Throat constricting, Roman struggled with a tide of emotions. “Crazy as it sounds, I missed my father. I know that might not make sense to you, but I needed him.” Over the last few days, his eyes had been opened. “Jasper tried to fill the gap, but I wouldn’t let him. Chet tried, too. I had walls up. When I accepted Christ, I found my Father. But there’s still that flip side. I still wonder.” He was silent a moment, praying. Jesus, help her understand what I can’t explain to myself, let alone another human being.
Time to put all his hopes on the table. “I love you, Grace. I want to marry you. I don’t know Samuel yet, but he’s your son, and that’s enough reason for me to love him.” Grace’s brown eyes softened. Was that love or compassion? “I didn’t tell you all that so you’d feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t.”
“A boy needs a father.”
Her eyes filled. “So does a girl.”
“Maybe that’s why God sent the angel to you.” His heart beat faster at the warmth in her expression. “If you say yes, we’ll go through premarriage counseling.” Shanice had told him about Patrick. “We’ll both do our own homework. If we keep Jesus front and center, we’ll make it through whatever this life throws at us.” His palms felt moist. He hadn’t thought to ask if she had met someone else. Another Brian Henley type who would be perfect for her instead of someone like him. “You told me once that you loved me. Do you still love me, Grace?”
“I’ve been trying very hard to get over you.”
“Any luck with that?”
“None.” Her lips tipped up.
Roman let out a breath. “Thank You, Jesus.”
Grace laughed softly. “I never thought I’d hear you pray.”
He hadn’t realized he’d spoken aloud. “That makes two of us.” He felt steadier inside, seeing a future and a hope opening in front of them. Her defenses were coming down, and his body was fast remembering the kiss they’d shared in Topanga Canyon. The rush of heat was coming on, and he wanted Grace in his arms right now. He put his hands on his knees, intending to make that happen, when he felt a check in his spirit telling him to wait. Better not to test his control . . . or hers.
Lord, I don’t deserve anything, but here You are again, showing me mercy and unfailing love.
“Mama?”
Roman turned and saw Samuel standing in the doorway, cheeks flushed from sleep, dark hair damp and matted. The last time Roman saw Samuel, he’d been a baby learning to crawl. Now a little boy stood on his own two feet, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Love swelled inside Roman until his eyes burned. Whether he was Bobby Ray Dean’s son or not, he could be. And he would be.
Clearing his throat, Roman spoke gently. “Hey, there, little man. Do you remember me?” Samuel looked at him in bewilderment. Why would this child remember? Roman had barely spent time with him. That was going to change.
Grace rose and went to Samuel. Lifting him, she perched her son comfortably on her hip and sat on the couch beside Roman. “Samuel, this man wants to be your daddy.”
Samuel looked up at Roman, eyelids drooping. Leaning against his mother, he went back to sleep.
Roman grinned at her. “He didn’t say no.” Was Grace going to say yes? “I guess he doesn’t have a problem with it.”
She laughed softly, eyes shining as she ran her hand over Samuel’s hair in a loving caress. She looked at him. “Neither do I.” Reaching up, she drew Roman’s head down and kissed him.
When her lips parted, Roman deepened the kiss. The old Roman would have put the child to bed and kissed Grace until neither cared whether they were married or not. The new man wanted God’s blessing and Grace’s trust. He wanted her to know he’d cherish her, not use her. And right now, with her hand on his chest, he wanted her too much. Capturing her hand, he straightened, then brushed her hair back over one shoulder with a trembling hand. Her flushed cheeks and darkening eyes drew him in, and he couldn’t help but kiss the racing pulse beneath her ear.
She drew in a soft breath. “I should put Samuel back to bed.”
Tempted to agree, Roman knew it wouldn’t take much more to cross the line.
“Safer for both of us if you keep him right where he is.” He cupped her cheek.
“Okay.” She let out a soft sigh.
“Was that relief or disappointment?” Roman couldn’t resist one more kiss, just to find out. And that kiss led to another until they were both breathless and trembling.