“I should’ve done more to save her.” His pained words were muffled in the fabric of my cloak. His fingers clung to me like he was falling from a cliff; I held him tighter, tunneling deep into a place of calm—the anchor in his storm.
“There’s nothing you could’ve done, Grae,” I whispered as his fingertips pressed in tighter. “Don’t torture yourself. She wouldn’t have wanted that for you.”
Tears burned down my cheeks as I absorbed his sorrow, feeling it as keenly as my own. My knees soaked in melted snow and I didn’t budge. I would freeze into the ice and not let him go. I’d weather any storm to ease that festering pain.
“The scars on your back . . . ,” I murmured against his skin. “That was him, wasn’t it?”
“A lesson.” Grae’s voice broke. “He wouldn’t let me shift or heal. A reminder of who was truly in charge.”
“He feared your power even then,” I said, angry and confident at this idea. “Afraid of all you could be if he lifted you up, so instead he pushed you down. He was neither a good father nor a good king.”
I slid one hand to his neck, holding him against my shoulder.
“When I saw Hemming . . . when he said my father would be lenient with you . . .” Grae took a shuddering breath. “I tried. I was willing to make terrible choices to keep you safe. But when he said that, I knew you could never be a part of his pack. I knew I finally had a chance to protect the one I loved.”
He’d feared for me. It made all his actions suddenly so clear—his silence, his avoidance, even that amber necklace. I’d never realized it was his father he was trying to protect me from, rather than protect himself. No wonder he didn’t speak up that day in King Nero’s office. The more attached he seemed to me, the more danger he put me in.
That fear and pain was a living thing brimming to the surface now.
I pulled back just enough to rest my forehead to his, wiping his tear-stained cheeks. “You don’t ever need to fear what your father will do to me,” I promised him, wiping my thumbs across his cheeks. “You said it yourself. I am strong.”
“Yes,” he said with a halfhearted smile. “But the people I care about the deepest are always in the most danger, and I would burn Damrienn to the ground before watching that life fade from your eyes.” I stared deeply into his red-rimmed eyes, so raw, so vulnerable. “I can’t—”
He choked on his words, and I held his face up, making him look at me.
“I won’t ever leave you like that,” I promised. “Wherever we are going in this life, Grae, we will go there together. You and me. Always. And I will tear the throat out of anyone who tries to take me from you.” My voice dropped into a lethal snarl. “I am stronger than your fears. And if I ever step foot in Damrienn again, I’ll make damn sure the King knows he can’t use me to hurt you. His words and actions will never declaw me. I’ll always bite back.”
His eyes welled and he nodded. Leaning back, he scooped me up from where I knelt before him and pulled me onto his lap. I tucked my head into the crook of his neck, holding him as he wrung out his sorrow. I wished I could undo all that had been done, but at least I could assure him it would never happen again. I wouldn’t go quietly out of this life. I’d fight with every ounce of my being. For Grae, for Briar, for Galen den’ Mora, but most of all, for me. No more hiding in the shadows. I would burn brilliantly for however long I had.
“Thank the Gods,” he murmured, dusting the snow off my knees. “You are a fearsome creature, little fox, and I’m so grateful for it. I don’t know how we’re going to rescue Maez or deal with my father or defeat Sawyn, but from now on, we figure it out together. No more running off”—he gave me a knowing look—“and no more hiding away. However long we have, we will spend it together.”
I brushed a soft kiss to his cold lips and murmured against his mouth, “The moon knew we needed each other, better than I ever understood, and now I know I was meant to be yours just as you were meant to be mine.”
Those claiming words felt greater than any vow, and as Grae’s lips met mine, I felt that promise fulfilled deep in my soul. It felt just like the moonlight bursting from the center of my chest. It cracked me open, all the raw parts of me opening up as we deepened our kiss. Everything felt suddenly greater—the depths of my sorrows, the highs of my joy, and the loudest note that sang through the chorus of emotions was that of belonging. I’d deny it no longer. I belonged with him, now and forever.