“This is wrong,” he says.
That makes me angry. Yes, he’s my teacher, and he’s a lot older than me. And married. Okay, that sounds bad. But at the same time, we connect. When two people connect on the same level we do, don’t they have a responsibility to do something about it, no matter what the circumstances? “I don’t think it’s wrong,” I say.
“It is.” His brows bunch together. “But I can’t resist you. I’m helpless.”
I can’t resist you. I’m helpless.
My only fear is that we could get caught. Look at what happened to Mr. Tuttle, and nothing like this even went on with him. But maybe that’s the difference. Mr. Tuttle and I weren’t doing anything wrong, so we weren’t careful. But Mr. Bennett and I will be careful.
Like he’s reading my mind, Mr. Bennett looks anxiously at the door. “We shouldn’t do this here.”
“I know a place.”
He looks surprised, but he follows me dutifully out the door to the classroom. There is a place in the school that nobody else knows about where two people could be alone. I took photography last year as an elective, and the class was all digital, but it didn’t used to be. There’s a darkroom set up next to the classroom that kids used to use to develop photos, but now it’s just a small empty room with a large sink and old chemicals. Maybe someday it will be repurposed for something, but now it’s a haven of privacy.
I close the door behind us.
“You’re really something, Addie,” he breathes.
He loosens his tie and undoes the first button on his collar as my heart skips a beat. He’s not going to take off his shirt, is he? The thought of it makes me uneasy, but thankfully, he stops after that first button.
“I’m glad you like the room, Mr. Bennett,” I say.
He grins at me. “You don’t need to call me Mr. Bennett when we’re in here.”
“Oh.” I feel stupid. Obviously, if we are going to be making out in the darkroom, I shouldn’t be calling him Mr. Bennett. “Nathaniel then?” It feels so strange saying his first name. Even after kissing him, saying “Mr. Bennett” feels more normal to me.
He grins at me. “Most people call me Nate. But it’s your choice.”
“I like Nathaniel,” I say thoughtfully.
“Okay,” he agrees. “And how about you? Do you prefer Adeline?” His smile widens. “Sweet Adeline…”
I have always hated the name Adeline, but I like the way it sounds on his lips. Sweet Adeline…
Except it’s not really true, is it? There’s nothing sweet about what we’re doing in this darkroom. “I prefer Addie.”
“You got it.” He cocks his head at me. “Back in the classroom, was that…was that your first kiss?”
My face burns. I hate for him to think of me as being inexperienced, but I don’t want to lie to him. I get the feeling he knows when I’m telling the truth.
“You just seemed uncomfortable at first,” he says quickly.
For real? That is not what I wanted to hear, even though he’s technically right. “Was I bad at it?”
“No. No. You were amazing.” He shakes his head. “And it doesn’t matter if it was your first kiss or not. Forget I asked that. I just… I feel bad. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
I tilt my chin up to him. “I want to do this.”
He hesitates for another split second, considering my answer. Then he pushes me against the table used to place developed photos, and he kisses me again.
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Chapter Thirty-Eight
ADDIE
WE SPEND the next forty minutes in the darkroom, and then Mr. Bennett—I mean, Nathaniel—drives me home after. It’s a bit risky, but if he doesn’t drive me home, I’m going to be late, and my mom is going to totally freak if she gets home from her shift and I’m not there. So it’s a risk we need to take.
As we drive home, I can’t stop thinking about what happened in that darkroom. The way Mr. Bennett—I mean, Nathaniel—touched me. The feel of his lips on mine set every single nerve in my body on fire. And really, all we did was kiss. He didn’t even try to do more than that. He told me he wasn’t going to. This is all I dreamed of doing with him.
That’s how sweet he is. He doesn’t care if all we do is kiss. He just wants to be with me because we have this connection.
When we stop at a red light, he reaches over and takes my hand in his. He flashes me a nervous look. “Is this okay?” he asks.