Walking away had seemed like the easy answer, but it no longer felt easy.
She could check out in the morning as planned, spend Christmas in the city and step firmly back into her comfort zone. She could go back to her old life and pretend nothing had changed. Maybe message Hattie occasionally.
But was that what she wanted?
EIGHTEEN
Claudia
“I tell you, the guy was a bully.” Claudia drizzled extra maple syrup over her pancakes. “And the sort who intimidated people with his food. Food should never be intimidating. If I’d had to rename one of his dishes I would have called it A fat slice of ego served on a bed of overinflated self-esteem.”
Anna picked up her coffee cup. “Shouldn’t that be a soufflé of self-esteem?”
“Maybe.” Claudia smiled. Inside she was buzzing. She couldn’t remember when she’d had as much fun as she’d had the night before. She’d had complete autonomy in the kitchen, or as much autonomy as was possible when you were working with someone else’s ego-driven menu. “I’ve worked with people like him and trust me, it was an experience I could happily have lived without. He was the type who thought the food should be honored to have him preparing it.”
The sort of chef who had put her off working in kitchens.
Anna sipped her coffee. She was wearing a cream cable-knit sweater, and her hair fell dark and silky past her shoulders. “Do you think he’ll come back?”
“I hope not. You look great, by the way. Like an advert for a Christmas mini break. Is that another new sweater?”
Anna tilted her head. “It depends on how you’re defining new.”
Did she ever look as well put together as Anna? When she wasn’t working she was more of a fall-out-of-bed-into-workout-gear type of person. If she wasn’t working out, she more often than not pulled on her most comfortable jeans. If someone called on her unannounced, she’d apologize for her appearance and say she didn’t know she’d be seeing anyone, but Anna would be able to answer the door at any time, knowing she was looking her best.
Anna always looked like an adult. Claudia always felt as if adulthood was something she had yet to attain. She resolved to make more effort.
Anna helped herself to fruit from the basket on the table. “You don’t think the chef might change his mind when he calms down?”
“His sort never calms down. Hattie is better off without him. And she fortunately has an excellent breakfast chef. These buttermilk pancakes are excellent. Not always easy to make them this fluffy.” She examined the texture. “And the caramelized apple and walnut is a perfect addition.”
“Maybe Hattie will be better off without him in the long-term,” Anna said, “but in the short-term she needs a head chef. Unless the breakfast chef can work evenings, too?”
“Different skill set.” Claudia put her fork down. “Are you saying I didn’t do a good job? I’ll have you know I left the kitchen no fewer than eight times last night to speak to diners who wanted to thank me in person. Everyone was happy and the kitchen staff wasn’t traumatized. I consider that a win.”
“Since when have you been so sensitive? I’m not saying you didn’t do a good job. Of course you did a great job. But you were standing in for the night, that’s all. We’re leaving today.” Anna sneaked a look at Erica and then sliced into her pancake. “You’re not a permanent solution and Hattie needs a permanent solution.” She took a mouthful of food. “You’re right. These pancakes are excellent. Is that cinnamon in the apple?”
“Yes.” The idea of leaving today killed her mood. Last night had been the first time in ages that she hadn’t once thought about John, or wondered what she was going to do with her future. She’d been absorbed in the moment, loving every second. The challenge of stepping in last minute to a difficult situation had given her a buzz, and she felt good about supporting Hattie.
She was enjoying the inn, and her evening in the kitchen had been the happiest few hours as a chef she’d had for a long time.
“You’re smiling,” Anna said. “Did you meet someone?”
“What? No! Why would me smiling mean I’d met someone? I smile all the time.”
“Not like this—” Anna waved her fork. “It’s a goofy smile. An ‘I just fell in love’ smile.”
“That has nothing to do with a man. I had fun last night, that’s all. And I learned that I do still love cooking.” She waited for Erica to say I told you so, but her friend was gazing out the window. “Not only cooking. I discovered that I love being a chef if the circumstances are right. And it’s a relief, because I’d lost that joy and I thought it had gone forever. It’s like discovering you love your husband after all and no longer want to divorce him.”
“I have no idea how that feels because I have never wanted to divorce Pete, but I’m pleased.”
Claudia was pleased, too. “It changes things. I was facing a future of not knowing what I wanted to do, but now I know. I still want to be a chef, but not just anywhere. The atmosphere is important to me. I need to make sure I don’t panic and take the first job I’m offered. I need to give myself time to make sure the culture is a fit.”
Anna reached across and gave her hand a squeeze. “It’s good to see you happy.” She went back to her pancakes. “What is Hattie going to do about staffing the kitchen tonight?”
“I don’t know. We’re meeting after breakfast to talk through how she can simplify the menu and maybe manage with the team she has.” She wanted to volunteer her services, but she wasn’t in a position to do that.
She glanced at Erica again. Would she change her mind about leaving?
Hattie seemed pretty great. And okay, the initial situation and meeting had been awkward, but they’d already bumped their way over that so why was Erica so determined to walk away from it?
Erica hadn’t spoken since they’d sat down at the breakfast table. Nor had she touched her food. All she’d done was sip black coffee and gaze out the window. Not that gazing out the window was a bad occupation. The snow had continued to fall during the night and they’d woken to blue skies and a deep layer of fresh snow. Bright sunshine dazzled, adding sparkle to the jewel-encrusted surface. Trees were coated, their branches bowing under the weight of fresh snow. The view added to the festive atmosphere of the inn.
“What did you two do while I was sweating away over a hot stove?” Claudia finished her pancakes, making a mental note to congratulate the chef later.
“I spent an entertaining hour with Delphi,” Anna said. “Who reminded me how much I love young children. Also, how very exhausting they are.”
Claudia reached for her coffee. “How old is she?”
“Five and three quarters, as she told me. We read, and she asked approximately two hundred and fifty questions in the space of thirty minutes. She also drowned me in interesting facts. Did you know that there are over five hundred species of shark? Also, they have been around for more than four hundred million years.”
“Four hundred million? I’m going to stop complaining about almost being forty.” Claudia suppressed a yawn. “I remember yours asking a million questions when they were that age. Don’t you, Erica?”