“Or maybe it was because you were curious about me. I was definitely curious about you. And why not? We’re related. Family.” Hattie shifted her position. “I thought about you often. Although obviously, I didn’t know anything about you, so my image of you was all in my head.”
Erica’s mouth was dry. “What did you imagine?”
“When I was younger I used to picture you showing up at my door. You’d love me on sight, of course, and we’d become instant best friends—” She gave a rueful smile. “My expectations were set very high back then.”
Erica felt a stab of guilt as she remembered her less than friendly greeting when Hattie had appeared at the door.
“I don’t tend to love people on sight. I’m more cautious than that.”
“I’m sure you are. After what happened, it must be hard for you to trust. But you have such a close friendship group, you clearly have managed it.”
That was true. She trusted Anna and Claudia completely.
Hattie paused. “I don’t expect you to love me on sight, but I would like the chance to get to know you a little and I hope in time we might become closer. I think our dad would have liked that. More to the point, I’d like that and I know Delphi would, too.” She toyed with the stem of her glass. “When I came up to your room earlier it didn’t seem as if you wanted a relationship, and if that’s the case then of course I understand.”
Erica no longer knew what she wanted. Pursuing this relationship wouldn’t be a casual thing, especially not with a child involved. It couldn’t be. She remembered the loneliness of her own childhood. The nagging feeling that maybe the fact that it was just the two of them was somehow her fault. That if she’d done something differently, been a different person, maybe her father wouldn’t have left in the first place, or maybe he would have wanted to come back and live with them. She didn’t want to be in Delphi’s life and then exit, leaving her with the feeling that she’d somehow fallen short.
So far, their interaction had been fairly superficial. She could still check out in the morning and put all this behind her, and Delphi would forget her in a week.
But was that really what she wanted?
For the first time in her life, she didn’t know what she wanted. She felt cowardly. Unsettled. But she knew she owed Hattie an apology.
“I was rude earlier. I apologize. It’s no excuse, but I underestimated how emotional the whole thing would be. I didn’t know my father, and I didn’t know you, so I didn’t expect to be assaulted by so many feelings. It was—” she stared into her glass “—it is confusing.”
“I’m finding it confusing, too. You were this shadowy figure in my life. Almost a permanent reminder of the importance of behaving responsibly.” Hattie gestured to the window, where snow was swirling in the darkness. “It’s snowing heavily. At this rate you may not have a choice about leaving tomorrow.”
There was a wistful note in her voice, and Erica felt as if this was the point where she should say that she no longer wanted to leave, but she couldn’t force the words out of her mouth. She didn’t know how she felt. Staying would mean deepening the bond, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that.
Hattie broke the silence. “Tell me more about you. Where do you live?”
“I have an apartment in Manhattan. But I’m not there often. I travel a lot for work.”
“Where to?”
“Everywhere.” Erica relaxed a little. “Often Europe and the Far East.”
“Sounds glamorous.”
“It can be.” Erica thought about the hotel rooms, the spas, the room service. “It can also be lonely.”
“Do you have someone special in your life?”
“You mean romantic?” Did Jack count? No, their relationship was practical and satisfying but not serious in any way. “No.”
“You hesitated.” Hattie leaned forward and passed Erica the bottle so that she could top up her glass. “Tell me more. Leave nothing out.”
“Now you’re sounding like Anna.”
“Well, you clearly love Anna, so I’ll take that as a good thing.”
Erica poured a small amount of wine into her glass. “There is someone I see from time to time, but it’s casual. It’s more a question of convenience. We’re there for each other when one of us needs a date.”
“But you like him. A lot.”
Erica frowned. “I don’t know how you draw that conclusion from what I just told you.”
“Because you don’t strike me as the kind of woman who wastes time with someone whose company you don’t enjoy.”
Erica shrugged. “I value my independence.”
Hattie tilted her head. “How does being in a relationship threaten your independence?”
It was a reasonable question and one Erica found hard to answer. She enjoyed Jack’s company. Jack hadn’t asked her to give anything up or change anything. So why hadn’t she let him stay the night when he’d suggested it?
“I suppose I’m set in my ways.” She changed the subject. “How about you? Noah seemed—attentive.”
“He has been a great friend.” Color whooshed into Hattie’s cheeks and Erica knew Anna would have immediately dived in with a follow-up question, but she wasn’t Anna.
Should she mention that Delphi wanted him to move in? No. She knew nothing about being an aunt, but she had a feeling that betraying a confidence wouldn’t be a good start.
“You’re right that the wine is good, by the way.” She’d been so focused on the conversation she’d only now realized just how good.
“It is good.” Hattie glanced at the bottle. “Brent employed a sommelier to fill our wine cellar when we first opened. He left lots of notes for us, including when certain bottles should be drunk. I found this one when I was in the cellar last week and decided I was going to gift it to myself.”
“An excellent decision.” Erica took another sip. “But I feel guilty drinking your profits. Put this on my bill.”
“Don’t worry about it. Right now there isn’t much in the way of profits, but the fact that I no longer have Chef Tucker and Stephanie on the payroll may mean my costs have gone down dramatically. They were the employee equivalent of white truffle.”
Erica laughed. “You were brave tonight. You handled it well.”
“Did I? I think it was more a case of being trapped in a corner, and if it weren’t for the fact that you have friends with useful talents I don’t think we would have made it through the evening, but what the hey—” Hattie fiddled with her glass. “I think you were brave, coming here.”
Brave? She’d arranged this trip without telling anyone why she was doing it; she’d stepped into the inn, taken one look at that photo and been so unsettled by the emotion unleashed inside her that she’d almost run away.
Almost.
So far, technically, she’d only run as far as the bookstore.
She’d been so sure that she wanted to leave. But now?
Something had shifted during the conversation with Hattie. She was no longer a stranger, but a real person. She’d created a detailed picture where previously Erica had only had bare facts, a rough sketch. And then there was Delphi.