‘Ziggy, no!’ Livi is alarmed that he might blame himself for her nightly grief. She takes his face in her hands. ‘I don’t want to cry every night, but the tears are for Mumma, for her house in Vranov. I can’t seem to get past that day when that pig threw us out of our home.’
Ziggy looks confused, but also a little relieved. ‘You’re upset about a house?’
‘I know it sounds crazy, after everything else. But when I close my eyes at night, I see Mumma cooking in the kitchen, making the beds, sitting in her chair.’
‘Livi, it’s OK. I just needed to understand.’
Livi wants this marriage to be perfect. Was Ziggy right to worry? Is it stupid to think that two survivors might be happy together? She shakes this thought away. They are making a life for themselves. Didn’t they just get married?
‘I hope I don’t cry for ever,’ says Livi, in a small voice. ‘I’m sorry, Ziggy.’
‘I told you once before to never apologise to me, Livi. Cry all you want, but one day I hope I’ll make you happy enough to forget about the house in Vranov, or at least for the memory to be less painful.’ He stands up and holds out a hand to Livi. ‘Now, let’s go and see your sisters before Cibi goes home,’ he says.
Livi is immediately excited. ‘Do you really want to?’
‘I want to.’
*
Arriving home after her first day back at work, Livi is delighted to find her husband sitting outside the hut with a meal on the rickety table donated to them by Saadiya.
‘I have news,’ he announces, as Livi sits down. ‘My boss called me in today to tell me I’ve got the job I applied for at El Al, and I’ve been promoted.’
‘Promoted?’ Livi asks, spearing a green bean. ‘To what?’
‘You are looking at the technical manager of a new fleet of Constellation aircraft.’
Livi swallows. ‘Ziggy, that’s .?.?. that’s amazing.’
‘And more money, Livi. Soon I will be able to give you windows.’
A month later, Magda and Yitzchak help Livi and Ziggy move into their new apartment just a few blocks from their own. It is the home Livi never allowed herself to dream of.
‘I saw a lovely sofa on sale in a shop in Tel Aviv,’ Ziggy tells her. Livi is pushing a wayward spring back into the ageing sofa given to them by a neighbour.
‘Do we need a new sofa?’ Livi is grinning. She doesn’t care about the furniture. She is delighted by everything, whether it’s second hand – and most of it is – or new.
‘You never complain, Livi. We have so little, and yet you never complain.’
‘I have everything that matters,’ Livi tells him.
‘That’s what I love about you.’
‘Is that all that you love about me?’
‘I love everything about you.’
CHAPTER 32
Rehovot
1954
T
wo years later, on the day that Livi’s first child is born, she and Ziggy make a vow to tell baby Oded their stories, and more importantly, how they survived to share this part of themselves with him.
‘It’s so sad, though,’ Livi muses. ‘But to know us, he must know what happened to us.’
‘Livi,’ says Ziggy. ‘Our baby was born just yesterday and last night was the first time you haven’t cried yourself to sleep. Do you know why?’
Livi is quiet, thoughtful. Oded nurses at her breast, even though she’s not sure her milk has come in yet. ‘I do, Ziggy. I think it’s because I’m a mother now. I will always miss Mumma, but last night I felt her beginning a new journey, that she was guiding me to become the mother she was. Our house is gone, but Mumma isn’t. She’s bigger than the house in Vranov. This baby is bigger.’
*
When Oded is a month old, the sisters meet in Livi’s apartment. Their husbands are at work and the children are happy enough, racing through the flat as they play hide and seek.
Magda is heavily pregnant with her second child.
‘I hope it’s a girl,’ she says. ‘I like the idea of two girls.’
‘I hear you,’ laughs Cibi. ‘My boys are driving me crazy.’ Karol and Joseph are screaming at Chaya to come out from her hiding place.
‘You’re quiet, Livi. Still exhausted?’ Magda asks her sister.
‘I’m OK, I’m just thinking about someone.’
‘From the camp?’ asks Cibi.
‘From the camp, yes. The girl I was with in the hospital.’