I wondered if it was because I’d stabbed him multiple times, or if it was just an issue he took with my personality. It hardly mattered either way.
The man was a dick.
“You may travel with us,” Caldris said solemnly. He pulled the dagger from his sheath, holding out a hand and cutting along his palm. The knife dragged over his flesh, parting it to reveal a steady stream of blood as he allowed it to drip onto the snow at our feet. “But you will swear a blood oath not to harm any of the Fae Marked.”
Adelphia took the dagger from his hand, cutting along her palm without hesitation. It hardly seemed fair, knowing that Caldris’s wound would heal within a few moments while hers would take days. She made her cut more shallow, allowing a single drop of blood to drip on top of his. One by one, the rest of her group followed suit.
When that was done, Caldris raised his hand to my mouth. I rolled my eyes, turning down my nose at the healing wound on his palm. “You haven’t washed your hands since this morning. I will not be licking your hand.”
He grinned as if I was amusing, shoving his sleeve up and slashing the blade across his wrist.
Blood poured onto the snow to prove his point as he lifted it to my mouth, touching it to my lips as I drank what the heart beating in his chest pumped out.
I supposed that would work.
18
ESTRELLA
Adelphia strolled at my side, her presence calm and soothing. Caldris had only begrudgingly allowed me to walk alongside her and the others chattering about their lives, which must have been wholly interesting for Adelphia to recognize Caldris on sight.
“How do you know so much about the Gods? About the Old Rituals?” I asked, staring down at the bag strapped across her chest. I suspected the skull of a God rested inside it, something I couldn’t see the older woman parting with.
“We come from a village that resisted the New Gods as long as they could. Eventually the King sent his Priests and Priestesses to convert our people by force, but by that time we had already hidden our forbidden texts and artifacts in a safe place. The people of our village have done what we can to preserve that knowledge over the generations that have passed since,” she said, nodding her head as we continued along the snowy ground. “It was how I was able to recognize your mate.”
I nodded as well, having already suspected as much. With the Veil separating the realms, portraits held within forbidden texts were the only way a human woman with a mortal lifespan could know what any of the Gods looked like. My attention swung to the book Holt had given me, strapped into the saddle bags across Azra’s rump.
“The night the candle predicted you were slated to die, I sensed the truth in that premonition,” Adelphia said, drawing my attention back to her. “I wouldn’t have guessed it was a reference to the God of the Dead. I don’t typically believe the magic understands nuances like that, and you are very much alive,” she mused, reaching out a hand to grasp mine. She kept the movement casual, her voice low as she eyed Caldris cautiously where he rode beside Holt. “Stay close to your mate. I fear something else may be coming for your life, Estrella.”
“I fear there are a great many who would want me dead,” I said, scoffing with laughter as I brushed off her statement. When I’d stumbled across the ritual in the woods, I’d been shocked by the candle’s declaration that death waited for me before the next Samhain. It was my first brush with mortality—the first moment when I was reminded of just how temporary a human life could be. In the weeks that followed, I’d become far more acquainted with death. I’d danced with it more times than I cared to count, and the life where I didn’t need to worry daily seemed farther away.
Like a different life entirely.
“All the more reason to stay close to the male who would do anything to see you alive and well,” Adelphia said, finally releasing my hand. She cleared her throat, turning her gaze forward on the path we walked across the open plain and heaving a sigh. “I am certain your village did its best to turn you against the Fae. That much was obvious from what I saw in you that night in the woods, but you were willing to join us in our chanting. A part of you has always known the way of the New Gods is not the natural order. Do not let that part of you die when you need her the most.”
“I am a firm believer that it's worthwhile fighting for something like freedom,” I said, lifting my chin as I glanced at Caldris from the corner of my eye. He continued in his conversation with Holt, but I couldn’t help the feeling that he listened intently to every word. It should have been impossible to hear us, but my skin prickled with awareness regardless.
“Oh, sweet girl. What do you know of freedom?” Adelphia asked, her voice sad as she regarded me from my side. Her gaze was a heavy weight on my profile, stealing the breath from my lungs.
“I have fought my entire life to maintain even a small measure of it—”
“There can be nothing small when it comes to freedom,” she said, glancing down at the shackles on my wrist with a grimace. “You either have it or you don’t, and you were a prisoner in this world before you were even born, purely because you lack a cock. No matter how many times you snuck out in the night, you were always a prisoner—just a rebellious one.”
“How am I any freer now?” I asked, clinking the metal of my shackles together pointedly.
“You’re not, and in truth, you may never be free in the sense you desire. If you should embrace your path and the mate who is destined to stand at your side, you may find yourself caught in a different kind of imprisonment. But I should think it will be preferable to fearing for your life and the risk of punishment should you fail to comply. I suppose only time will tell,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
She smiled, her lips pulling back to reveal her teeth in something that felt far too wicked to be comforting. “Regardless of your feelings on the matter, you are the Crown Princess of Winter and Shadows. That is a title that will come with responsibilities to your new people—a burden that I am sure many would feel trapped under.”
“How could a title like that matter? Unless The Fates interfere, the Queen of each Court will probably continue to live for centuries. It isn’t as if Caldris will ever see the throne,” I said, but my voice trailed off with doubt. I knew nothing of the way Faerie politics worked or how the line of succession worked.
I didn’t even know if a royal had ever vacated a throne.
“I would wager that even a Faerie Queen can grow tired when she is not consumed by her thirst for power. From what I do know of Mab, I would agree that she’ll never step down, but there is always a chance that Caldris’s mother tires of ruling. Think of how many centuries she must have lived before Caldris was even born.” Adelphia’s voice turned wistful as she considered the thought, but all I could conjure was horror. What would an immortal being, who had lived since nearly the dawn of creation, think of someone as young as me?
I had nothing but an insignificant blip in time compared to that kind of lifetime—an eternity that sprawled out before the immortals and held all the promise of an endless future. We could accomplish nothing in our short lives by comparison.