“That’s the Grimoricon,” he says. He takes my hand and leads me to the center of the room until we are a single step from the book. So close I could reach out and touch it.
“What is it?” I ask, as if I don’t know.
“It’s the great book of our people. The Court of the Moon once claimed it as their own, but I’m loath to imagine the havoc Mordeus would bring to our world if he had it.”
My heart sinks. I may be confused about many things, but I am clear on Mordeus’s character. He is evil, cruel, and conniving, and Faerie will not fare well if a male like that has even more power. I’ve been on a mission to save Jas at any cost, but for the first time, I see that I’m endangering the fate of an entire realm in exchange for my sister’s life. But the alternative? It’s unfathomable.
I tamp down my newfound doubt and focus on the book. “What’s inside?”
“It holds the spells of our Old Ones and guidance for tapping into their powers. Once I take the throne, this is the book that will lead me in ruling my kingdom. My grandparents went to great lengths to retrieve it, and they lost many good faeries in doing so. Now it may be the only thing keeping my mother alive.”
I whip my head around to look at him. “What?”
“Magic is life. And this”—he nods at the book—“this is some of our most powerful magic. My mother’s been dying for years now. She’s probably only alive today because her life has been magically linked to this book.”
Slowly, I reach out, but he grabs my hand before I can touch it.
“Don’t.” His eyes are wide, his pulse fluttering quickly in his neck.
“Is it dangerous?”
“I don’t know what would happen to you if your mortal skin came into contact with such great magic. And if the book is disturbed . . .” He swallows. “If the book is disturbed, I fear what would happen to my mother.”
Is this why Mordeus wanted me to steal it? Yes, for the powerful magic, but also because he knows it’s tied to the queen’s life? Is that why Finn wants me to steal it?
I swallow back the uncomfortable lump in my throat. “You really love your mother, don’t you?”
He blinks, and his expression is pained. Conflicted. “I’m not blind to her faults, but she is my mother, and she’s sacrificed so much for our court . . . perhaps even more so for me.”
If I give the book to Mordeus and Arya dies, the curse will be broken and Jas will be safe. But Sebastian will never forgive me. And if Mordeus uses the book to destroy the lives of more innocent fae, I may never forgive myself.
* * *
When the palace staff serves us dinner, I’m still thinking of Finn and the Throne of Shadows and Sebastian’s warnings that whatever Finn keeps in his catacombs will prove his true nature.
“Brie?”
I lift my head at the sound of my name and find Sebastian staring at me across the table. How long has he been waiting for me to answer? Judging by his half-empty plate, I’ve been zoning out for a while.
“Where is that mind of yours?”
I blow out a breath. “I’m so sorry, Sebastian. I’m lost in my thoughts tonight.” I look around the dining room and realize that I haven’t even taken in the details of the romantic dinner that was probably prepared to impress me.
Candles line the table, and day lilies overflow from vases in every corner of the room. I’ve pushed my food around more than eaten it, and I’m more than a little disgusted with myself. The old me would be disgusted too. Not only am I eating mouthwatering dishes while children in the human realm go without, I’m here with Sebastian. How many times before entering the portal did I wish we could have more time together? And it seemed we never were alone. If Jas wasn’t with us, my cousins were close by, ready to report anything they heard or saw to my aunt.
“What are you thinking now?”
“I’m thinking how quickly I’ve come to take these luxuries for granted.” I wave a hand, indicating my plate. “I know better than to disregard the blessing of a full belly, yet after only a few weeks, I can sit here feeding myself and not even taste the delicious flavors. Meanwhile, my sister . . .” My throat squeezes tight at the words.
Sebastian reaches across the table and takes my hand. “Despite all he does to maintain his power, the king is weaker than ever. It’s only a matter of time until we’re close enough to act. I haven’t given up.”
But what happens to us after Jas is safe? I don’t give voice to the question. He’s as eager for an answer as I am, and I don’t have one yet. Do I want to stay with Sebastian? Do I want to live in a castle with the queen who is responsible for the curse and the horrible treatment of the Unseelie in her camps? If what Sebastian says is true and she’s dying, perhaps that means the curse will soon be broken. If her possession of the Grimoricon is the only thing keeping her alive . . .