The room spins. I squeeze my eyes shut to still it, but the smell of blood fills my nose. Seeing it puts me back in that forest again. That wolflike creature lunging toward me. “Barghest? That’s what that thing was?”
“Some call it the death dog.”
“Is it from the Unseelie Court?”
“There are death dogs in all courts, but some of the more powerful Unseelie have them as familiars—animals that have been magically tied to them and can do their unholy bidding.”
Did Mordeus send that Barghest after me? No. That doesn’t make sense. If he truly wants me to retrieve the stolen artifacts for his court, he wouldn’t try to kill me with some mind-linked monster. But Finn . . . Did Finn attack me because I wouldn’t work with him? “Was that one bonded to an Unseelie?”
Sebastian shakes his head. “I don’t know.”
“If those wolves hadn’t shown up . . .” I would have been dead. I catch another whiff of my blood and have to turn my face into the pillow. “I’m sorry . . . Do you have something you could change into?”
He mutters a curse and jumps out of the chair. “Of course. I’m sorry.” He turns his back to me as he works the buttons on his shirt.
“We need to talk,” I say. “About what happens next.”
Sebastian looks over his shoulder and meets my eyes. “You should rest first.”
I shake my head and force myself to sit up. I’ve shown more weakness since coming to Faerie than I have in the last nine years, and it needs to stop now. “I’m fine.”
“You’re still recovering from a major injury. Don’t push it.” He turns to me, bare-chested and . . . beautiful.
The room spins again.
I want to hate him like this—his true self—but despite everything, I still find Sebastian as alluring as I did that first day I saw him training in the courtyard.
I force myself to look away from his sun-kissed skin and sculpted arms. “I’m well enough to talk, I think.” I hear the sound of a drawer opening, and when I turn back to him, he’s pulling a fresh shirt over his head.
I watch as the soft white fabric falls over his perfect golden skin. I hate that this attraction didn’t fade alongside the trust I lost when I found out the truth.
If my emotions were a mess before he rescued me in the woods, they’re a disaster now.
He settles back in the chair by the bed and leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Okay. We can talk, if that’s what you want.”
“You saved me.” I swallow. The memory of my terror is still too close to the surface, and I shove it down. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”
“I didn’t expect you to come at all.”
He flinches, as if I’d just smacked him. Then hangs his head. “I know you don’t like who I am, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
My guts twist. “I don’t like that you lied about who you are.”
His jaw hardens. Blowing out a breath, he smooths back his white hair and ties it with a strap of leather. “When should I have told you? I couldn’t let anyone in Elora know the truth—I’d have been crucified. And by the time we were friends and I knew you well enough to trust you with the information, you’d made it clear how you felt about my home and my kind.” He swallows. “Maybe it was selfish, but I couldn’t stand the idea of giving you up.”
“Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you going to lie to me forever? Was that the real reason you begged me not to go after Jas? Because you didn’t want me learning the truth?”
“I wanted to tell you. So many times. But my reasons for wanting you to stay on your side of the portal were honest. This is a dangerous place for you.” His gaze drops to my leg, and even though I’m healed, in clean clothes, and covered by blankets, I know he’s seeing the damage the Barghest did. “Do you see now? Do you understand why it terrifies me to have you wandering around my world looking for your sister?”
When he lifts his eyes back to mine, I hold his gaze. “I won’t abandon her.”
“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to allow me to find her.” When I don’t answer, he takes my hand and squeezes my fingers against his palm. “I’ve canceled my obligations for the day, and after you get some sleep, I’ll be escorting you home.”
I jerk my hand away. “No.”
“You could have died tonight. How would that’ve helped Jas?” He shakes his head. “When I find her, don’t make me tell her that she’s lost her only family.”