She didn’t know all the other titles, but she brushed her hand down the list, securing it in place, as Samuel pulled at her free hand. These titles, they pulled her away from the person she was right now, back to a previous Gigi. Those films she’d seen on dates – that was her go-to date night. She hadn’t seen a film in the cinema for ages now. Samuel didn’t have the attention span for it, not just yet.
She missed it; she missed sitting in those fluffy, worn cinema chairs, eating popcorn, with either her mum or a guy beside her. She missed that feeling, as the lights went dark and the credits started to roll. If it was something she loved so much, why hadn’t she done something about it?
‘Mumma, I want gwape.’ Samuel’s voice pulled her back to the present.
‘Yes, sweetie, we’ll get them. Just putting this up for someone who lost it.’
‘It’s mine!’
‘It’s not yours, but you nicely found it for them. Isn’t that nice of you?’
‘Mine!’
‘Okay, come on then, let’s get some grapes.’
But, just as Gigi turned around, she pulled out her phone and took a quick snapshot of the list. She would call her mum, her mum knew everything – she’d know every title, every film, every book. Maybe they could go see some of these together. To make up for lost time.
Chapter 18
MUKESH
‘WHY DON’T YOU TAKE her somewhere outside of Wembley for once?’ Aleisha said politely as Mukesh sat in his favourite library armchair.
‘I never take Priya outside of Wembley. Why would I?’
Mukesh had asked Aleisha for advice about bonding with Priya – she was the only young person he knew, so he thought she might understand Priya better than he did. But he was now starting to regret bringing the topic up at all.
‘Because she’s a kid. When I was her age, I was always out, on the road playing or something. Being at home is boring.’
‘You don’t find home boring. You’re always at home! Or here!’
‘Ouch, Mr P. You know, that kinda hurts.’ Aleisha held her hand up in front of her face and turned to the side, as if upset.
‘Have I really offended you?’ he asked, panicked.
‘No! Mr P, I’m kidding. But you know, I don’t always want to be at home.’
‘Why not? Home is nice. Especially as you have your family.’
‘Yeah, but …’ He saw her eyes drift away for a moment. ‘Well, family’s not always easy. My mum, she’s sometimes … you see, she’s not very well.’
‘What do you mean? Naina always told me to take my vitamin C and zinc tablets. I would recommend.’
‘No, not that. Sorry … I never talk about this, to anyone.’ She looked at her hands, anywhere but at him. ‘Just, she doesn’t look after herself, so I have to do it for her. Since my dad went to live somewhere else, me and Aidan are all she has.’
Mukesh was silent; he didn’t know what to say.
She’d never spoken about her father before. He’d never come up, not when they’d spoken about Scout and Jem’s father, nor Amir’s father.
He wracked his brain for words of comfort. Naina would know exactly what to say. He kept as quiet as possible, hoping she might come to his rescue – but it had been weeks since he’d last heard her voice. He was on his own here.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ Mukesh admitted, finally. ‘So you don’t like being at home? But you don’t like being in the library either?’
‘I don’t mind the library now. It’s all right.’
‘And what does your brother do?’ He remembered her talking fondly about her brother, whenever they discussed Scout and Jem.
Aleisha fiddled with her long fingernails. ‘He’s working all the time, these days. I think he’s stressed a lot now …’ Aleisha paused then, almost surprised at her own words. ‘He never really gives himself a break.’ Then she took a deep breath, and kept her eyes fixed on her hands. Mukesh had the sense that she’d never said this out loud before. ‘But we used to hang out, he loved going into central London on summer holidays – we never did anything. Sometimes we just got on Tube trains and would see where we ended up.’
‘I used to like doing that after work. It can be very peaceful.’
Aleisha nodded. ‘Totally. Aidan usually loves it, just being among people but sitting quietly, everyone minding their own business. When I first got my Oyster card, he begged Mum to let him take me on trips. She wasn’t sure about allowing us both to go on our own, but she said yes. Mum’s an artist, well, a graphic designer, so he took me to some galleries because I never really understood what she did. We didn’t see the exhibitions, but Aidan picked up some postcards for her. She gave us the biggest hug when we got back, like we’d been gone years.’