“Bonding? What’s romantic about controlling someone?”
He tips his head to the side, and his brow furrows. “Why do you think it’s about control?”
“Isn’t bonding the way you imprison your slaves?”
He shakes his head. “None of my servants have been bonded to me. And while some fae have used the bond to lock humans into lifetimes of servitude, it was never intended to be used like that. Faeries have incorporated the bonding ceremony into their weddings since the beginning of time. Its origins are pure. Life-bonded fae have a sense of each other at all times. It’s a heightened empathy that allows you to know when your partner is in danger or hurting. Bonded fae spouses are conscious of each other’s needs always. They feel each other’s pain and happiness like it’s their own. It’s quite beautiful, really.”
“But that’s not what happens when you’re bonded to a human.”
He rocks back on his heels and sighs. “The first faeries to bond with humans didn’t know that it would be different. But you’re right. It is. Humans aren’t magical, so the bond is more like a one-way street. The human partner doesn’t have the awareness of the other side of the bond the way a faerie would.”
“And it gives faeries a degree of control over their humans,” I say, unwilling to let him keep that piece unspoken. I shake my head. “I can’t imagine why anyone would allow that.”
“They can’t control them the way you think. The human still has free will, but faeries who don’t respect the bond have certainly used it to compel their humans.”
“That sounds like control to me.”
“But it’s not.” He rubs the back of his neck, thinking. “Imagine that I want you to sleep. If we were bonded, I couldn’t force you to, but I could mentally do the equivalent of turning off the lights and wrapping you in a warm blanket. You still get to choose whether or not to close your eyes.”
“What if your bride-to-be doesn’t want the bond?”
He gives me a sad smile and holds my gaze as he touches my cheek. My skin tingles beneath his callused fingertips. “I think I’m looking at the only woman under this roof who would refuse to be bonded with me.”
Does he want me to apologize for that? Does he expect me to change the way I feel about everything just because he’s not who he pretended to be?
But he doesn’t seem to need an answer, because he goes on. “It can still be beautiful—even between a faerie and a human. It’s about protecting someone who’s a piece of you. It’s a gift that makes you the best partner possible by heightening your awareness of their . . . needs.”
His gaze dips to the neckline of my nightgown, and my cheeks heat.
“It means a lot to you,” I say.
“It does. And after my bride has children, she will drink the Potion of Life, and the bond will work between us as it does between any two faeries.”
“The Potion of Life?”
“That’s the special magic we use to transform humans into fae. They become immortal. Surely you’ve heard of it.”
I have, but I figured it was just another legend to convince humans to put their trust in capitalizing faeries. “What if your bride doesn’t want to be a faerie?”
“Then I suppose I’ll have to decide if I truly want her as my bride. It would be no easy thing to watch and feel my life-bonded partner die, knowing that I have centuries of life ahead of me.” He straightens and backs away. “I’ll take you to bed. You have an early start tomorrow.”
Chapter Twelve
LIVING IN THE CASTLE IS STRANGE. It should feel like a dream come true. Every day I am pampered, fed delicious foods, and dressed in beautiful gowns. Though I continue to try to convince my servants to find me pants, there’s no real need for them amid this luxury. At night I sleep in a warm bed covered by the softest blankets.
I’ve never known a life like this and never thought I would, but I can’t enjoy it. Every day that I fail to find the mirror is another day my sister is locked away. The king says she’s safe, but what does he consider safe?
I’ve been at the castle for five nights, and despite the splendor, I’m ready to crawl out of my skin. I go to meals with the other girls, take dancing lessons, listen to long lectures about the history of the Seelie Court and the crimes of the lawless Unseelie. In short, I do what I must to continue this charade of being a potential bride while using every free moment to search for ways into the queen’s chambers. I observe the guards and the comings and goings of the servants.