“Say fine one more time,” Penny seethes at me, nostrils flared, looking like she’s ready to eat me alive.
Oh, did I mention that she’s gained that crazy back again? Yeah, in full force. The sadness seems to be slowly fading away, and in its place, she’s starting to show her—to put it nicely—third-trimester self.
Big Pecs sets his hand on her arm and says, “Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Fine . . . he won’t use an anal plug on me.”
“Jesus . . . Christ,” I mutter as I drag my hand over my face.
“Oh, I see. And is there a reason?”
Penny rolls her eyes. “Says he doesn’t want to hurt me, that he doesn’t have enough experience. I told him to read a fucking book and just shove it up there. Still won’t do it. And I’m telling you, Doc, I’ve never wanted something more in my entire life.”
He nods, understanding written all over his face. “I can understand the craving for something different in your sex life. Maybe find something you’re both comfortable doing.”
“I told him I’m sure I could find someone on Craigslist who could help.”
“And I told you that’s not a goddamn option,” I hiss at her.
Gesturing to me, she says, “See what I’m dealing with?”
“Penny, I think you’re starting to enter the anxious phase of pregnancy, and instead of dealing with those feelings, you’re trying to fill them with other things, like sex. Let me ask you, how many times are you two sharing sexual intercourse?”
“Not nearly enough.” She folds her arms with defiance.
“Three to five times a day,” I answer.
“Wait . . . a day?” Big Pecs asks.
“Yes,” I say, exasperated.
“Told you not nearly enough,” Penny says.
Big Pecs clears his throat and shifts on his chair. “Penny, three to five times a day is more than enough. The most I’ve actually heard.”
“See.” I poke her. “Told you.”
“What does he know?” Penny motions to Big Pecs, who is literally two feet away from her.
“Uh, he’s a doctor.”
“Just a title.”
Fuck, she’s in a mood today. Although, I’d take this Penny over sad Penny any day.
Big Pecs and I exchange a look, and then he stands from his chair. “Well, I don’t know what to say to you other than good luck. If you do decide to use an anal plug—”
“We won’t,” I say.
“Oh, we will,” Penny adds.
“Then please just be careful. Other than that, the baby is measuring great. Call me if there are any problems.”
“Thank you,” I say while Penny stays silent.
When the door clicks shut, she turns to me. “Let’s do it here.”
“Let’s do what here?” I ask.
“The sex.”
“What? No, Penny.”
“Oh, it will be really quick. You shoot off early sometimes.”
“That was one fucking time, and it was because you put a vibrator against my balls. I wasn’t prepared for that sensation.”
“Well, guess what I have in my purse?”
“Jesus,” I groan. “No, Penny. We’re not having sex in the doctor’s office when anyone could walk in.”
“Isn’t that the thrill of it?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Not even a little. I have a reputation to maintain, and I can’t be found with my pants down at my ankles, fucking my girlfriend in the doctor’s office.”
“Wait . . .” She slowly sits up, and I offer her some help as she maneuvers with her belly. “Did you just . . . did you just call me your girlfriend?”
I think back to what I said, and hell . . . I did. It just slipped out.
“Uh, yeah. I did. Is that okay?”
Tears well up in her eyes. “Eli, you called me your girlfriend.” She takes my hand and pulls me between her legs. “Your actual girlfriend.” The smile that stretches across her face is so beautiful that I have a really hard time looking away.
I press a kiss on her forehead. “You’re mine, right?”
“I hope so.”
“Then yeah, you’re my girlfriend.”
Her teeth roll over her bottom lip. “And you’re not just saying that?”
“Do you think I’m the type of guy who would just say something for the hell of it? There is meaning behind my words, Penny. You should know that by now.”