I smiled.
“Are you feeling better now?” he asked after a moment.
“Yeah. I was sad and mad, and the reminder of how hopeless I’ve felt for so long because of him and his family really hit me hard. I had my grandma and grandpa, but it’s never been easy. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” I shrugged. “Spending all this time with you and your family, just reminded me of how tired I am of being alone. Everyone’s spoiled me. They’ve been so nice.”
Alex frowned. “You aren’t alone anymore.”
My heart yearned, and I had to give it a gentle prod to keep it in place. To remind it not to fly too high. “I know. I know you said that, but what about… five years from now? What if he escapes?” I had to be realistic about this.
Our living arrangements wouldn’t stay the same for much longer. We could be friends forever, but he had massive responsibilities. Sure, his siblings managed relationships, but Alex could have anyone.
Plus, he knew the same thing I did about what his grandmother had wanted for him. What she’d shown him. I’d had my choices taken away from me, and I would never participate in doing that to someone else.
He was the last person I would ever do that to.
“You’re not alone anymore, Gracie,” he said, still frowning.
I just lifted one shoulder that time. “What about ten years from now?”
That got those eyes narrowing.
“Twenty, Alex?” I smiled at him, not wanting to ruin the night with this crap. I’d just had the time of my life. “I get it. People leave people all the time. One day you’ll find someone you care about, someone you love”—and oh that didn’t feel right to say it, it pissed me off the second it came out of my mouth—“and maybe she’ll understand what you promised me, but maybe she won’t. We already screwed up kissing. We could have played the friends card if we hadn’t, but we did. You’re not going to lie to her either.
“You wouldn’t be able to blame her for being unhappy about it. I wouldn’t. I’ll just be some person hanging on to you for something that happened in the past. Nobody likes a third wheel who knows how their husband’s”—oh boy, my voice broke saying that word—“tongue feels in their mouth.”
Why the idea of someone else putting their tongue in Alex’s mouth made me irrationally fucking angry was something I wasn’t going to poke at too much.
Trying my best to settle for giving him a tired smile instead of a frown that reflected how upset this shit was making me, I shook my head. “I’m rambling. I had the most fun ever, and now I’m going on about shit that we don’t have to worry about right this second. Yes, I’m better now. Thank you for that gift. It’s the best gift I’ve ever been given. You just made my whole life.”
I squeezed his forearm, trying my hardest to keep my voice even. “You’re kind of the best, Hercules.” Then I let go of him. “When you’re not aggravating.”
And I would try my best not to hate his future partner’s guts, but let’s be real, I would probably have to move across the country when the time came.
My hand formed into a fist on its own just thinking about it.
Alex’s eyebrows rose and stayed up, and I knew I didn’t imagine the growl that came from deep within his chest. “You can’t be that dense,” he sighed suddenly.
Uh, rude. “Excuse me?”
“You can’t be that blind,” he repeated with a scowl that might have made me want to hide if he hadn’t just played with me for half an hour.
“Hey, fuck you, I’m not dense,” I spat.
“Yeah, you are,” he argued, gently but somehow looking genuinely insulted.
What did he have to be upset over?
Those purple irises blazed, telling me just how aggravated or annoyed he was, and then confirming it with the way his voice went so deep it sounded like it came from the base of his throat. “Gracie, do you think there’s a future for you without me in it?”
Why would that get his panties in a twist?
“Do you really think there’s a future for me without you in it?” he asked that time, enunciating every word, his gaze blazing into mine.
I’d thought for sure it would have been my heart that reacted to that comment, but it was my gut. “I don’t understand why you’re mad.”
His jaw ticced to the side, and I could see the battle on his face. In those eyes. Alex’s chest rose and fell before he said, very, very calmly, more controlled and gentle than I’d ever heard from him before, “It hurts my feelings that I’m right here, that you’re right there, and you still think that you’re ever going to be alone again.”
I blinked.
He did too.
I blinked again, and his head tipped to the side, those perfect cheekbones tight.
Had he just admitted that I’d hurt his feelings? Me? He might as well have… he might as well have told me his deepest, darkest secret.
I was stunned.
“Do I need to explain this in a different way?” Alex asked so carefully.
I nodded.
His gaze flicked upward, and he set his hands on those charcoal-colored hips, looking like The Defender and sounding like I’d thought The Defender would sound, but acting like… like fucking Alex as he muttered to himself, “Okay.”
What the hell was happening?
He pinched the bridge of his nose, dragging his fingers down the tip. Then he dropped his hand and looked at me. “Gracie?” he asked slowly.
“Yes?”
He was straddling that line between sounding grouchy and cool. “Guess what?”
I hesitated just a little, not sure where this was going but too curious to not wonder. “What?”
“Listen to me clearly.”
“I’m listening clearly.”
His mouth twitched first. Both his hands formed fists, but his voice was absolutely steady and so rich. He leaned in so his face was the only thing I could see as he said, “I always like you the most.”
OH BOY.
My whole soul went weak.
“What?” How was it possible that my eyes could start watering so fast?
He took a step closer and wrapped an arm around my lower back like it was the most natural thing in the world—it felt like it was—and he said evenly, in his Super voice, “I always like you the most.”
I tried to form a word, any fucking word, and nothing happened. I tried in English. In Spanish. In Portuguese.
All I came up with was mapsosa. It was Korean. It meant oh my god.
Alex’s breath was soft against the top of my head. “Not just sometimes. Not just when I tell you that you annoy me or when you make me laugh or when you’re talking back to me. Always. More then,” Alex told me quietly. “Do you understand that?”
Of all the ways I could’ve responded, I made a fucking squeaking, choking sound in my throat.
But he spoke Gracie apparently because he said, “You understand.”
I licked my lips, my heart already beating so damn fast. “I mean, I’m pretty cool, and I think you care about me, but…” I swallowed hard, this whole thing feeling like a damn dream or something.
He always liked me?