Katya sighed as she bent to gather the wheat and resume her work. Nothing had turned out like she expected. Her dreams of Pavlo had begun fading away. Sometimes, she would think about what their lives could have been like together, but it hurt too much to do that often. He was gone from her life now, his memories a sweet haunting melody that thrummed in her heart, but no longer pained her so constantly. She’d moved on in her own way, because she had to in order to survive, but she would never, could never, forget him.
Kolya paused, wiping his brow with his forearm, and turned to face her. “How are you feeling?” He reached out and cupped her cheek.
She placed her hand on top of his and smiled. “I feel wonderful.”
He leaned forward and kissed her—his lips soft and salty with sweat—then pulled back, a grin playing on his mouth. “Then so do I, Katya. So do I.”
Katya curled her bare toes in the warm dirt and turned her face up to the gentle sun. Her father’s voice echoed in her ears. Look to the future. Life would move on with or without her, so she chose to fight.
She chose to live.
35
CASSIE
Illinois, June 2004
“That’s it. Her entries end there.” Nick closed the book and set it on the table in front of Cassie.
“You were right. She fell in love with Kolya. Alina’s husband and Pavlo’s brother. My grandfather. She lost so much, but she found happiness again.”
Cassie pressed her palm into the worn cover of the journal. The theme of love after loss wasn’t lost on her, and though she still wasn’t ready to face her own issues head on, she wondered if Bobby had pushed her to read the journal for more than one reason.
“It’s pretty amazing,” Nick said. “But that guilt must have been overwhelming.”
Cassie took a deep breath. “I can’t imagine. It’s hard enough to move on from the death of a husband, but then to fall in love with your double brother-in-law?”
“But she didn’t lose two husbands,” Nick pointed out. “Well, not till much later, at least. She found her happy ending.”
“In love, yes. But what happened to Halya? Why have we never heard of her?” Cassie stood, questions racing through her mind. “I have to go see her.”
“Of course. I’ll stay with Birdie, if you want,” Nick offered.
“Are you sure you don’t mind? I hate to take advantage of you again, but I don’t know if this conversation is going to be kid friendly.”
“Don’t be silly. That’s what friends are for.” Nick inspected his fingers. “Maybe she can do my nails for me again. They’re looking a little rough.”
Cassie laughed and grabbed her purse. “Thank you, Nick. I owe you!”
“I take payments in varenyky,” he called as she walked out the door.
An hour later, after Cassie had picked up Anna and filled her in, she pulled a chair up next to the hospital bed. Bobby’s eyes were closed, and she looked frail and small, as if the life were slowly draining out of her.
Anna sat on the end of the bed, wide-eyed, and nodded towards Cassie. “You start. I’m still processing.”
Cassie picked up the wrinkled hand in her own. “Bobby, we finished the journal.”
Bobby’s eyelids fluttered open, and she squeezed Cassie’s hand. “Finally.”
Cassie chuckled. “It’s not an easy read.”
“It wasn’t an easy life.” Bobby looked over at Anna and smiled. “So you know too?”
Anna nodded tightly. “What happened to her? To Halya?”
Bobby closed her eyes again. “I lost her.”
“Please! No more vague answers, Mama. I deserve to know. She was my sister!”
Bobby met Anna’s angry stare, her face grim. “You’re right.”
“Take your time.” Cassie shot her mom a warning look, and Anna ducked her head. Coming in hot wouldn’t help anyone.
Bobby struggled to sit up a bit. “After the famine, things never went back to normal. Collective farming changed village life forever, and the Soviets continued to purge us, deporting people to gulags for the slightest reason. Outside of our walls, the world was terrifying, but in our home, with the three of us, I could pretend none of that was going on.” Bobby squeezed Cassie’s hand. “Halya loved to plant flowers, like you, Cassie. She went to school, fell in love with poetry, and grew to look more like her mother every day. Your grandfather and I doted on her, and we were grateful for every moment we had together.