Iris took the hint, yanking the green garment over her head and tossing it behind her. Stevie had to stop and stare. Had to. Iris’s bra was a dusky pink and completely sheer, her nipples already hard and straining against the fabric.
“God,” Stevie said, and Iris laughed.
“Yeah?” Iris said.
Stevie nodded. “You’re gorgeous.”
Iris smiled, but Stevie could swear a little blush swept over her cheeks. “So are you.”
Stevie closed her eyes. She couldn’t imagine getting undressed in front of this woman. Suddenly, she was thirteen years old again, standing in her middle school’s locker room the week after she came out, feeling every eighth grade girl’s eyes on her back as she undressed. A few of them wouldn’t even change in front of her—they insisted on going into a bathroom stall.
She shook her head to clear it. No idea why that memory popped into her head, but now that it had, she couldn’t seem to get it to go away. That feeling—self-conscious and lonely and, even though she knew it wasn’t true, like she was somehow wrong—lodged its claws into her heart, her chest, her stomach.
“Hey,” Iris said, setting soft hands on her waist. “We really don’t have to do this.”
“No,” Stevie said a little too loudly. She softened her voice. “No, I want to. I really, really do.” She kissed Iris again, putting all she had into it. Iris was sweet. Iris wouldn’t hurt her or make fun of her. Yes, she would leave her, but she was supposed to. That’s what a one-night stand was, by definition. Stevie just needed to get out of her head. She needed to listen to her body instead of her brain.
Iris’s hands drifted over Stevie’s ribs. “This top?” she said, mouth on Stevie’s jaw. “Has been driving me crazy all night.”
“Really?” Stevie asked. “M-maybe we should take it off.”
“Maybe we should.” Iris’s hands roamed over the fabric, over Stevie’s breasts. She released a little groan. “No bra. Fuck, that’s hot.”
Stevie froze. Shit. She’d forgotten this shirt was tight enough that she didn’t need a bra. Her chest wasn’t anything impressive. Half the time, she went braless even in T-shirts, but tonight, she was cursing the decision.
Because as soon as her top was off, she’d be naked from the waist up.
In front of Iris.
Iris, whose last name Stevie didn’t even know.
Not that she should.
Not that Stevie hadn’t known a hookup usually involved some degree of nakedness.
Not that any of those facts were helping quell the panic rising in Stevie’s gut right now.
She could hear herself breathing, air huffing through her nostrils, and not in a sexy way. Her stomach roiled, her mouth watering in warning.
Breathe, she told herself. Just fucking breathe.
“Are you okay?” Iris asked. She’d stepped back again, and Stevie nodded, reaching for her once again to convince them both. Instead of coming into her embrace, however, Iris gripped Stevie’s forearms and peered into her face.
“You look a little . . .”
But before Iris could finish her sentence, Stevie’s stomach had finally had enough. It rebelled, full and utter mutiny. Stevie leaned over and threw up all over the scuffed oak floor. It wasn’t much—her extreme anxiety pukes never were—but it was enough to splash a little on Iris’s jeans, her bare feet.
For a second, neither of them moved. Stevie stood there, still breathing heavily, and waited for some monster of the underworld to burst through her floor and swallow her whole.
Unfortunately, no such creature appeared.
Iris still held on to Stevie’s arms.
She must be in shock.
“Okay, then,” Iris finally said, breaking the horrible, vomit-covered spell. “Well.”
“I’m so sorry,” Stevie managed to say. Tears had sprung into her eyes. In these moments when Stevie didn’t pay attention to the signs that her anxiety level was reaching a fever pitch and do a little triage—take her as-needed meds on top of her regular Lexapro, slow down, remove herself from the anxiety-inducing situation if possible—and she ended up hurling, she always followed that delightful experience with a hearty round of sobbing.
“It’s okay,” Iris said, but her voice sounded tight, uncomfortable. Unsurprising, considering she’d just been vomited all over by someone she was trying to seduce. How very sexy.
The thought made the tears overflow, running down Stevie’s cheeks and stealing her breath.
“Oh god,” Iris said, noticing the tears. “Okay, it’s all right.”
“It’s not. Shit, I’m so, so sorry,” Stevie managed to say between hiccups. “You can go. Please.”
Iris released Stevie’s arms and guided her backward, careful to avoid the puddle of sick on the floor. She sat Stevie down at the end of the bed, then headed toward the kitchen. Stevie heard some cabinets opening and closing, and then Iris returned with a roll of paper towels and a bottle of cleaner.
“No. Iris, oh my god. Don’t.”
But Iris kneeled down and wiped up the puke with a few swipes, then sprayed the floor with cleaner and wiped that up too. Stevie knew she needed to get up, kick Iris out, and clean up her own mess, but she felt glued to the bed, tears still on a runaway train down her face.
“Iris,” she said, but Iris kept ignoring her, wiping at her feet and jeans, and then taking everything back to the kitchen. She ran the tap for what seemed like an hour—undoubtedly scouring a stranger’s vomit from her hands—before she returned to the bedroom with a glass of water.
“Here,” she said, handing it to Stevie. Then she pulled the covers down on the bed, literally fluffing Stevie’s pillow. Stevie watched in half horror, half fascination. She drank her water dutifully, but the cool liquid did little to assuage her humiliation.
“Iris,” she tried again, but Iris still didn’t respond. Instead, she took Stevie’s half-empty water glass and set it on the nightstand, then pulled Stevie up by her arms and guided her under the covers.
She tucked Stevie in.
After that, she went into the bathroom and found Stevie’s tiny trash can, setting it next to the bed. Stevie just watched her, her chest so tight she could hardly breathe.
“Okay,” Iris said, hands on her hips. She was still shirtless, beautiful. “You need me to call anyone for you?”
Stevie could only shake her head.
Iris nodded, then looked around for her sweater. She found it by the couch, slipped it on, and hoisted her bag over her shoulder. “Well. Good night. I hope you feel better.”
Stevie offered a weak wave. She wanted to explain—because what if, after all of this, Iris was worried about catching some horrible bug from Stevie—but she couldn’t seem to get any words to form. Her head was fuzzy, her tongue a useless lump in her mouth.
It didn’t matter anyway. Iris barely waited for a response, turning quickly and finding her shoes by the front door. She didn’t even slow down to put them on. She simply slipped out the door, clicking it softly shut behind her.
Stevie stared at the ceiling, hoping, as she laid in bed, that she’d realize this whole shitshow of a night was a dream. The music she’d put on to calm her down still played through her phone, so she grabbed it off her nightstand and silenced the sultry tones. She was just about to toss her device on the floor when it buzzed with a text.