I swallow. “He knows.”
She tilts her head to the side. “Then why do you look so sad?”
Because I never believed I’d trust a fae prince, let alone two. Because I finally made some friends and found out they were using me. Because I hurt Sebastian and it’s going to be hard to forgive myself for that.
“Brie,” she says, squeezing my hand. “What is it?”
“I don’t think I’m staying in Elora.”
“What? Why? Surely if we leave Fairscape, Gorst won’t—”
“I’ll never be safe here, not so long as I wear this crown.”
“You’re returning to Faerie?”
Weeks ago, I was the one who said the name of the magical realm with disdain and Jas was the one who wanted to go there. Today our roles have reversed.
“I’ll be with Sebastian,” I say, trying to make it sound like I’m not just hiding. “I want to do what I can to . . . help with things there.” I bow my head before risking a look back at her. “Would you go with us?”
Her eyes go wide. Her fear is so palpable I can almost smell it. I can’t blame her. All she knows of Faerie is her experience being a prisoner of the Unseelie Court. “Brie . . .”
“To the Court of the Sun. We would keep you safe.”
Her hands shake harder and harder until her whole body is vibrating with fear. “The things I saw in the dungeons . . . the horrible things I heard—”
“You don’t have to,” I blurt. I hate being the cause of the pain on her face. “I love you so much,” I whisper. “If you need me here, I will stay.”
“I love you too.” She wraps her arms around my waist. “You deserve to be happy, Brie. You’ve worked so hard for so long. You’ve done everything to protect me, and I can’t handle seeing you sacrifice yourself one more time for me.”
“But I don’t want to leave you.”
“Just give me time. I need to stay here awhile, and when I’m better, I’ll join you.” She tries to smile, but the shaky curve of her lips doesn’t hide the lie from either of us.
“I’ll visit you as often as I can,” I say, but I already know it won’t be as often as either of us would like. The hot tears on my cheeks are barely a hint of the grief I feel at telling her goodbye.
There’s a knock at the door, then Nik opens it a crack and sticks her head in. “Brie, it’s time. I’m sorry, honey, but I can’t risk Gorst finding you here.”
I nod but don’t take my eyes off Jas.
“Go,” she says. “I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll miss you every day.”
“Visit me in my dreams like you did when we were kids.” She grins and waves goodbye, but as Sebastian hurries me toward the portal, I remember the old joke. After we moved in with Uncle Devlin, Jas would wake up some mornings and thank me for the adventure I took her on in her dreams. Were they just dreams, or did I have access to that part of my power even as a child in the human realm?
Chapter Thirty-Six
WHEN WE RETURN TO THE GOLDEN PALACE, my mind is still in Fairscape with Jas.
Sebastian escorts me to my room, and when I stop at the door and turn to him, he studies me. “I’ll take you back to see her soon,” he says.
“Thank you, Sebastian.”
“It’s nothing.”
“No, thank you for . . . everything. For standing by me through all this when anyone else would send me away.” I close my eyes. “For forgiving me for taking the book and for . . . understanding the choices I made.”
I feel his fingertips on my chin, sliding along my jaw and into my hair, and when I open my eyes, his are full of anguish. “I love you, Abriella. All that matters to me is that you’re here with me now. We’ll figure out the rest. Together.”
I search his beautiful eyes, his strong yet fine features. “I want to be bonded with you.”
Sebastian swallows, and his eyes widen. “You’re sure?”
I nod. I can’t stop thinking of the Banshee—of death sitting on my chest. Or of the crown that sits on my head and the false king and the Unseelie prince who tried to trick me out of it. The prince who was willing to let me die so he could claim this throne. “Mordeus was right about one thing. As long as this crown is on my head, my life won’t be my own. If it’s not Finn after the crown, it will be another Unseelie. Until we can figure out how to get rid of it safely, I need the bond so you can protect me.”