I waved again. “It’s so nice to see you, Claire.”
“Well, it’s nice to see such a handsome young man!”
Lucinda laughed. “He’s not that young.”
I interjected, “But I am that handsome.”
“He’s so handsome! My, my! Oho! Oho!”
I laughed, my spirits lifting. I tried not to think about the future or the way her illness would end. I tried not to think about the past because there was Allison. Death was everywhere, in the present, in the past, in the future. I wondered why we bothered with time at all.
Lucinda motioned to Ethan. “Mom, your grandson Ethan is here. He would like to say hello to you, too.”
Ethan hurried over, grinning and turning his head sideways, being goofy. “Hey Muggy, it’s Ethan! Your grandson—” he started to say, but grimaced. “Why does she have Allison’s doll?”
I touched his arm. “Ignore it,” I whispered, realizing he didn’t know about the doll.
My mother-in-law blinked, frowning. “My Jo is gone. I don’t see my Jo.”
Ethan managed a smile. “No, I’m Ethan, your grandson Ethan. My name is Ethan.”
Lucinda touched his hand. “Ethan, Jo is what she calls her hand lotion. She calls it Jo.”
“What? Why does she call it a name?”
“It’s by Jo Malone.”
Ethan’s face fell, and I took his hand. He didn’t know about the lotion, either. The doctors had told us that we should provide sensory experiences for my mother-in-law, so Lucinda bought lavender hand cream, since my mother-in-law used to grow lavender at the Cape. It had been a big hit, so Lucinda had bought lavender body lotion, a pillow, a candle, and sachets, which I hadn’t even known existed. My wife didn’t believe less was more.
Lucinda was saying, “Mom, your Jo is usually on your bureau in the front.”
Ethan tried to smile. “I’m Ethan,” he said, but my mother-in-law wasn’t looking, turning to the left.
“I don’t see it. I don’t know where it is. I don’t see my Jo.”
“Muggy?” Ethan said, his voice wavering, and I put my arms around him, trying to sit him down on my lap, but he resisted, stiffening. “Muggy, it’s me!”
Lucinda was saying, “Mom, look under the lamp on the bureau.”
“I don’t see it. I don’t know where it is.” My mother-in-law was tugging her hair again. The doll dropped, but she didn’t notice.
“Muggy, it’s Ethan your grandson!” Ethan tried again, but when my mother-in-law didn’t react, he turned away. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
My mother-in-law was tugging her hair, her forehead buckling. “I think that girl took my Jo. She takes things! She takes everything!”
“What girl do you mean?” Lucinda kept her smile on, for show. We knew other patients in Memory Care had delusions the staff was stealing.
“She took my Jo!”
“Special Agent Lingermann?” Lucinda asked, raising her voice. “Do you see a bottle of Jo Malone anywhere? It should be on the bureau in the front.”
“No,” Special Agent Lingermann answered, offscreen.
“She took my Jo! She took everything!”
“Special Agent Lingermann, how about the night table?”
“There’s nothing like that on the night table, the desk, or the bureau.”
Lucinda nodded. “Mom, is Susan there today?”
“Susan? I don’t know her.”
Lucinda frowned with concern, and I read her mind. Susan was my mother-in-law’s favorite nurse. We didn’t know if my mother-in-law had forgotten her or if she was just too agitated right now. We both looked for details that could signal deterioration.
Lucinda said, “Mom, you love Susan. She has short hair. She’s usually there today.”
“I don’t know.”
I understood my mother-in-law’s confusion. The nurses’ schedule was so chopped up and hard to keep straight. Susan came on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, Linda came on Wednesdays and Fridays, and there was a roving nurse on Mondays and Sundays, whose name even I forgot, not to mention night nurses. Bay Horse tried to keep the staff regular in Memory Care, but they could only do so much.
“Special Agent Lingermann, can you find out what’s going on? Go ask someone, where’s her lotion and special book?”
“Mrs. Bennett, I don’t know if I should do that.”
“Dom?” I looked over at Dom, who nodded. “Dom says it’s okay.”
“Okay, be right back.” Special Agent Lingermann nodded, then left.
“I don’t like this,” my mother-in-law said, frowning.
“I’m sorry, Mom.” Lucinda smiled, with effort. “I’m very happy to see you. You look very pretty.”
“She took my Jo!” My mother-in-law began to rock, holding her arms like she was still holding the doll. Her expression slackened, as if her lovely features slid off her face. The dulling of her affect happened when she was disengaging from stressful situations, pulling the mental plug on her surroundings.
“Mom? Mom, it’s your daughter Lucinda.”
My mother-in-law didn’t look up, rocking the imaginary baby.
“Look at the phone, Mom. Tell me about your baby.”
My mother-in-law didn’t look up, rocking.
Special Agent Lingermann reappeared. “Mrs. Bennett, your mother was right. There’s a new nurse on the wing, and she took away the hand lotion.”
“Why?” Lucinda looked angry, but I felt relieved it wasn’t a delusion.
“The new nurse is allergic to the fragrance in creams and lotions. She gets hives. She took away anything with any scent. They’re in a box in the main office.”
“She went in my mother’s underwear drawer? She took her sachets? They barely smell anymore.” Lucinda frowned. “What about the special book? That’s not scented.”
“I’m sorry, I forgot to ask about the book.”
“Special Agent Lingermann, can I talk to the supervisor? Her name is Joyce.”
“No, we can’t do that. I didn’t ask about Joyce.”
I checked, but Dom shook his head no.
Lucinda pursed her lips. “What’s this new nurse’s name?”
“Gabrielle Hook.”
Suddenly my mother-in-law rose and walked offscreen.
“Mom? Mom?” Lucinda called, raising her voice. “Where are you going?”
Special Agent Lingermann answered, “I think she’s upset. She went to the bathroom. She closed the door.”
“Can you check on her?”
“I think we should end the call. The nurse told me we should wrap it up. She said it’s almost dinnertime.”
“But she doesn’t just get up and go. Mom? Mom!”
I patted Lucinda’s arm. “Honey, maybe she’s tired. It’s so new, with the phone.”
“Oh no.” Special Agent Lingermann cringed. “I think she’s crying.”
Lucinda grimaced. “Can you please go see her? Tell her I want to talk to her?”
“I’ll get the nurse. We should end the call.”
“Mom?” Lucinda said as the screen went dark.