“Thanks.” She gave a grim smile. “You know, no one would fault you for going crazy for a bit after losing your whole family. I lost Henry, but I still have my mom, my daughter, my Bobby, and honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
With her history laid out bare for Nick to see, Cassie relaxed. The serious talk took a backseat to carefree stories about Birdie’s younger years and Nick’s crazy fire calls. They talked as if they’d known each other forever. Nick made her laugh over and over, and the doubts that had plagued Cassie through the day faded away.
When they pulled up to Bobby’s house, Nick jogged around the front of the car to open her door, then escorted her to the front porch.
The porch light shadowed his features, but his wide smile still shone. “I know we got into some pretty heavy conversations, but I had a great time with you tonight, Cassie.”
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. “I did, too.”
He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “I’d like to see you again, if that’s okay. Outside the journal translations, I mean.”
She nodded but couldn’t speak. Her face tingled where his lips had lingered, and she raised her fingers to the spot as if she could capture that feeling and save it.
“Good night, Cassie.” Nick backed away, his eyes still holding hers.
She found her voice, but it came out in a throaty whisper. “Good night, Nick.”
Inside, both her mother and Bobby waited on the couch.
“So, how was it?” Anna pounced on her as soon as the door shut.
“Nice,” Cassie breathed, her hand still on her cheek. Confusion clouded her thoughts. She’d written off this part of her as dead along with Henry, yet here she was, pulse racing while the sweet kiss Nick had placed on her cheek played on repeat in her mind.
“Just nice, eh?” Bobby chuckled. “Looks like more than just nice.”
“We had a good time. I talked way more than I should have, probably. But he did, too. I haven’t talked with someone like that in forever.”
“I knew it.” Anna clapped her hands. “He’s special.”
“Mom, it was one date. Let’s not get carried away.”
“You can’t see the look on your face. I haven’t seen you this happy since, well, in over a year. I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever see you come back to life like this. Let me enjoy it!”
Later that night, when the house was asleep, Cassie wrote in her Henry memory journal. She recounted their first date, ten years ago, and how he’d picked her up in his rickety old car and taken her to the fanciest restaurant in their small college town. The whole meal had to have cost him a full paycheck from the sports store he clerked at on the weekends, but, despite her best efforts to go Dutch, he insisted that it was his treat. When she was done documenting the story, she ran her hand down the finished page and closed the book. One small teardrop trailed down her cheek and splashed onto the cover.
Then she pulled out a new notebook and began to write about her date with Nick.
26
KATYA
Ukraine, January 1933
For weeks, Katya had fallen asleep to the sound of her mother’s labored breathing. Wheezing and rattling, it punctuated the minutes like a clock marking the time as they fell further into the nightmarish reality of their lives.
Three days after her marriage to Kolya, Katya blinked awake, her thoughts fuzzy and tangled, as unexplained trepidation made her shiver. She pushed herself out of bed and glanced around the room, searching for the source of her unease. Early morning light filtered in the window, landing on her mother’s pale, still face.
She crept over, the empty silence of the room echoing all around her and touched her mother’s cold cheek. She’d expected to feel sad. To feel lost. Alone. And she did feel all those things, but in a detached way, as if her heart had grown so hardened that even sharp, intense feelings could no longer penetrate it.
What she didn’t anticipate was the sudden surge of relief.
Relief that this shell of her mother no longer suffered. Relief that she no longer had to agonize over the futility of trying to keep her alive. Relief that they didn’t have to go to sleep each night wondering if her mother would wake up the next day, because finally, she hadn’t.
Now, Mama was just one more person she had failed to save.
Halya began to cry, and Katya took a shuddering breath. “I’m coming, Halya.” She pushed herself up on shaky legs and picked up the red-faced baby.
Katya glanced around the empty house. Kolya must have already left for work at the collective farm. She had no one to help her, no one to tell her what she should do.