“You have no idea.” Cassie glanced over at Bobby. Under the harsh hospital lights, every wrinkle and blemish stood out on her pale skin. Machines beeped all around her, and a nasal cannula forced air into her nose. She hadn’t woken up since they’d put a stent in her heart that afternoon.
“Do you think she’ll regain consciousness soon?” Anna asked.
“We’re hoping so, but there’s no way to know for sure.”
Cassie glanced down at her hands, thankful that Nick was keeping Birdie busy at home. She hadn’t seen Bobby yet, but she’d been asking.
“I’ll update you if we find out anything more.” The doctor gave them a sympathetic smile and left the room.
“Cassie, it’s been a long day,” said Anna. “Why don’t you take my car and go home to Birdie? I’ll sit here with her for now. If you want to come up tomorrow, we can trade out.”
Cassie scrubbed her eyes with her hands, her arms moving stiffly. “Okay, that sounds good. But I’ll definitely relieve you in the morning.” She leaned over and kissed Bobby, and then her mother, on the cheek. “I’ll call you in a few hours.”
She made her way home on autopilot. There, she found Nick with a feather boa wrapped around his neck, what appeared to be blush slathered on his cheeks, and half of his nails painted. He sat patiently at the table while Birdie worked on the remaining fingers. Despite her last conversation with him, her heart swelled with affection for this man who would subject himself to a full make-up and nails treatment to keep her daughter happy.
“Don’t you look lovely!” Cassie bit back a laugh.
“Do you think? Birdie thought Summer Rose was a good color on me.” He waved his free hand to show off the nails.
“It’s perfect. Brings out your eyes.” Cassie couldn’t stop giggling. “I’m sorry, I think the stress has gotten to me.” When she was finally able to control herself, she wiped her eyes and sighed. “Thanks. I needed that.”
Nick put on an indignant face. “Well, I’m glad you were able to laugh at my expense. Birdie, I don’t think she appreciates the work you’ve put into me.”
“Mommy, this is not easy,” Birdie agreed solemnly as she finished Nick’s pinky finger. “He wiggles around a lot.”
Cassie laughed again. “Thank you,” she mouthed over Birdie’s head.
Nick winked at her. “How is she?”
“The same.” Cassie rubbed her neck and sighed. “Birdie, why don’t you go brush your teeth. I’ll be in soon to tuck you in.”
Birdie bounced out of the room, and Nick unrolled the feather boa from his neck. “Cassie, can we talk?”
Cassie dropped her weary body into a kitchen chair. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m so grateful to you for your help, but I meant what I said last night. You’re a great guy, and you deserve more than some damaged mess of a woman. I can’t do that to you.”
“Don’t worry about me. I know exactly what I’m getting with you, and I want it. All of it. You, your grief, Birdie, everything. Your loss is a part of who you are.” Nick twisted the boa in his big hands. “Look, I know it’s been only a couple of months, but they’ve been the best of my life. I feel so comfortable around you, like I’ve known you forever. It may sound crazy to say it already, but…” He hesitated, and the torment he struggled with clouded his eyes into a dark gray. “I think I’m falling in love with you, Cassie.”
The floor dropped out from under her, and all of her carefully constructed walls shook with the force of his admission. She hugged her knees to her chest and rocked back in her seat.
“Oh, Nick, I don’t…”
He held up his hands. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dropped that on you now, and don’t feel like you have to say anything. But I need you to know that I will wait as long as it takes until you’re ready, because you’re worth waiting for. There’s no one else for me.”
Fresh tears sprang from Cassie’s eyes, and she dropped her legs to the ground. “Don’t say that, Nick. Hearing everything Bobby lost gutted me. Don’t you understand? It brought me right back to my lowest point. I can’t risk opening myself up to that pain again. I can’t risk loving you and losing you!”
“Katya did,” Nick said quietly. He pulled the journal out of the box still sitting on the counter and set it in front of her. “I know we haven’t found out the full story yet, but you know she fell in love again. She opened herself up. She risked that pain. And in return, she had a wonderful marriage to your grandfather and a family who loves her.” Nick moved closer and took her hands. “She may have lost everything, but she never stopped fighting. Let me help you fight, Cassie. Let me love you.”