“I moved in with Penny.”
“Uh, did Pacey watch over you the entire time?”
I shake my head just as the locker room door opens and Pacey walks in. His eyes land on me as he walks toward his locker, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he grabs a hair tie for his hair from his locker and then heads back out toward the training room, where I’m sure he’s getting his legs rolled out and prepped.
“Wow, that was fucking chilly.” Posey smacks me in the chest.
“Hey, what the fuck was that for?”
“For clearly ruining the equilibrium in our fivesome. What were you thinking sleeping with Penny?”
“I wasn’t,” I say, now staring down at my stick. “I’ve wanted her since the first day I met her, and I kept that under control for two years. There was something that night with her, something that snapped within me, and no matter what I said to myself, it wasn’t going to stop me.” I look up at Posey now. “And she wanted me too.”
“It was stupid and careless. Pacey has said on multiple occasions that she was off limits.”
“I know,” I groan. “There is no use talking about it now. It already happened. Can’t change the past.”
“But what are you doing to fix it now?”
“Taking responsibility,” I answer. “I’ll be damned if Pacey has to even think twice about whether or not I’m in this.”
“Is that why you moved in with her? And she was okay with that?”
“Apprehensive at first, but she accepted my reasoning, and honestly, she looks just as terrified as I am. I don’t think she wants to be alone, so she said yes. I offered to sleep on the couch, but she said I could sleep in her bed.”
“Really?” Posey’s eyes widen. “Are you, you know . . . starting something up?”
I shake my head. “No, neither of us want to be in a relationship. She made that really clear the night we hooked up. But we did agree on being friends.”
“That’s good. So you’re friendly.”
“Eh, not really.” I snap the tape apart and smooth down the edge. “It was incredibly awkward last night. She showed me around, and then since it was late, we just got ready for bed.”
“And how was sharing the bed?”
“Just as comfortable as you’d imagine it would be. I almost think I’d have gotten a better night’s sleep on her sofa with my feet hanging off the edge. I kept waking up to make sure I wasn’t on her side or hogging the blankets. I barely got any sleep at all. And then she woke up early this morning feeling nauseous, so I sat next to her while she held a bucket. We didn’t really speak. It’s a real fucking one-eighty from how our one-night stand went.” Despite how awkward it started and how nervous Penny was, it had been the most fun I’d had with a woman in forever. I’d felt relaxed as if I could be myself without the expectation to be the super-god hockey player most women expect me to be. I was just Eli. But that’s possibly too deep to share with Posey right now. I glance around to make sure no one is listening in and lower my voice. “I’ve been inside the woman, I’ve kissed her all over her body, yet being with her now in her place feels like I’m rooming with a complete stranger.”
“Then maybe you find a way to get to know her better. You have a long way to go before that baby is born, so you need to find a way to make it work.”
“I know. I just don’t know how. It’s like dating someone you have no intention of actually dating. The small talk, the get to know you crap, the sharing . . . it’s not my strong suit.”
“You share with the people you care about. Don’t forget that,” Posey says just as the door to the locker room opens and Taters walks in with Holmes. When he spots me, a huge smile spreads across his face.
Oh hell . . .
“You know, for the longest time, I thought I was the one who was going to be the screwup of the group,” Taters says. “It was bound to happen, but here I am, completely outdone by the resident nice guy.” Taters claps. “Getting Pacey’s sister pregnant. Wow, man.”
“Can you shut the fuck up?” I hiss at him. “Jesus Christ, we’re not telling anyone.”
Halsey Holmes, the quiet but thoughtful one of our group, pushes Taters, and says, “I told you not to fucking say anything.”
“I didn’t listen.”
“Clearly.” Holmes takes a seat next to me, and asks, “You good?”