But it doesn’t matter. Whether I can be with Jay or not, I can’t be with Nate anymore.
“You can do this.” He squeezes my hand. “Don’t be afraid of him. You’ve got this.”
He has confidence in me, but the problem is, he doesn’t know my husband the way I do.
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Chapter Fifty
EVE
BY THE TIME Nate gets home, I am more than a bit drunk.
He doesn’t arrive until nearly three hours after school ended, which begs the question of what he has been doing all that time. I don’t know if he has been with her or doing actual school-related duties. If he’s not an idiot, he knows he should be staying away from Addie Severson in the wake of her being found outside our house. Although he must not be thinking entirely clearly if he kissed her right inside his own classroom.
As for me, after Jay brought me back to the McDonald’s to retrieve my car, I drove around for a while but eventually ended up back home.
I tried to grade some papers, but that was an exercise in futility. Soon after that, I went for my bottle of wine. Unfortunately, all we had was about a quarter of a bottle left of cabernet. But I did find half a bottle of vodka.
When I hear the front door opening, I’ve been in the process of trying on all my shoes. Yes, all of them. I don’t know why, but there’s something comforting about a fashion show for my feet. Whenever I’m feeling bad about something, I go straight to my shoes. That’s something Nate could never understand, but Jay gets it.
Nate doesn’t call out my name when he walks inside. He never does. Maybe he’s hoping I’m not home so he can jerk off thinking about her. I don’t want to know what thoughts are going through his head. I just want him out of my life.
I toss all my shoes back in the closet, except for the Louis Vuitton pumps that I wore on my birthday. I slide them onto my feet, then I head downstairs.
Nate is in the living room, peeling off his black coat. He plucks the beanie off his hair and runs a hand through his thick locks quickly to smooth them down. As I descend the stairs, I can’t help but think back to the first time I laid eyes on my husband and how handsome I thought he was. It was love at first sight—or so I thought. I always believed we would be together forever.
I was so stupid.
“Hello.” It’s only after the word comes out that I realize my speech is slurring slightly. I should not have had that last shot of vodka. I need to be clearheaded for this. “You’re home.”
“Uh, yeah.” He hangs up his coat in the hall closet. “Did you get dinner started?”
“No.” I grab on to the banister to keep from swaying. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.” He loosens his tie around his neck and squints at me. “Have you been drinking?”
This is not exactly how I wanted the conversation to go, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not waiting one more minute to discuss this with him. It needs to end tonight. I step toward him, grabbing on to the sofa this time for balance. I don’t know how to begin this conversation, but I plow forward anyway.
“I know about you and Addie Severson,” I blurt out.
Nate’s hands freeze on the loop of his tie. “Excuse me?”
“I know,” I repeat. I have to focus to keep my words from slurring, but he needs to know how serious I am. “I know what you’re doing with her. I know that’s why she was outside our house the other night.”
“That’s…that’s crazy!” He laughs. “Come on, Eve. You really think I would do something like that? With Addie?” He shakes his head. “Where would you get such a silly idea? I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink. Do you want me to make you a cup of coffee?”
Oh, he is good. My husband is smooth. If it were simply a rumor I heard, I would probably be dismissing it right now. Then again, I always knew he was a liar.
“I saw you,” I spit at him. “I saw you kissing her. In your classroom during fifth period.”
“Oh.” The easy smile drops off his face. “I see.”
“What do you have to say for yourself?”
Nate tugs at his tie until it comes loose, then he drops it on the floor. He hangs his head. “I don’t know what I can say. I made a massive mistake. Addie had a crush on me, and I thought I could handle it, then today she kissed me. I let it go on a second too long—I know I did. It was stupid, and I’ll never let it happen again. I’ll make it very clear to her how inappropriate it was.”