My hand stilled on his cock and I opened my eyes. Wyatt had casually brought up the idea of having children a couple weeks ago and asked how I felt about it. I liked the idea of having a baby with him, but I was scared of the whole pregnancy, childbirth, and baby-shooting-out-of-my-ladyparts situation.
But I loved him and he抎 be an amazing father. We had so much love for each other. I wanted to love someone the way my mom and dad loved me.
揑 remember.?
His hands came to my hair and he tucked a strand behind my ear. 揑 think we should start.?
I inhaled a deep breath with wide eyes, gaze locked with him. 揧ou want to have a baby now.?
He smiled and nodded. 揑 love you. And seeing everyone today, all together,?his throat worked and he blinked, 搃t made me want that but with our own family. We love each other so much.?
I nodded and gave him a soft smile. 揧eah, we do.?I pulled in another shaky breath. 揂 baby.?I nodded to myself. 揂 real baby.?
He laughed and pressed a kiss to my temple.
揑抦 scared,?I admitted. 揘ot just of babies. What if we screw it up??
He nodded. 揧eah, we might. But I don抰 think we will. We should be brave.?
揃rave,?I repeated, nodding. I thought about my mom, and how much she loved me, and all the memories I had with her. My heart ached in the best way. I nodded again at him and gave him a bigger smile. 揙kay.?
揙kay??His face lit up. 揂re you sure? We can table it.?
I shook my head hard. 揘ope. You抮e right. We抣l never be ready, but I want to try. Whatever comes our way, we抣l figure it out together.?
Wyatt kissed me hard and his love filled me all the way to my toes. 揑 love you, bookworm.?
揑 love you, too.?
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Author抯 Thoughts
Hello again, you beautiful romance reader, you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this book. I would love if you could rate or review it online.
Hannah hit close to home for me because in my twenties, I didn抰 know what the hell I was doing in terms of sex. Neither did my partners! We were all fumbling around based off public school education and awkward discussions with parents. They didn抰 explain the good stuff, you know? （And yeah, that would be kind of awkward if they did, but that抯 also my sex-negative conditioning talking there）。 In sex ed, did they mention the clit once? No! So Hannah is kind of like me in my twenties. Confused about sex.
Then, I started reading romance. The sex in romance books isn抰 always realistic, but it prioritizes women抯 pleasure. I抦 so confused when women don抰 read romance. I抦 like, how do you know how to have an orgasm?
This is a good part to mention that in my mid-twenties, a new boyfriend realized I had a tough time getting to the finish line, and bought me my first vibrator. What a champ. The relationship didn抰 last but I will always remember and appreciate him for that. The world needs more men like that. A vibrator isn抰 a competitor, it抯 a team mate.
Shoutout to Dr. Brene Brown and Oprah for their podcast episode about vulnerability, which made me sob in my car and helped uncover Wyatt. The terror of losing something you love. I feel it every time I look at my partner, a guy I抳e talked to almost every day since I was twenty years old （we were friends long before we were together）。 I feel it when I hug my dog. When I抦 laughing with my brothers or parents. Memento mori, right? Death is inevitable, so we need to lean in to those moments of joy while they抮e here.
Thank you to friends Maggie North and Helen Camisa for reading an early draft and providing encouragement and insightful feedback. Both of you say all the smart things and I抦 just over here furiously taking notes on how to be like you.
Thank you to Sandy for your surfing knowledge. You抮e a rad feminist dude and I promise Carter is not based on you.
Thank you to editor Jeni Chappelle, for leading me in the right direction with your clever notes.
Thank you to Brett Bird and Alanna Goobie for proofreading. The enthusiasm you two have for romance books makes my heart happy.
Shoutouts to my soulmates, many of whom listened to me fret over this book and told me that like always, it was going to be okay. If it were up to Bryan Hansen, this book would be about Hannah Nielsen, Queen抯 Cove抯 first dominatrix. We抣l save that for her forties.