“I don’t want to be a downer, but it’s my job as co-pilot to make sure we’re ready for takeoff. So what happens if you break things off with Gabriel, and Max says he doesn’t think long distance will work?”
I shook my head. “I become a workaholic spinster?”
Maggie smirked. “Good safety net.”
I reached for the door handle. “Thank you for driving today. My mind needed the time to wander.”
“No worries. Mine wanders while I’m driving. I don’t even remember getting on the bridge.”
I laughed. “I’ll probably be a little late tomorrow so I can call Gabriel from home. It’s not going to be an easy conversation.”
“Alright. I’ll hold down the fort. Stop by my office when you get in to let me know how it goes.”
? ? ?
“What if we keep things the way they have been? Just leave our relationship open and see where we are when I get back? I won’t see other people if you don’t want me to.” Gabriel paused. “Please, Georgia. Give me another chance. I know I fucked up.”
The emotion in his voice made my insides twist. But I had to remain steadfast to be fair to both of us. It would be so easy to say sure, let’s continue with an open relationship and then keep Gabriel on ice while I see how things pan out with Max. But I needed to give things with Max my all, and that meant having all of me to give.
“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I really am. But it’s best that we make a clean break at this point.”
“Do you…not love me anymore?” His voice cracked.
“You’ll always have a piece of my heart, because I gave that to you. But love can change.”
“God, I really fucked up. If I hadn’t left…”
“I’m not sure that’s true. I think any love that has the word if involved with it may not be the kind of love that lasts. True love should always be even though or in spite of, never if I hadn’t.”
“Did that hockey player make you choose?”
“Max doesn’t even know I’m making a choice.”
Gabriel went quiet. “I don’t know what’s left to say, but I don’t want to say goodbye because I feel like I might never get to speak to you again.”
He wasn’t wrong. We were breaking up. People always say they’ll keep in touch, but it rarely happens. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I really am.”
“Promise me something?”
“What?”
“If you’re single when I get back, for whatever reason, you’ll let me take you to dinner, even if just as friends.”
I sighed. “Sure.”
“I love you, Georgia.”
“Goodbye, Gabriel.”
? ? ?
I waited until the early afternoon to call Max.
My heart had felt heavy after I’d hung up with Gabriel, and I’d needed some time to shake that gloomy feeling. But as the hours passed, I went from feeling sad to really damn nervous. I’d ended things with a man I cared about to take a chance with one I wasn’t even sure felt as strongly as I did.
Eventually, I also began to feel excited at the prospect of what might come of things with Max, but it was the kind of excitement I imagined a trapeze artist might feel as he stepped out to walk the tightrope with no safety net.
Still, I felt more alive than I had in years as I picked up the phone to call Max.
“Hey, beautiful.” His deep, gravelly voice wrapped around me like a warm blanket.
I sighed. “Would it be weird to ask you to record that so I can play it whenever I’m feeling down?”
“How about you just call and hear it live when you need to? It’s been a few days…”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I needed some time to sort things out.”
“Did it work? Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Good. Glad to hear it. Do you want to talk about it?”
“I do. But I was hoping we could talk in person. Are you busy tonight?”
“Actually, I am.”
“Oh…alright. Tomorrow maybe?”
“Won’t be back by then. I’m going to California for a few days. I leave tonight.”
“I didn’t realize you had another trip planned so soon.”
“It was sort of a last-minute thing.”
“When are you back?”
“Saturday.”
Normally, Max was an open book. But he wasn’t offering any information about this trip. “Is everything okay with your new team?”