My heart picks up a frantic pace as Theo roughly slides open the screen door.
“I’m fucking done with them—” He looks up from his phone, and I swear his soul exits his body when our eyes meet. His heel slips, and he grips onto the doorframe to keep himself from falling on his ass, pressing his phone over his heart. “Jesus fucking Christ, what are you doing here?”
He’s looking at all of us, but clearly talking to me.
Sadie turns in her seat, her eyes going comically wide. I’ve shown her pictures of Theo, but he is a million times more potent in person. “Wow.”
“Yeah, that’s a universal reaction,” Thomas murmurs, throwing Theo a wave over his shoulder. “Hey, man.”
Theo runs a hand through his hair, giving my brother a distracted “Hi.” He clears his throat, his gaze lingering on me before he turns to Paul. “I didn’t realize you had company.”
“I told you I was having Noelle over when we had dinner last night,” Paul says. His expression vacillates between concern and amusement. “I knew you weren’t paying attention. You had your nose in that phone all night.”
Theo blows out a breath. “Sorry, I . . . was distracted.”
“Are you all right?” Paul’s tone is careful, and I scan Theo for signs of damage. Physically, he’s as aggressively handsome as ever, wearing those old Levi’s and a plain gray T-shirt that presses up against his body as a breeze picks up. Who can blame it? It’s probably a great body to be pressed against.
It takes me three seconds and a subtle head shake to remember why I was looking at him in the first place.
Something is wrong, and it’s not physical, but I knew that. He came ripping out here like a bat out of hell, talking about—
I’m fucking done with them.
Who are they?
I don’t even realize I’ve said it out loud until Theo responds. “Sometimes it’s okay to keep the questions inside your mouth.”
“That’s what I tell her,” Thomas says.
“No one asked you,” I shoot back.
“No one asked you, either,” Theo says without heat. In fact, I see a brief flash of dimple, a lightning strike against his cheek.
I meet Sadie’s gaze—she’s been watching all of this with interest. “I told you.”
I’ve spent at least three cumulative hours talking about our enemy vibes.
“You’re right.” Sadie nods. “But I mean . . .” he’s hot, she finishes in silent best friend shorthand.
I raise my eyebrows. You can’t overcome that personality.
Her mouth purses thoughtfully. Can’t you? Not even for one night?
Theo looks between us, then directs stern eyebrows at me. “Stop talking about me.”
“We weren’t talking about you,” I lie.
Thomas snorts.
“I’ll come back later,” Theo says, already starting to back up.
Paul starts to stand. “Do you need to chat?”
“No, no.” Theo holds up the hand clutching his phone. It’s lighting up like a July Fourth sky. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Disappointment blooms without my permission, but before I can force it down, Paul says, “Stay, Teddy. You’ll probably want to hear this.”
Theo’s midnight gaze moves to me. “Somehow I doubt it.” My hand smooths over the map in reflex, and his attention drops there before bouncing back to my face. “You didn’t have enough time with that on Tuesday?”
“I’m borrowing it.”
“Why?”
I don’t want to tell him, but he’ll find out eventually anyway, especially if Paul wants to come along.
God, does he really?
I lift my chin, trying to project an air of confidence. “Because I’m going on this trip.”
I expect him to make some derisive remark, but after the initial surprise, his face softens into something like understanding. “I see.”
“And so am I.” Paul smiles over at me. “If you don’t mind, that is.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
Ah, there’s the reaction I was expecting. Theo’s expression twists with disbelief as he stands to his full, distressingly attractive height.
Paul squares his shoulders. “We didn’t get a chance to discuss it, since you walked in right as I told Noelle, but I’d like to join her.”
Theo looks at me, eyes flashing, like this is somehow my doing. I hold up my hands. “I haven’t even had a chance to process this. Turn your angry eyes elsewhere.”
“Are you or are you not trying to drag my granddad on a multiday, multistop trip down memory lane?”
I cross my arms, glaring up at him. “I’m not dragging anyone. I told Paul I needed to borrow the map to go on this trip, and right before you burst in here like the Hulk, he said he wanted to join me. I would love his company”—I smile at Paul so he knows I’m accepting his request before turning my murder eyes back on Theo—“but I’m not forcing anyone into anything. I’m doing this for myself. If Paul wants to join me, that’s his prerogative.”
Theo’s mouth twitches.
I point at him. “Do not smile, I’m being authoritative right now.”
“Uh-huh. Don’t quit your day job, Shepard,” he says.
Thomas chokes on his water, and I shoot him a look while Sadie elbows him in the side. But Theo’s not paying attention anyway; he’s facing off with Paul, his arms crossing over his chest.
“Why do you want to do this?” he asks. “Is this about Kathleen? Is this some wish fulfillment thing?”
Paul shakes his head. “Kat and I had our closure. I’d like to be there for Noelle if she has questions or needs support. In fact, I’d love to tell her the whole story as we go.” He reaches over to take my hand, and I have to work extraordinarily hard not to burst into tears. The thought of doing all of this at once is an overwhelming mix of joy and grief. Across the table, Thomas sends me a quiet, understanding look.
Theo doesn’t miss my struggle with emotions, but then again, he doesn’t miss much.
Paul’s voice dips as he continues, “And I’ve been kicking around one house or another since Vera died, Teddy. I’d like to get back out into the world, even if it’s just for . . .” He trails off expectantly.
“Two weeks,” I supply.
“Two weeks. I need this as much as Noelle does.” He levels his grandson with a look. “And, I suspect, as much as you do, too. Travel’s always done you good.”
My heart leaps into my throat as Theo scoffs. Across the table, Thomas and Sadie are staring between the three of us, eyes wide. Sadie’s go even wider when they meet mine, as Paul’s implication takes root.
He wants Theo to come on this trip, too? I resist the urge to scream out “NO.”
“I can’t leave,” Theo says into the bloated silence.
“Why not?” Paul asks. It’s the most confrontational I’ve ever heard him.
“Because I—you know why.” Theo gestures to him with a wild flick of his wrist. “And you shouldn’t go, either. You’re not thirty anymore.”