‘Not at all. I can make up some sort of excuse for being there if you like? So he doesn’t feel too… well, exposed?’
‘If you can think of one.’
‘You forget who you’re talking to. I am the queen of excuses!’
‘Thank you, Emily. I think I’ll feel a lot better with your take on the situation.’
‘No problem. It’s weird but when I had those horrible months, what surprised me most was the people who came through for me, and the people who didn’t. It turned my world upside down – friends I thought were… well, proper friends turned out not to be quite so reliable. And then my neighbour – do you remember? – Pat. She was round most mornings for a coffee. We never really spoke about it, but we both knew why she was there.’
‘Yes, I remember. She was great.’
‘Exactly. So that’s who I’ll be, for Ben. If he needs me that is. His weird but present neighbour.’
‘Thank you.’ Lily felt a weight lift from her. It would have been hard to call Ben’s mum at the moment, and she’d never really seen eye to eye with Baz. Having someone on her team to check up on Ben would work wonders putting her mind at ease.
‘Anyway, I have to ask. How did the date go? And, come to think of it, why were you walking back on your own, wearing last night’s clothes?’
Lily blushed, although there was no one to see her. ‘It’s not what you think,’ she said. ‘He was a proper gentleman. I mean, we kissed. But nothing else. I was too drunk, he said.’
‘So he’s a good guy.’
‘A very good guy.’
‘Or maybe just worried that you might vomit on him or something.’
‘Well, that’s always a possibility…’
‘Ha. And the kiss was…?’
‘Kiss-es.’
‘Ooh, and they were…?’
‘Heavenly. Honestly, I felt about eighteen again – I’d forgotten how exciting it was to be in the beginning of a relationship, the kind of thrill of not really knowing how it’s going to go.’
‘I think I remember. Although to be honest, it’s been a while.’
‘Well, only for good reasons.’
‘True. Then coming home to see Ty! You must have died!’
‘It was weird, though,’ Lily said. ‘For a minute, when I noticed him standing there from a distance, I thought he was Ben. He had his back to me, and he’s grown, even in these few weeks. He looked just the same as his dad from the back. I ran up to him and nearly threw myself at him, until he turned around and I realised just in time.’
‘Eek, nothing like a full-on snog from your own mother.’
‘Quite.’
There was a brief silence, then Emily took an audible breath. ‘But, Lily, what do you think that means?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, bear with me, but don’t you think it sort of means something that you had that reaction when you thought it was Ben? Running towards him with bare feet? Flinging yourself into his arms? It’s like a scene from a bloody Richard Curtis movie.’
‘Ha. Well, I suppose. Although to be fair, it wasn’t raining.’
‘That’s true.’
‘And neither of us were about to board a plane, or had just ducked out of our own wedding.’
‘Good point. So not very Curtis-esque after all.’
‘Except for the running.’
‘Except for that. But seriously, Lily. What if it had been him? What would have happened?’
‘I’m not sure… I mean, I suppose, well, in that moment I was just so happy to see him. Like I’d been missing a puzzle piece and it had finally turned up. But maybe once the initial… thrill had died down, things wouldn’t have felt so straightforward.’
‘But what would you have felt like,’ Emily said carefully, ‘if it had been Ben, but you’d actually slept with Frédérique?’
Lily was silent for a minute. She imagined coming home one day to find that Ben had actually decided to join her. Whatever she told herself, she knew deep down that her dream of living in France had always included him. And admittedly, had she slept with Frédérique, despite the fact she and Ben were separated, it would probably scupper any chance that they might get back together.
But what was she meant to do? She couldn’t wait forever. Be alone forever.
‘Thing is, Emily,’ she said firmly, ‘Ben isn’t coming.’