Theo doesn’t respond, at least not with words. Instead, he catches my mouth with his, kissing me until we’re both breathless.
“I’m glad my granddad knows,” he says against my lips. “Now I get to touch you whenever I want.”
“Purposefully?” I tease.
He presses a kiss to my forehead, murmuring, “None of my touching has ever been accidental.”
I close my eyes, my heart swelling, all the words I have left to say growing in my throat until it’s so tight I’m nearly choking.
“You can have the bathroom first. Get in that shower before I climb in there with you,” Theo says, pushing me back from the precipice.
“Whatever. Water conservation is extremely near and dear to my heart.”
He grins, backing away down the hall. His eyes stay locked on me, so intent they feel like X-rays. Like he can see everything written all over me.
Am I that transparent? Paul caught on to us long ago, apparently. “When Paul said he’s known from the beginning, when do you think he meant?”
Theo pauses, palm pressed to his bedroom door. “I don’t know.”
But something in his expression makes me wonder if he does, and he just doesn’t want to say it out loud.
* * *
Our two-hour Jeep tour takes us on the Broken Arrow Trail. The road is bumpy as hell, and Theo and I take turns asking Paul if he’s okay. Finally, he tells both of us to knock it off, a giant grin on his face as the wind whips through his hair.
The rocking motion of the Jeep sends my body into Theo’s again and again, a distracting mimic of the way we move together. At one point, he grins over at me, pressing his thigh hard against mine.
We stop at a stunning lookout abutted by red rock formations. The striations in them, which our guide reminds us show the passage of millions of years, make me feel like a speck of dust in the infinite stretch of time. How lucky that this is the moment I landed in. How temporary everything feels when surrounded by a landscape that was here long before us and will be here long after we’re gone.
That day in Zion when we went swimming, Paul told us to take heart, that nothing lasts forever. Maybe these rocks will, but it’s a beautiful and painful reminder that no feeling does, bad or good. No moment or mistake.
After I take some photos, Theo and I read the letter Paul gives us, a sweet one where Gram lists out the reasons she loves him. If she was feeling anxious, she didn’t mention it, though Paul tells us at times she was wracked with it. I know a bubble when I see it. From this letter, it’s clear they were in one.
Sedona is allegedly filled with vortices, magical, healing energy that comes from the earth itself, and I swear I feel Gram slipping her hand into mine. If everything else is temporary, at least the grief that clutches at me is, too. I let it wash over me so I can cling to the peace that follows. I close my eyes and tilt my face toward the sun, imagining it’s her hand on my cheek, telling me that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Doing exactly what I’m meant to do.
So, it shouldn’t surprise me that when we stop at Bell Rock for another photo op and I step off to the side to check my email, there’s one I never could’ve predicted.
It does surprise me, though. It shocks me so thoroughly that I nearly slide off the boulder I’m seated on. Theo, who’s become my bodyguard against any surface I could fall off, shoots me a warning look. But his eyes widen with concern when he sees my expression.
He jogs over, Paul moving at a more placid pace behind him. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“I . . .” I stare down at my phone screen, then look back up at Theo. “This new boutique resort in Tahoe emailed me. They said they’ve been following our story on TikTok and are obsessed with it, and they love my photography. They’re opening soon, and they asked if I could come up and take some promotional shots of their property and amenities, and create some content on my account.”
“Yeah?” Theo reaches for my phone, then pulls back, silently asking for permission. I hand it over, and he reads the email, his eyes moving back and forth over the screen rapidly. Paul peers over his shoulder, pulling out his readers. I watch both men take in the information, their mouths pulling into twin smiles as they read.
“Noelle, this is wonderful.” Paul moves around Theo and comes toward me, arms outstretched.
I leap up and step into his embrace, still processing what this means. It’s an honest-to-god job doing something I love. I have no idea how much it’ll pay—the email said we could discuss—and it’s not like I’ll be able to move out of my parents’ house based on this alone. But it gives me a sense of validation that nothing else has in so long.
A leap of faith taken when I had no faith left has turned into this.
Paul squeezes me tight. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. And your grandma would be so proud, too.”
My heart swells. “She would, wouldn’t she?”
He grins. “Absolutely.”
I pull back, splitting a look between him and Theo, who’s watching the two of us. “I know it’s just one job. It’s not life changing, but . . .”
“A career in photography isn’t easy, if that’s what you want,” Paul says. “But this is a wonderful step. You’ve made so many of them during this trip, and you should be proud of that.”
It swells in my chest. “I am.”
Paul looks at Theo, then back at me with a wink. “I’ll meet you at the Jeep.”
“Folks, we’re going to head out in a minute,” our guide calls.
Theo ignores him, stepping closer to me. He slips my phone into my hand, then cups my face in his. His thumb moves over my flushed cheek. “I have a secret, and I should’ve told you earlier.”
“What?”
He shakes his head, grinning. “I fucking knew you could do this. You’re so good, Noelle.”
His confession is a shot of adrenaline to my heart. It starts beating double-time. “Don’t go crazy with the praise, okay? First of all, it’s not like you—”
He lets out a huff of insulted laughter. “What, I’m not me if I’m complimenting you?”
I give him a pointed look, running a hand over his T-shirt clad chest. “Take it down a notch with the conclusion jumping. You can compliment me, you’ve just got to put a little spice in it.”
He course corrects. “You’re so good, it’s annoying.”
I nod, satisfied. “Better.”
“You’re intensely weird,” he says affectionately.
“A little soft on delivery, but otherwise perfect.”
He rolls his eyes, grabbing my wrist so he can tow me closer. “You said first of all before, so what’s the second of all?”
“Oh, right. Second of all, it’s exciting, but it’s small. And just one job.”
For a beat, he appraises me. “You have no idea how amazing you are, do you?”
“I—” I swallow the urge to diminish this moment. I need this win, and I’m going to take it. I’m going to let him see me grab it with both hands. “I feel pretty amazing right now, actually.”
His gaze turns warm and tender. I’m some soft candy melting in the heat of it. “You’re good at this.”