“I know that if you had found some other option, you would have taken it. You’re not going to achieve anything by tormenting yourself this way. Now we just have to wait and have faith that everything will be all right . . . that he’ll be all right.”
I look her straight in the eye.
“How can you be so sure?”
She gives me a sincere smile. “I just know. You’ve been through a lot; I think you deserve a break. Your grandfather is going to be fine.”
Unable to control myself, I pull her to me and hug her, burying my face in her neck. Her scent calms me. I want to stay like this. She lets me hold her and caresses the back of my head.
It’s liberating to tell someone how you feel, letting it out takes some of the weight off your shoulders, like you’re sharing the pain. I take a deep breath, burying my face even further into her neck.
I don’t know how long we stay like this until she finally pulls away from me, still on my lap. I want to protest, but I don’t. Instead, my fingers gently trace her face.
“You’re so cute,” I say, watching her blush.
The back of her hand caresses my cheek.
“You’re cute too.”
A pleasant sensation fills my chest. So this is what it’s like to be happy. This moment is perfect: the rain beating against the window, her hand on my face, our eyes having a conversation so deep that words could never match it. I never thought that I would have something like this. I thought that love was an excuse to let someone else hurt you. Yet here I am, letting her in, and my fear has diminished, overshadowed by this warm feeling.
I lick my lips, observing every detail of her face. I want to memorize it, so that when she’s gone, I can remember her. The sound of the rain mixes with her soft breathing, and my heartbeat echoes in my ears. I open my mouth and say it before I even finish thinking about it.
“I love you.”
Her eyes widen in surprise, and her hand stops on my cheek. I know she wasn’t expecting it because I wasn’t either. The words were out of my mouth before I could control them. She lowers her hand, hesitation and indecision clear on her face.
“It’s okay, don’t feel pressured to answer me,” I assure her, faking a smile. “The last thing I want to do is pressure you.”
“Ares . . . I . . .”
I take her face and lean into her, giving her a kiss on the cheek and then moving closer to her ear.
“I said it’s okay, Witch.” My breath on her skin makes her shiver, and I enjoy it.
When I pull away, she still seems hesitant, squirming against me, and I give her my best smile, squeezing her hips.
“Don’t move so much, there’s a limit to what I can handle.” The blood rushes to her face, and she looks down.
“Pervert.”
“Beautiful.”
She looks at me again, red as a tomato, and stands up. My thighs feel cold without her closeness. What the hell is wrong with me? It’s like I’m desperate for her attention and affection. Who knew that I’d be begging a girl and telling her I love her without getting an answer.
I snort, laughing at myself.
I remember Raquel’s words that night at Artemis’s bar after she turned me on and left: Karma is a bitch, Greek God. Oh yes, it is. Raquel picks up our cups from the floor and sets them on the computer table before she turns and gives me a quizzical look.
“What are you laughing at?”
“At myself,” I say openly, standing up.
“It’s late,” she whispers, crossing her arms over her chest. I feel her becoming defensive, careful even, and I can’t blame her. She’s afraid I’ll hurt her again.
“Do you want me to leave?” I’m surprised by the fear in my voice. She just looks at me without saying anything, so I clear my throat. “It’s okay.” I walk to the window and see that the rain has stopped, but it’s still drizzling.
“Ares. . . . Wait.”
I turn to her again, she’s leaning on the computer table, her arms still crossed over her chest.
“Huh?”
“You can . . . stay,” she says softly. “But no . . .”
“Sex,” I finish for her. Raquel opens her mouth to say something, but instead she closes it and just nods.
I can’t help the relief that runs through my body. I don’t want to leave, and her company is more than enough for me. Although being with her in a bed is a temptation that I may find hard to handle, I’ll do my best.
Her dog stretches out in front of the window, while Raquel tosses the pillows on the bed aside, making room for both of us. She lies down, getting under the covers, and I do the same, lying on my side to watch her. Her bed smells of her, and it’s so comforting. She lies on her back with her gaze on the ceiling.