I’ve only been here for three hours, but it feels like an eternity.
I was foolishly optimistic during the plane ride home and figured he’d be up and talking by the time I got here.
My heart folds in on itself as I zero in on the ventilator covering my dad’s face and the various tubes sticking out of him.
My dad was eating dinner at the kitchen table when he started complaining of a headache. Mrs. Palma went to get him some acetaminophen, but when she came back, his speech was slurred, and he started vomiting.
She was already dialing 911 when he collapsed.
The stroke he had was severe, and the doctors informed Mrs. Palma that his condition was critical and the outcome wasn’t favorable.
But they don’t know my father.
He’s gonna pull through this. He has to.
Come on, Dad. Wake up.
Mrs. Palma takes a seat next to me. “I’m so sorry.”
She keeps saying that, but this isn’t her fault.
It’s mine.
I should have been here. But I wasn’t.
Because once again, I got too close to the sun.
Only this time it was my own damn fault I got burned.
I try to inhale, but the guilt crushing my chest is asphyxiating me.
I should have refused to go to Europe. Then we would have had more time together.
My eyes sting and I swallow back tears. I shouldn’t have gone on tour.
Maybe then my dad wouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life.
Reaching over, Mrs. Palma grips my hand. “You should try to get some sleep, sweetie. You must be exhausted.”
She’s right, between the time difference and the nine-hour-and-fifteen-minute flight home, I should be.
But there’s no way I can rest until I know he’ll be okay.
I shake my head. “I need to be here when he wakes up.”
Because he has to wake up.
And the more I repeat it, the more I’ll believe it.
Shifting in her seat, she frowns. “Honey—”
“Sir,” a feminine voice yells from the hallway. “This is the ICU. You can’t be back here.”
“What room is Lennon Michael’s father in?” Phoenix rumbles, that unmistakable melodic voice bouncing off the walls.
What the hell is he doing here?
“I’m not at liberty to give you that information. Please leave.”
Her refusal doesn’t sit well with Phoenix though, because he barks, “Fuck off.”
Shit.
Mrs. Palma and I swap flabbergasted looks before I get out of my chair. “I’ll handle this.”
When I step out of the room, I see him roaming the hallway with his hands cupped around his mouth. “Lennon!”
“Don’t make me call security,” the nurse warns at the same time Phoenix spots me.
Before I can blink, he’s barreling toward me.
I planned on sending him away, but the second his arms are around me, something deep inside me ruptures and I crumble.
Phoenix doesn’t try to cheer me up, encourage me to stay strong, or make false promises that everything will be okay.
He just holds me tight while I fall apart.
My muffled sobs soak through his T-shirt as he runs his fingertips up and down my back.
Moments later, the nurse comes over. “I’m very sorry but you need to leave.”
I lift my head. “But—”
“I know it’s an incredibly difficult time for you,” she interjects. “And while I sympathize, I’ve already given you a lot of leeway.” She flicks her hand at Mrs. Palma, who’s coming out of the room. “Not only is it well before visiting hours, but it’s only supposed to be one person at a time.” She narrows her eyes at Phoenix. “Three is pushing it.”
I hate these stupid hospital rules, but I know it’s not her fault. Plus, she’s right, she has been incredibly accommodating.
“If I leave, will you allow him to stay with her?” Mrs. Palma questions, surprising me.
“No,” I quickly say. “I don’t want you to leave.”
My chest caves in as I peer up at Phoenix.
“I…um.”
I don’t want him to go either.
Leaning down, he kisses my forehead. “I’m staying, Groupie.” He turns to the nurse. “Get the CEO on the phone. Now.”
Peeved, the nurse raises an eyebrow. “I beg your pardon? Who do you think—”
“I’m Phoenix fucking Walker,” he snarls.
The nurse must not be a rock fan because that doesn’t seem to faze her one bit.
However, the two women in scrubs making their way to the nurses’ station damn near trip and fall on their faces when they notice him.