“We are not having this conversation,” I said, rolling my eyes and stepping back into the tent. Holt and I both knew he’d effectively made it impossible for me to run, implying I would want the resulting outcome when Caldris was finished hunting me through the woods.
The unfortunate reality was that I didn’t doubt it. Even when my brain knew better than to desire the man who was my mate, my body and my heart couldn’t quite understand why he was bad news in a way that was totally and completely impossible to take.
“You’re in the world of the Fae now, Estrella Barlowe of Mistfell,” Holt said, bowing in what felt like a mockery of respect. “Your human sensibilities do not matter, because there will quickly come a day when your mate wants to fuck you for everyone to see. When he wants to take you beside the fire while the Wild Hunt watches and listens to you scream his name. That is what the Fae do. We take what is ours and we claim it for all to see,” he said, making my cheeks flush with the memory of the Resistance watching us.
Of the way they’d witnessed his mouth between my legs, his cock spreading me wide and impaling me in the aftermath of his battle with the cave beast. I struggled to find the words to brush off his statement, and to pretend I didn’t have firsthand knowledge of everything he spoke of.
Holt tilted his head to the side, a wide smile spreading his lips. They gleamed white in the shadowed, translucence of his flesh. The feathers tied into his hair shook as a sharp laugh bubbled up his throat and he tossed his head back in mirth.
“Oh, Beasty. He already has, hasn’t he?”
I turned away, stomping over to the place where Caldris had left my boots. I tore open the laces in my rage, keeping my heated face turned away from Holt’s probing stare as I stomped back to my bedroll, feeling defeated. “There’s a special place in the afterlife for creatures like you,” I snarled when I finally leveled at him the strongest glare I could summon through my embarrassment.
“I certainly hope not. I would hate to miss out on the show,” Holt said, turning away from the tent as I pulled the blanket over my lap and snuggled into the chilled, knitted fabric. I willed the heat in my body to warm it, trying to shove away the horrifying arousal that built with the thought of being with Caldris in that way.
That wasn’t me. It may be normal to the Fae, but I was a human. I’d been born a human, and for the love of Gods I would die as one as well.
Holt stayed in place, not speaking another word while we waited for Caldris to return with the food he’d promised. My stomach growled as if to emphasize the need for it, the rumble resounding through the tent.
“Would have been hard to find something to fill your belly in the dead of winter,” he said pointedly, driving the point home that I didn’t stand much chance of survival on my own. As if I didn’t already know that. As if the bitter, short time Brann and I had survived on our own had been anything but an obvious symptom of my own inadequacy.
Holt’s head tilted to the side suddenly, his attention snapping to the sky as he glanced overhead. “Stay inside. If you want any chance at survival, stay inside the fucking tent, Estrella,” he said, snapping the fabric of the tent closed and shutting me in darkness.
Long moments passed in silence as I waited, listening for the sound of any form of movement outside the tent. There was nothing, as if the world itself froze.
I jolted when the fabric of the tent finally peeled back, Caldris’s frame stepping into the tent in a hurry. His shoulders slouched in relief when he found me sitting atop the bedroll, the hand holding a plate full of food dropping lower as he took the first step toward me. “Did she leave at all?” he asked, spinning to pin Holt with a look that was so full of fear my heartbeat ramped up in response.
What the fuck was going on?
Holt looked at me, his meaningful but expressionless stare penetrating through me. “No,” he said, surprising me. Though, I supposed, I hadn’t set foot outside the tent, but that was only due to his interference. “She never left the tent.” The words were not a lie but a carefully crafted statement to avoid the truth.
Caldris kicked off his boots, lowering himself onto the bedroll beside me and leaning forward to touch his lips aggressively to my forehead. “Thank the fucking Gods,” he murmured, and even with his mouth pressed to my skin I could feel his attention shifted to the other man.
“What’s going on?” I asked, pulling back and staring up at him in confusion. There was something so out of the ordinary about his concern, something that didn’t make any sense with the lack of commotion and nothing but quiet to fill the air.
“Have you seen them like that before?” Caldris asked, ignoring my question. His probing stare was still intent on Holt, the man who was a mix of white and shadows, of wisps of air that made a somehow corporeal form. He looked paler than usual when he shifted his attention to me briefly.
“No. She’s growing impatient,” he said, touching a hand to his chest. Caldris mimicked the motion, rubbing his hand over his heart in a way that made my own ache.
“Who?” I asked, hating that I was entirely and completely lost in the conversation that seemed to concern me.
“Mab,” Caldris said, his dark stare meeting mine. His eyes danced over my face, worry filling them as he sighed. “A murder of blight just flew overhead. They’re looking for something.”
“Mab’s daughter?” I asked, my attention shifting between the two of them.
“Possibly. More likely she’s looking to see what’s taking me so long. Trusting her children isn’t her strength,” he admitted, hanging his head forward briefly before he turned and nodded to Holt. The other man tied the knots on the tent door, disappearing from the crack between them and leaving us alone once again.
“She calls you her children?” I asked, my brow furrowing as I considered how horrifying that was, when she’d stolen them from their real families.
“Not out of any sort of love,” he said, shifting his position to get more comfortable. He lifted a piece of bread to my lips, letting me take a hesitant bite out of it. It was far from fresh, stale and crunchy around the outside, but it still tasted like one of the best things I’d ever eaten. My stomach rumbled in response as I chewed, watching as Caldris took another bite from the same piece. “It's a reminder to our families that she owns us now. That’s all.”
He lifted a piece of dried meat to my mouth, letting me take a bite of it with a grimace. He smiled as he tore off his own bite. After laboring to chew and swallow my piece, I asked, “How does she get away with it? Why is it that no one has tried to leave?”
He lifted a hand to touch his chest all over again, rubbing the spot where he and Holt had touched previously. “That’s a story for another time, Little One, and not one that should be told over such delicacies as these.”
His playful grin nearly stole a laugh from me as he lifted the stale bread to my lips once more. “Where did the food come from?” I asked, thinking about what food must be like in Alfheimr. If the gardens at the edge of the boundary had the most verdant land in Nothrek, it seemed unlikely that anything else would be true of the land of Faerie itself, but such things didn’t necessarily travel well.