I froze.
Shit. Oh, shit.
I shrank back, terrified at how much I’d just revealed. It had felt so easy, so natural to show him the parts of myself I never let anyone else see. But he was still a Descended Prince—and I’d just flashed the knife I’d been hiding behind his back.
“I misspoke. I’m not… I wouldn’t—”
“Diem,” he said again, firmer this time, his dark brows furrowing.
“I… I didn’t mean—”
“I know what you meant.”
Fuck.
I started to pull away, but something in his eyes—something bright and tenderly guarded—held me still.
“You’ve asked me why I serve you,” he said. “This, my Queen. This is why.”
I shook my head, too scared to even breathe. “I don’t understand.”
“More than any of the other Kindred, Blessed Mother Lumnos loved the mortals. She never wanted them forced into submission—she commanded her Descended to guard them from harm, not be the cause of it.” He took my face in his hands, cradling it in his palms. “Even before you had the Crown, I felt her urging me toward you. The more I see of you, the more I understand why. She wants change, and she believes you can achieve it.” His thumb brushed across my cheek. “And so do I.”
I could do little more than gape in silence. Though I knew Luther harbored sympathies for the mortals… was it possible our goals were truly aligned?
“I do want that,” I finally stammered, “I want that more than anything, but what can I do? I can barely get through a day without getting myself killed.”
“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are the bravest person I’ve ever met, and you are resilient, even when you fail. You are unswerving in defense of those you love and the things you believe in. You never stop fighting—”
“Those things don’t make me wise, Luther, they make me reckless.”
“They make you the Queen that we need. I know you have no fondness for the Descended, and yet you see beyond the blood that runs in a person’s veins. I have seen that in the kindness you’ve shown Perthe, my family… even Aemonn, for Kindred’s sake. And I saw it tonight, in the mercy you asked me to show the Guardians. Any other Descended Crown would have slaughtered them, and any mortal Crown would have let them slaughter us. But you…” He looked at me like a flower raising its head to the life-giving sun. “You chose the harder path. If we ever wish to see peace in this land, we need a leader like that—a leader like you.”
I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the weight of his words and the calling he was laying at my feet.
I arrived here with an ill-thought-out plan to destroy the Descended. Though I still believed their unjust rule needed to be brought to ashes, I had found good people here, people that I cared about and wanted to protect. And I knew firsthand that the rebels were no innocents, either.
There had to be a better way.
A war was coming. Two sides were preparing. But maybe instead of joining an army… I could lead one.
Maybe I could become one.
Luther tipped his forehead until it lay flush with mine, our eyes closing as we bathed in the charged air humming around us. “You are my Queen, and I am your sword. Point me at your enemies, and watch them fall. Lead this world, Diem, and I will follow you—into war, into death, into the tundra of hell itself.” He took my palm and set it against his chest, just above the patch of unscarred skin that lay beneath his jacket. “You are the fate my heart was spared for. As long as it beats, you will never fight alone.”
My own heart exploded, filling my body and straining against my skin, my emotions too vast to be contained. He shifted his face just enough, our noses grazing as his lips came dangerously close. My hand slid up his neck and wove into his hair, fingers trembling with restraint as I fought the urge to close the distance.
Lust. Physical attraction. Nothing more…
“What would happen,” I breathed, “if we gave into this thing between us?”
“I don’t know,” he said roughly. “But that question consumes my every thought.”
His chin lifted almost indiscernibly.
Waiting for me. Letting me choose.
I swallowed hard. “At the dinner, you said you had no interest in marrying me, only in serving me. Was that… did you…”
The unasked question hung in the silence, every second thick with anticipation. It felt as if my future was holding its breath, waiting for his answer as eagerly as my heart.
“Every person in this room wants something from you,” he said after a heavy pause. “They look at you, and they see the things they want to take. I know, because I lived it. From the moment I became heir, everyone wanted to be either my friend or my lover. When you took the Crown, I swore to be different—to serve your goals, not mine. I told myself that even if you had no one else, you would at least have me. I never wanted to become just another person who wanted to steal a piece of you for themselves.”
He let out a shuddering sigh. “And I have failed. Completely, irreversibly failed. I don’t just want a piece of you—I want them all.” His thumb raked across my lower lip. “I want every breath, every laugh, every tear. Every taste of your mouth, every inch of your skin. I want to kneel at your feet, soaked in the blood of your enemies, then worship your body until you scream my name.” His hands slid to my hips and tugged me closer. “Yes, Diem, I want to serve you—in every way a man can.”
I couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe.
“I want to burn alive in that fire in your eyes. I want it to melt me down and forge me into the weapon you need me to be. I want to stand by your side for the rest of my life, and I don’t need you to marry me and make me a fucking king to do it.”
“Luther,” I rasped, begging—for what, I wasn’t sure.
“I pledged you my loyalty, and you have it, no matter your choice. But I cannot keep lying to you or to myself. I want all of you, Diem.” His lips brushed against mine, his words breathing straight into my lungs. “You already have all of me.”
The music crescendoed to its final note, and the applause of the crowd shattered our cocoon. I staggered back, flushed and blinking. Suddenly, Eleanor was murmuring something in my ear, and then Aemonn was there, looping my arm around his and tugging me toward the remaining guests to say our goodbyes. All of it was a confusing haze—the lights too dim, the voices muffled and far away.
Except him.
Luther’s smoldering gaze held mine as the crowd consumed me and exploited me for every last ounce of influence they could siphon. When the throng of faces had nearly blocked him from my sight, he raised his palm to his chest, just above his heart, dipped his chin, and walked away.
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
“I’d say that was a successful ball, don’t you think?”
Eleanor nudged me with her shoulder as we walked arm-in-arm to the palace’s formal meeting rooms. Today was the first of the House Receptions and my first time with Ulther’s Crown Council at my side, along with the additions of Eleanor and my father.
“No one died,” I agreed. “That’s a positive.”