“And now that you were kicked out of the playoffs, you have all the time in the world to dedicate to your baby.” He smiles, but it’s a pompous smile. The type of smile that would get your jersey pulled over your head by the opposing team if you were on the ice. “And of course, Penny, you look amazing.” He places his hand on her stomach, and I know that’s his job, but that doesn’t mean I need to like it.
We know she looks amazing. We don’t need you moving your hands all over her.
“Thank you so much. I feel pretty great. I know all the books say the second trimester is the best, and I really feel like that’s the case with me.”
Hand still on her stomach, he asks, “Are you experiencing a heightened libido?”
How is that an appropriate question?
“Do we need to talk about that?” I ask. “Maybe we can just, you know, get on with the baby X-ray thing.”
Big Pecs looks at me and says, “I know this is your first appointment, but it is common and necessary to talk about everything significant that pertains to her pregnancy, including heightened libido, breast growth, and anything else that might make you uncomfortable. And it’s not a baby X-ray. It’s a sonogram.”
Uh-huh . . . I don’t like this guy.
Penny takes my hand, probably sensing my agitation, and gives it a squeeze before saying, “I have had an increase in libido. Lately, it seems like I can’t get enough. I’m very aroused most of the time.”
So we’re, uh . . . we’re talking about it.
“Has Eli been able to keep up?”
“Yes,” I nearly shout and then realize the volume of my voice. “I mean, yes. Of course I’ve been able to keep up.”
Big Pecs eyes me very seriously before turning back to Penny. “Well, if he can’t, there are ways to get your needs met.”
“I can keep up,” I say with an edge, leaning in closer to Penny now. “Very much capable of taking care of her . . . uh . . . arousal.” I cringe saying the word out loud in such a sterile environment.
“Please, I’d like to hear from Penny.” His goddamn hand is STILL on her stomach. “Is he able to make you orgasm?”
“What kind of question is that?” I interrupt once again. “Of course I can make her orgasm.”
Big Pecs holds his hand up. “First of all, it’s a very important question. It would do her no service if she isn’t able to orgasm. And secondly, I’d like to hear from Penny because even though you might think she has an orgasm, she could be faking it.”
She’s not fucking faking.
I can feel her pussy convulsing around my cock.
Her pussy is always dripping wet.
She nearly kicked me in the face the other night when I was going down on her because her orgasm was so strong.
She’s fucking satisfied, you slicked-back, shirt-too-small prick.
“I’m not faking anything,” Penny says, holding my hand even tighter. “Honestly, I’ve had the best sex of my life with Eli. I’m completely and utterly satisfied. Nothing to worry about on that front.”
“Good,” Big Pecs says while giving me some serious side-eye.
Hear that, motherfucker . . . my girl is satisfied, so go take your goddamn side-eye somewhere else.
Honestly, what is this guy’s problem? Because I couldn’t come to some appointments, he’s going to be a dick? How unprofessional.
Someone is going to get a riveting Google AND Yelp review after this.
Big Pecs is incredibly intrusive, obsessed with holding pregnant bellies, and has a poppyseed tooth. Bedside manner is lacking, shirts far too small for his monster truck chest, and shows blatant hate toward hockey, which is a sin in Vancouver. One out of ten: would not recommend him.
We spend the next few minutes talking about other pregnancy things while I watch his hand move over her belly, smoothing, gliding . . . stroking. The back of my teeth grinds down out of pure, jealous rage. Call me crazy, but I think Big Pecs has it out for me.
Maybe he thinks I’m some deadbeat baby daddy. That could not be further from the truth. I want to meet our baby. And I’ve formed a bond with Penny that I never expected, never believed was possible. Especially for me.
“Okay, so you two want to find out the sex of the baby?” Big Pecs asks.
“We do,” Penny answers, looking me in the eyes. “Right?”
“Right,” I answer.
“Well, I don’t believe you should find out, so I’m going to hold on to that information.” He sets down the sonogram thing in his hand and stands. “You both have a good day.”