But it looked like all Billy heard was that she felt it too. “I think it’s a good idea.” And then he kissed her again, and she had to agree. His lips felt good and right against hers. And unlike with Mac, she really wanted to kiss Billy.
“I don’t suppose you want to come back to my place for a while?” he asked.
But she shook her head. “I do. But I don’t. This is huge Billy. We need to be really sure. I think we should take things slow.”
He grinned. “I’m sure you’re right. But I had to ask. So, we’ll take it slow then. You’ll come back in two weeks and we’ll go on an official date.”
“Okay.”
Chapter 21
Mandy was nervous as she shook the hand of the therapist that Barbara referred to her. Maggie Dunham seemed like a nice enough woman. She seemed to be in her early sixties and had the classic preppy Nantucket look—a simple blonde chin-length bob, a string of pearls and a soft yellow top paired with a pretty blue skirt. She led Mandy into her home office, which was a comfortable room with bookcases lining the walls, several tall lamps, an assortment of chairs and two big bay windows that overlooked a grassy backyard. There was no sofa to recline on, which was how Mandy always pictured a therapist’s office.
“Please have a seat and make yourself comfortable,” Maggie said.
Mandy tried to do that. She settled into the nearest chair, crossed her legs and waited for Maggie to begin.
“Have you been to a therapist before?” Maggie asked. She sat across from Mandy, with a yellow legal pad in her lap.
Mandy shook her head. “No, never. This is my first time. I’m not really sure what to expect, to be honest.”
Maggie smiled. “There’s no one right way to do therapy. It’s your time to talk about whatever you want to talk about. I’m just here to listen and to help where I can. Why don’t you start by telling me why you’re here?”
“Okay. I’m trying to process what happened with my husband and if I should move toward divorce or consider trying to work things out.”
“What do you want to do?”
That was the million-dollar question.
“I want to turn back time and have Cory make different choices.” She sighed. “I’m just really struggling with this and wondering how much of it is my fault.”
“Your fault? Can you explain that a bit?”
“Sure. I keep wondering if something I did or didn’t do or something I said may have pushed Cory into the actions he took. If I’m partly responsible.”
“And if you are? Will that change anything? Should it change anything?”
“I don’t know. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Why don’t you start from the beginning and walk me through exactly what happened,” Maggie suggested.
Mandy took a deep breath and then dove in. When she finished, Maggie nodded.
“Please know that this isn’t your fault. Cory chose to do what he did for reasons known only to him. What you have to consider is if you think he has the capacity to change his behavior in a way that you can live with.”
“Do you think that’s possible?” It was what Mandy had been wrestling with.
“Anything is possible. But Cory has already done the hardest thing, which was open the door to being unfaithful. And he’s admitted he liked the thrill of the forbidden. He might be on his best behavior if you take him back, maybe forever, maybe for a long time, but it won’t be as hard for him to open that door again, and the temptation will always be there. But some people do make it work. Only you will know if it’s worth trying to get past it.”
Mandy nodded. “I know. And I’ve read that most men that cheat go on to do it again. Cory couldn’t even explain why he did it, just that it fed some kind of need in him. Which is what made me wonder if I’d failed him in some way. It’s very confusing.”
“People are complex. Cory’s reasons may have very little to nothing to do with you.”
“He said that. Said it was something in him. But, it just seems like our relationship must be broken in some way for him to do that.”
“It may have nothing to do with your relationship and everything to do with his relationship with himself. Is he willing to go to counseling?”
“He said that he was, but I don’t know that he was serious. I think he thought he could talk his way into me forgiving him and things would go back to normal. But there is no more normal. Not for me anyway. My biggest struggle is with feelings of guilt about whether to try again.”