For a moment of peace, where I can take a deep breath and focus on the things that matter—preparing for this baby and how I’m going to handle being a father and a hockey player come next season.
From the kitchen, I go to sit on the couch but stop from the figure standing just outside the hallway.
“Jesus,” I breathe out. “You scared me, Penny.”
“Sorry, I was thirsty.”
I walk up to her and hand her my water. “Here, take mine.”
“Thank you.” She takes a sip before lowering the glass. “What are you going to do out here?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Think. I just don’t want to lie in bed when I know I’m going to toss and turn until I can calm down.”
“Want company?” The way she asks, standing there in her matching pink flannel pajamas, she looks so goddamn cute, it would be hard to turn her away.
“Not if you’re tired. I don’t want to keep you up.”
“You won’t,” she says as she takes my hand in hers and moves me toward the small couch.
I forgot just how small she is up until this moment, when my palm connects with hers, my hand eclipsing hers. She fits . . . perfectly.
We both take a seat on the small loveseat that she calls a couch, and whereas I sit down with my back to the back cushions, she leans against the armrest and stretches her legs over my lap. It shows how comfortable she is with me now.
“Is that okay?” she asks.
“Yeah, you’re good,” I say. “Do you want a blanket?”
“Sure,” she answers before taking another sip of water.
I grab the draped blanket from over the arm of the chair, unfold it, and place it over our laps.
“Good?” I ask.
“Yeah.” She smiles and hands me the water.
Still thirsty, I take a drink, then hold it between my two hands.
“I know this is normal, you know,” she says. “Being wired after a game. Needing to release some of the pressure and adrenaline. I have been around hockey for years.”
“Well, I’ve never truly found a way to calm down that works for me other than . . .” fucking. But I am not saying that.
“Other than what?” But, of course, she won’t let that go.
I let out a heavy sigh and say, “Other than sex.”
“Oh.” She chuckles. “Well, as I said, you’re welcome to go take care of that need.”
“And as I said, that won’t be happening.”
“So that’s why you’re wired right now, trying to find a new solution to the energy?”
“Exactly,” I answer. “Calmly sitting is what I’m going with tonight.”
“Sounds riveting.”
“Maybe a conversation might help. If you want to join in, we could get into some heavy stuff that will make us both not want to sleep,” I joke.
“I think I’m good with not talking about the heavy stuff at the moment, especially since I’m half awake.” She rests her head on the back of the couch. “Tell me what you’d be doing right now if you weren’t stuck sharing a blanket with a pregnant woman.”
I shake my head. “You don’t want to know what I’d be doing.”
“I really do.” She smirks. “Give me the dirty details. I want to hear all about it.”
I scratch the side of my jaw and figure, why the hell not? We’ve been honest about everything else between us, so why not this?
“Well, I’d be dressed in a suit still, not comfortable five-year-old sweatpants. And I’d probably be at one of my favorite bars, the one where I saw you on my birthday being one of them. I’d either have Posey or one of the other guys with me, and I’d be looking for someone to take home.”
“I just don’t see Levi as someone who trolls the bars looking for someone to sleep with.”
“He’s the most deceiving one out of all of us. He has this innocent, goofy, outward appearance, but he also has a real dirty side to him. He’s gotten blow jobs in the locker room before.”
“What?” Her eyes widen in surprise. “You’re talking about sweet, bologna-eating Levi Posey?”
“Yup,” I answer. “He has everyone on the outside fooled, but the guy is a real player. And I mean that in the nicest way possible because he’s super respectful, but the guy gets a lot of action. You just don’t hear about it at all.”
“No, you only hear about your action.” She smirks.
“Which has been absolutely abolished thanks to you.” I squeeze her leg so she knows I’m teasing.