Then I got it. Right then. Why she’d learned how to fight. “And you want that chance.”
She nodded. “I won’t…I refuse to be helpless.”
I knew that promise all too well. “No one should be.”
A soft breath left her as her fingers stilled. “You saw what happened tonight. They reached the top of the Rise. If one makes it over, more will follow. No Rise is impenetrable, and even if it were, mortals come back from outside the Rise cursed. It happens more than people realize. At any moment, that curse could spread in this city. If I’m going down—”
“You’ll go down fighting.”
She nodded again.
I was quiet for a moment, processing all of that. “Like I said, you’re very brave.”
“I don’t think it’s bravery.” Her gaze returned to her hands. “I think it’s…fear.”
“Fear and bravery are often one and the same.” I told her what my father had once told Malik and me, when we were first learning how to wield a sword. “It either makes you a warrior or a coward. The only difference is the person it resides inside.”
Her gaze lifted to mine. “You sound so many years older than what you appear.”
“Only half of the time,” I replied with a small grin. “You saved lives tonight, Princess.”
“But many died.”
“Too many,” I agreed. “The Craven are a never-ending plague.”
Her head fell back against the chair as she wiggled her tiny toes at the fire. “As long as an Atlantian lives, there will be Craven.”
“That is what they say.” I turned to the dying fire, reminding myself she didn’t know any better. Most mortals didn’t. They… Something else occurred to me. Things began to click into place. The admiration people held for her went beyond being told she was Chosen by the gods. What Jole Crain had said. Those white handkerchiefs and the people who helped bring peace to those afflicted. “You said that more come back from outside the Rise cursed than people realize. How do you know that?”
Silence
“I’ve heard rumors,” I lied. My gaze slid to her. “It’s not spoken about a lot, and when it is, it’s only whispered.”
“You’re going to need to be more detailed.”
“I’ve heard that the child of the gods has helped those who are cursed,” I told her, thinking of Jole. “That she has aided them, given them death with dignity.”
She wet her lips. “Who has said such things?” she asked.
“A few of the guards,” I said, which wasn’t true. One guard had said it—one dying guard. “I didn’t believe them at first, to be honest.”
“Well, you should’ve stuck with your initial reaction,” she said. “They’re mistaken if they think I would commit outright treason against the Crown.”
I knew she wasn’t being truthful. “Didn’t I just tell you that I was a good judge of character?”
“So?”
“So, I know you’re lying and I understand why you would. Those men speak of you with such awe that before I even met you, I half-expected you to be a child of the gods,” I told her. “They would never report you.”
“That may be the case, but you heard them talking about it. Others could hear them, as well.”
“Perhaps I should be clearer in what I said about hearing rumors. They were actually speaking to me,” I clarified. “Since I, too, have helped those who are cursed die with dignity. I did so in the capital and do so here, as well.” Which was true. Jole wasn’t the first, nor would he be the last.
Her lips parted as she stared at me. Clearly, she hadn’t expected me to say that.
“Those who come back cursed have already given all for the kingdom,” I told her. “Being treated as anything other than the heroes they are, and being dragged in front of the public to be murdered is the last thing they or their families should have to go through.”
She continued staring, but a faint sheen appeared in those jewel-green eyes. A moment passed. Then another as we stared at each other. I didn’t know what she was thinking. Damn, I didn’t know what I was thinking. She’d shocked the fuck out of me tonight. Multiple times. It was a lot to process. And I was sure she didn’t know what to think of me, either. It was clear that she didn’t entirely trust me, not with her secrets, at least, and I needed her trust.
I wanted it.
But I wouldn’t get that tonight.
I leaned forward in the chair. “I’ve kept you up long enough.”
She raised an eyebrow. “That is all you have to say about me being on the Rise?”
“I ask only one thing of you.” I rose. “The next time you go out, wear better shoes and thicker clothing. Those slippers are likely to be the death of you.” I glanced at the too-thin gown and almost groaned. “And that dress…the death of me.”
GOOD GRACES
“Why are you keeping
your silence?”
Frowning, I turned to Vikter.
We’d been standing in the quiet while Tawny helped Penellaphe ready herself for the summons. The Teermans had to address the people of the city following the Craven attack. Too many had died for them to write it off as a small incident. “What am I keeping my silence on?”
Alert and always-wary blue eyes met mine. “That she was on the Rise.”
I spared a glance at the door, images of her aiming an arrow at me alternating with the vision of her standing in her bedchamber, unveiled with her hair a wild tumble over her shoulders. “Why didn’t you ask this of me when I came to you last night?” I’d gone to him as soon as I left her chambers, partly out of irritation and strategy. I wanted to know why the fuck he’d been out beyond the Rise when he was supposed to be guarding her. I also figured that if she told him before I did, he would think I was keeping something from him. That could lead to him being more wary than he already was, which would further lead to him poking around until he began discovering all the other, more important things I was keeping from him.
“I had a chance to sleep on it,”
Vikter retorted. “So, I’m asking you now.”
“Am I not supposed to keep what I saw a secret?” I asked. “Should I have reported her to His Grace?”
I took a deep breath as he turned to face me. “I asked you a serious question, Hawke.”
“As did I of you,” I countered.
His patience was about as thin as his mouth was becoming. So was mine. We had that in common at the moment. “You know damn well she’s not supposed to be outside the castle without a guard, let alone on the Rise.”
“Technically, I did report her.
To you—the one who was supposed to be watching her last night,” I pointed out, and he snapped his jaw shut so hard I swore I heard his bones creak. “Perhaps she wouldn’t have been out on the Rise if you had remained at your station.” I let that sink in. “At least now I know why you would leave the Maiden unguarded during a Craven attack.”
Vikter said nothing to that.
“However, I have a feeling that she would’ve found her way out there even if you had remained at her door,” I continued, returning my attention to the closed door, thinking of her reasons for being on the Rise. “She told me why she needed to be out there.”