“I’m afraid that won’t happen,” the doctor says, and I snap my attention back to him. “The stroke caused your father to be without oxygen for too long.”
“Mrs. Palma called an ambulance right away, though. And she gave him CPR.”
“Yes, but unfortunately, the damage he suffered was too extensive.” His frown deepens. “I’ve contacted the neurologist. He’ll be doing a final consult shortly, but he doesn’t think there will be any improvement. I concur.”
They’re wrong. These guys might have medical degrees, but it doesn’t mean their assessment is infallible.
“Then you don’t know my dad,” I fire back and Phoenix moves closer.
Features pinched, he rises from the chair. “Lennon, I’m very sorry, but your father is not going to make it.”
That’s not true. “Yes, he will.”
“No. He will not. The ventilator is what’s keeping him alive right now.”
Then I guess he’ll just have to stay on a vent.
He takes a step forward. “Many people in your situation see organ donation as a way of turning tragedy into something good. When you’re ready, there are some people from the donation center who would like to speak with you.”
Organ donation? What? Isn’t he jumping the gun? It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.
“I’m not giving up on him.”
The doctor regards Phoenix. “I’ll send a grief counselor to the room shortly.” He gives me a sympathetic smile as he heads for the door. “If there’s anything else I can do or anything you need, please let myself or the nurses know.”
I need you to do your job and save my dad.
The weird knot in my stomach becomes a violent wave of pain. It’s so intense my knees buckle and everything around me spins.
He’s dying.
The tears come again…only this time they’re wails that shake my entire body.
“Breathe,” Phoenix whispers and it takes me a second to register that I’m in his arms.
I try to take a breath past the agony, but I can’t. It’s pummeling me into the ground, stealing every ounce of strength I possess.
This pain is unlike any I’ve ever experienced.
The harder I sob, the tighter Phoenix holds me.
I don’t know how long this goes on, but eventually my tears run dry, leaving me completely drained.
I don’t remember Phoenix sitting down in a chair or pulling me onto his lap, but he’s rubbing gentle circles up and down my back and his lips are pressed against my forehead.
“Where’s Mrs. Palma?” I croak.
“She went home to get you a change of clothes, but she’ll be back soon. Do you want me to call her?”
“No, it’s okay.”
Once she’s here, I’ll have to say the words aloud and I’m not ready for that.
I peer up at him. “I really appreciate you coming, but you should go back to Europe.”
He’s in the middle of his own shitstorm right now and the last place he needs to be is here with me.
Emotion slashes the sharp lines of his face, and he palms my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I want to argue, but I don’t have the stamina for it.
Sliding off his lap, I maneuver into the empty seat next to him.
Whatever was left of my heart shatters as I stare at my dad. You’d think it would be easier given I’ve been losing him in pieces these past two years, but it’s not…because I can’t stop thinking of everything I’m going to miss out on.
The things we’ll never get to experience.
“He’s never gonna see me get married,” I choke out as another wave of grief swallows me whole.
He once told me that my wedding day would be the best and worst day of his life. When I asked him why, he said it was because he’d be giving me away to someone who loved me just as much as he did…but it also meant he’d be losing me.
But I’m the one losing him.
I feel another loose thread of my broken heart pull with my next thought.
“He’s never gonna meet his grandkids.”
My dad said I’d never understand just how deep love could be until I had children of my own one day.
But I don’t need to have kids to understand it, because my love for him runs deeper than an ocean.
Which is probably why I’ve already cried enough tears to fill one.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
He wasn’t supposed to abandon me like this.
“I’m all alone now.”