‘One more fake emergency, and that’ll be it. Wolves everywhere. No sheep left to be found.’
‘Oh, there’s still an emergency,’ Lily said, making a face. ‘Just not a “the call is coming from inside the house” type of emergency. More of… a well, I suppose you could call it a situation.’
‘A situation?’ Emily said, ears suddenly pricked. ‘Tell me more!’
‘Try not to sound too enthusiastic about it.’
‘Ooh, have you done something bad, Lily?’
‘It depends how you define bad, I suppose,’ she said, walking through into the living room where her laptop flickered on the sofa. She passed it to Emily silently and watched as her friend’s eyes quickly scanned the text of the email.
‘Bloody hell, Lily. Is this for real?’ Emily sank onto the sofa, her humour draining from her briefly.
‘Yep,’ Lily replied, sitting next to her. ‘Told you it was a situation.’
‘This is almost dashing-over-in-pyjamas worthy.’
‘I know.’
‘How much wine did you actually have?’
‘Well, almost a bottle, but that’s not the point.’
‘You know, most people get involved in a bit of harmless antisocial behaviour when they’re on the lash. Maybe get arrested or something. Or sleep with a stranger. Or, I don’t know, have a screaming row and throw their partner’s stuff out on the lawn,’ her friend told her, amusement turning up the corners of her mouth despite her serious expression.
‘Yep. All preferable to this, I’d say.’
‘Certainly cheaper.’
‘Yup.’
‘And who looks at properties on eBay anyway? Whenever I buy something on there, I forget to check the measurements and it ends up a complete disaster. But a house!’
‘I know.’
‘One you haven’t even seen?’
‘I know.’
‘In France?’
‘Shh! I know!’ Lily said. ‘What I don’t know is what on earth I’m going to do about it.’ Seeing Emily had cheered her up, as it usually did. But the anxiety she’d been flooded with this morning raced through her again as she looked at the text on the screen.
For once it had been a relief that Ben had booked up a game of tennis for Saturday morning. Usually she’d be disappointed they couldn’t spend a lazy morning together. But today she’d practically packed his sports bag for him.
‘Are you sure it’s OK?’ he’d said. ‘Sorry, I forgot to put it on the calendar. I mean, I don’t feel that great, so if you want me to change it…’
‘No, don’t be silly, it’ll do you good!’ she’d said, patting his back and ushering him to the front door. ‘Oh look, here are your keys!’
‘I’ll be half an hour early at this poin—’
‘Bye then!’ she’d trilled, shutting the front door before rushing to the phone to ring Emily.
‘Surely it’s not binding? I mean, clicking a button on eBay?’ Emily said now. ‘You could say your kid did it, or your dog or something. It must happen all the time.’
‘That’s what I hoped. I was going to get on to eBay and find out this morning. But then I got a message from the seller. An email.’
‘And?’
‘Well, it was all in French, so I had to run it through Google translate, but…’ she reached over and flicked up another web page.
TRANSLATION
Dear Mrs,
I am delighted very that you have purchased the good-looking house of stone near to a large body of water. I will speak to the lawyer and the paperwork he will become drawn up in very shortly time I truly believe very not slowly. And it is good news for you too! I am the mayor of the local town of Eymoutiers that which means I can make quicker the time for signing. There is still of course a legal process, but one that I can influence with my powers and help to make a more quickly speed. I wish to hear from you most quickly.
Many wonderful days, Frédérique de Breton.
It wasn’t the most accurate of translations, but it was pretty easy to get the gist.
‘Oh.’
‘Yes.’
‘He’s the mayor?’
‘Yep. And I looked him up. Did you know that in France the mayor is also the chief gendarme?’
‘The, what?’
‘Head of the local police.’
‘Whoops. Uh-oh, you’re in trouble, Lily Butterworth!’ Emily said, with a laugh.