He narrows his eyes, as if the answer is out there in the dark and he need only focus to see it.
“Does it feel difficult?”
I huff. “Always having to cut myself off from his emotions? The constant distraction of feeling what he’s feeling and the vigilance necessary to keep my shields up?” I sigh. “Difficult. Exhausting.
Yes.”
“Hmm.” He squeezes the back of his neck. “You’re shielding against your bonded partner?
Interesting.”
I glare at him so hard I can’t believe he doesn’t shrink from the force of it. “It’s not your business.”
“I don’t think it’s supposed to be a hardship. Ideally, it would be a comfort, but you two . . .”
“Were cursed from the start?”
He huffs out a laugh. “It’s complicated, I guess.” He looks down at his arms. The sleeves of his black tunic have been rolled to his elbows, exposing his strong forearms and the rune markings covering them. “Not that I’d really know.”
I study the tattoos on his arms and then the ones peeking out from his collar. Since I’ve seen him shirtless, I know there are many, many more where those came from, and each represents a unique bond. “Are any of them alive?” I ask. “Or were they all tributes from the time of the curse?”
He blows out a breath. “I never saw the point in bonding to my servants. And of course the moment I bonded with the tributes . . .”
“They died,” I finish.
He nods.
“And what about Isabel?”
He flinches. “She was the first human I killed.” His voice is so low I can barely hear the words.
“The first human whose life force I got to feel pumping through my veins.”
I want to be disgusted, but there’s something in his expression that only makes me feel sorry. “But you loved her?”
His eyes connect with mine. They’re haunted. “I did,” he says. “So don’t ever fool yourself into thinking love is enough, Princess. Maybe that’s true where you come from, but it couldn’t be further from the truth in this godsforsaken place.”
I open my mouth to argue, but I’m cut off when Kane rushes onto the terrace.
“Word has arrived from the Unseelie palace,” he says.
I squeeze my eyes shut, hating the interruption but feeling grateful for it at the same time. I wish my feelings for Finn weren’t so conflicted. I wish I could simply slot the shadow prince into the “enemy” category in my brain, the way I did with Mordeus, and move on, but no matter how much I try to convince myself he’s no better than his evil uncle, my heart refuses to believe it.
“There are riots outside the palace,” Kane says.
Finn frowns. “In response to what?”
“Prince Ronan ordered the Midnight Raiders to move into the mountains, and let’s just say they weren’t open to the golden prince stepping into a position of authority. Reports say they want his head.”
“Well, that’s convenient,” Finn mutters.
I gasp at Finn. “Are you serious?”
Kane turns those creepy red eyes on me. “I thought you loathed the golden one. Didn’t he deceive you?”
“That doesn’t mean I want him dead, ” I snap.
“We wouldn’t be in this mess if he were,” Kane mutters, and I glare at him. He turns his attention back to Finn. “For the time being, his guard is keeping them at bay, but the crowd grows. They’re demanding to see their true king.”
At least now I understand what I felt from Sebastian earlier. His worry was undoubtedly in response to the riots.
Finn grimaces. “Whoever the fuck that is,” he mutters.
“They want you on that throne,” Kane says.
“What can we do?” I ask.
“We?” Finn asks.
I turn up my palms. “Surely this isn’t what you want—seeing your own court descend into chaos.”
“What I want, Princess, is to repair the damage Mordeus did to my home over the last two decades. What I want is for the parents of the sleeping children to be able to see their bright eyes again. I want to figure out how to fix this before we lose more children to the Long Sleep, before every member of the next generation of my court is lost, trapped in their own slumber.”
“They want you, ” I say softly. “That’s what Misha told me. He said that many silently supported you through Mordeus’s rule and that if you and Sebastian formed an alliance, if you worked together, the majority of the court would be united.”