Eli: Yes, because the first time was a real conversation starter.
Penny: LOL. It would have made me laugh, and that would have started the conversation.
Eli: Noted, so whenever you are mad at me, I’ll be sure to throw it back to the apple day, and let you know that, in fact, I ate one.
Penny: It’s a brilliant tactic. I might use it if needed.
Eli: I can guarantee you, if you texted me tonight, “I ate an apple” I would have 100 percent thought everything was good between us.
Penny: Well, I’m glad we have established that.
Eli: Very glad . . . so where do we go from here?
Penny: I sort of have an idea, but if it’s stupid, you need to tell me, and we can think of something else.
Eli: Let me hear it.
Penny: Let’s simply ask questions as if we’re new friends.
Eli: So we tell each other something the other person might not know?
Penny: Sure. You start.
Eli: Okay, I have to have five gummy bears before every game, home or away. Posey makes sure I’m always fully stocked up.
Penny: Is that why you had that bag with you when you came to my office?
Eli: Yeah, Posey brought it to me.
Penny: When did you start doing it?
Eli: When I was young before my mom died. The last game she saw me play, she gave me gummy bears before the game, and I had one of the best games of my childhood.
Penny: Why the number five?
Eli: Five was her favorite number.
Penny: That’s really sweet, Eli.
Eli: Yeah, I keep it pretty close to me. Please don’t use it as something to promote the team.
Penny: Anything you say to me outside of the stadium is personal. Please know that. I’d never take your personal life and spread it to the fans without your permission.
Eli: You don’t seem like that kind of person, but I figured I’d say it anyway. So what’s your thing?
Penny: When I helped Pacey with his practices, I used to purposely shoot the puck at his crotch because I thought it was funny when he’d miss, and it would hit him. I enjoyed watching him crumple despite having protection.
Eli: LOLOL WHAT? You’d try to hit him in the dick on purpose? Seems like a recurring theme with you.
Penny: Of course. Isn’t that what little sisters are supposed to do?
Eli: Is that why they were created? To wreak havoc on their brothers’ junk?
Penny: Yup. Aren’t you glad you don’t have a little sister?
Eli: For the sake of my balls . . . yes. Were you always a terror?
Penny: I want to say no. I want to tell you that I was the picture-perfect little sister, but that would be lying. I wasn’t even close. I made Pacey’s life hell. Sure, I helped him with hockey, but when we put the sticks down, I made it my mission to make him miserable.
Eli: If my relationship with him wasn’t so rocky, I’d ask you for tips on how to drive him crazy.
Penny: Things still bad with him?
Eli: I wouldn’t say bad, just not the same. I’ll say this, defending you on the ice won me some points. He at least talks to me now. Thinking about taking him out for a beer tomorrow night. What do you think? Should I ask him out?
Penny: Not sure you’re his type.
Eli: Maybe if I find a long blonde wig, something that looks like Winnie’s hair, he might give me a chance.
Penny: Now there’s an idea. If it helps, he barely talks to me too.
Eli: That doesn’t help. I don’t want him mad at you.
Penny: It wouldn’t be the first time. We always work through it.
Eli: Not the first time you’ve slept with one of his teammates?
Penny: No, I’ve never done that. You are the first and only. I meant the first time we’ve been in a fight. When it came to Pacey and his teammates, I’ve always been off limits. He never wanted to mix the two. Plus, he always said hockey players are horny assholes and I deserved better.
Eli: We are horny, and we can be assholes. He might be onto something. The horny, though, that comes from adrenaline. After a game, it’s hard to shake that high off, you know?
Penny: Unless I’m completely na?ve, what have you been doing to shake it off now? （assuming you’re not having sex with anyone）
Eli: You’re assuming correctly. I’m not doing much to shake the adrenaline. And the last person I had sex with was you, and if I were being completely frank, it’s because you rocked my world that night, and it was hard to forget.
Penny: You were drunk.
Eli: I wasn’t.
My teeth roll over my bottom lip as I stare at his text. His confirmation.
I rocked his world?
Me?
Penny Lawes.