Miles: If I understand your self-persecuting mind as well as I think I do, you woke up about to die of embarrassment. Don’t. Please don’t. It was my sincere pleasure to be your listening ear. Everyone needs one. Thank you for being mine. Have a great Christmas morning with your family, Olive. I hope it’s a good moment for you. I’ll see you this afternoon. P.S…I left something by your door.
I flung the sheets off my bed and raced to the door, half hoping to see Miles sitting in a basket with a bow on his head. I was only slightly disappointed with what I found instead–a small basket filled with a large thermos full of freshly made hot cream with a splash of coffee, a book, and what looked like a well-loved DVD.
With a grin, I pulled out the book first—a beautiful hardback copy of Jane Eyre we’d spotted earlier in the bookstore. I opened the cover and discovered his inscription.
Olive,
For a cozy night by the fire. I’ll let you read me to sleep.
Love,
Miles
I laughed when I picked up the DVD. The cover had faded, and the clasp had broken off, but the face of Arnold Schwarzenegger as The Terminator was very clear. Attached to the back was a sticky note.
Olive,
For our next date night in. I’ll change your mind, I promise. So much fodder for good literary discussion in this movie. Trust me.
Love,
Miles
I arrived at Mom and Russ’s cabin at 8 am. On their front porch was a large basket of Christmas brunch items from the Taylor family. There would be a big Christmas dinner celebration at the lodge later this evening, but each family had the whole day to spend together in their cabins. The basket contained the makings of simple but delicious breakfast foods, along with cheeses, specialty meats, and sliced bread for lunch.
I was the last to arrive, with a tired Chloe and Ben sitting by the tree while their two impatient three-year-olds rummaged through their stockings. My mom and Russ were both cheery and dressed in a matching set of flannel pajamas and robes when I stepped inside, depositing my small box of presents near the tree by the window. Mom came over and wrapped me in a hug, her warm scent of vanilla tickling my nose. When I pulled away from her, Russ and I glanced at each other awkwardly. I had never hugged him. And I didn’t really hug him this time either, but as if by mutual accord, we went in for a brief side hug and a hesitant smile.
“Hey, kiddo,” he said. “How’s your cabin holding up? Do you need me to chop some wood for you?”
I bit my lip. Though Miles had talked a big game about leaving me to fend for myself, the wood always seemed to be replenished. A fresh bundle appeared almost magically every morning on the porch.
“No. Thank you. Miles has been keeping me warm.”
Mom and Russ looked at me in surprise as my eyes widened in horror.
“No! That’s not what I meant. I mean he’s kept the fire burning.”
Ew. No. Make it stop.
I shook my head in mortified frustration. “Let me start over. He chops wood for me every day and puts it on my porch. And then he goes away.”
Russ started laughing, and my mom followed suit, though her laughter brimmed more with relief than actually thinking I was funny.
“Let me know if he gets out of line. I’ll have a talk with him.”
I stiffened at the gesture, but before I could think too hard about it, Russ clapped his hands excitedly and motioned us over to the couch and chairs in the living room, surrounding the tree. “Should we open presents now?”
Holly and Ivy squealed in excitement, jumping up and down. Chloe and I exchanged a look with my mom. I wanted to tell Russ that we always opened presents after we had a big breakfast. We would wake up early and check out our stockings first, before my parents began cooking a big breakfast of eggs, bacon, hash browns, and cinnamon rolls we’d made the night before. Then we’d sit down to eat before digging into any actual presents, dragging the whole morning out until we were all dying of anticipation.
Mom met my eyes. “Russ’s family was never patient enough to wait until after breakfast.”
Russ looked appalled. “Open presents after breakfast? What kind of self-controlled monsters are you people?”
Ben raised a hand. “I have to agree with you, Russ. My family always opened everything before breakfast, too. These people are crazy.”
Chloe gave Ben a playful push. “We still do, at YOUR parents’ house. My year for Christmas, we do it right.”
Russ nodded theatrically to Ben. “Yes, the second we were all up, it was a race to the tree and a wrapping-paper frenzy going a hundred miles an hour.”
“Yup. It’s the best,” Ben agreed, smiling smartly at his wife.
Knowing what I knew of Russ, I could very well imagine him in the middle of the fray with his kids, childlike excitement in his manners, just like he was looking at us now.
This didn’t necessarily feel like climbing Mount Everest or scaling a ninety-foot wall, but it was perhaps a tiny step forward I could take. “I guess we could try it Russ and Ben’s way. But if it sucks, we’re eating breakfast first next year.”
“Deal,” Russ said.
Mom gave me a small, relieved smile, and we all sat down while Russ began handing out presents like Santa’s elf. Russ’s way wasn’t half bad, except that the excitement of Christmas was over much earlier. We each walked away with a handful of presents, and to my surprise, my lame gift to Russ of a digital picture frame was received like I had just handed him keys to a sports car. If I wasn’t careful, Russ’s excitement for life and people might start to endear him to me. As it was, we ended up having a nice morning together. Different, but nice. I could at least say that much.
After our breakfast of fresh maple cinnamon rolls, cut-up oranges, and hot chocolate, Russ stepped into the bedroom, claiming he needed a nap after all that sugar. Soon after, Ben and Chloe left for their own cabin to attempt a nap for their own sugar-crazed children.
My mom and I sat next to each other on the couch, a brief moment of awkwardness between us at our sudden alone time. I hadn’t really spoken much to my mom this whole trip once I moved to the other cabin. Some of that had been intentional. Wherever my mom was, Russ was somewhere nearby, and I hadn’t wanted to deal with him. But now, for the first time since coming, I wondered if this Christmas had been strange for her, too.
“Have you had a nice time here?” I asked, almost bracing myself for her answer. Why was it all so hard? Why did there have to be so many emotions tied up into the holidays?
A smile touched her lips. “Yes. This place is almost magical.”
I nodded. Even though it still didn’t seem quite right to make memories without my dad, I thought of my time with Miles and couldn’t deny the magical qualities of this place. I glanced again at my mom. She was still smiling, but it almost looked pained. It didn’t reach her eyes. Like mother, like daughter, I guess.
“You and Miles seem pretty cozy. How are things?” She said the words but still wasn’t looking at me.
Suddenly, I was tired of the fake. I actually wasn’t even sure what was fake anymore. But it was time. “Mom, I need to tell you something.”
She looked slightly alarmed but waved me on. I took a deep breath and blurted, “Miles and I were never really dating. We were pretending so I could get the Fosters off my back.”