Finally, she says, “Okay. In the interest of transparency, I have plans in a bit, so I can’t give you an intense reading, but I’d love to do a quick session for both of you. You down?”
“How much is this going to cost?” Theo asks.
She spreads her hands in front of her. “I’m doing this for my own curiosity, friend. You can tip if it resonates, but this reading is selfish.”
I lean forward. “Selfish how?”
“The energy between you two is pretty intense. It feels old.”
“Old?” Theo echoes, insulted.
Flor laughs. “Old, like multigenerational. Like lots of forces and people worked to get you together. You’re very, very connected, and that’s rad.”
Theo catches my eye. It’s obvious he’s struggling to believe this, though a faint blush spreads across his cheeks.
But her phrasing tickles my curiosity. I’m determined to leave myself open to her message, whatever it is. When she says multigenerational, does she mean Gram and Paul?
I’m not so high on myself that I presume to know everything about how the world works. It’s true that I don’t know what after death looks like, but I do feel Gram sometimes, in the stars above me at night. Right now in this room. What if Flor can feel that, too? What if she feels all of the things that had to happen to get us here?
“You go first,” Theo says to me, his fingers lacing tighter through mine.
I turn to Flor, my heart beating heavily. “Okay.”
She shuffles the tarot deck. A card falls out almost immediately, and she picks it up, humming again. As more cards join the first on the table, varying emotions cross over her face like a passing storm.
“Mmm.” She nods, as if someone’s just whispered in her ear. “Got it.”
Theo’s gaze is hot on my cheek, but I focus on Flor. There’s an energy building between us, a vibration in my chest. Fingertips against my neck.
Her eyes meet mine, and it’s like a lightning strike into the center of me. “It’s been a lot, huh?”
My throat tightens so quickly I can only let out a choked noise. Beside me, Theo angles his body toward mine, his knee pressing up against my leg.
“You’ve had these massive expectations for a very long time, and they haven’t been met. It’s worn you down to the point that you swung the pendulum all the way to the other side. You went from all the expectations to none.” Flor looks down at the cards, tapping one, and I lean in. The card is a beautiful swirl of green, white, black, and yellow, with a skeleton that hangs over the word DEATH. My heart drops. “You had guidance, though, someone in your life who showed up for you when you couldn’t show up for yourself, and that kept you afloat in a space that wouldn’t have been sustainable otherwise.”
I nod, barely, playing with Theo’s fingers anxiously.
Flor leans forward. “That guidance isn’t with you anymore, right?”
“Right,” I whisper as goosebumps bloom on my skin. That’s not a coincidence, it can’t be. “It was my grandma. She died six months ago.”
“Yeah, so, most times the death card means transformation, but sometimes it can mean earthly death,” she says. “In your case, and especially with the other cards I pulled, I think it’s both. Your grandma’s death cracked your world down the middle. It put you in the shadows that were lurking around the corner anyway. A soulmate doesn’t have to be romantic and can serve a very specific need in your life. You can have one your whole life or many.” At this, her eyes flicker to Theo, like she’s making sure he’s listening, before landing back on me. “She was one of yours. She was rooted in every aspect of your life, so when she died, those roots pulled up and left everything a fucking mess. I don’t blame you for retreating, friend. It’s heavy.”
I brush at my suddenly wet cheeks, flushing with embarrassment.
“Maybe—” Theo starts to say, but I shake my head, my eyes locked with Flor’s.
“Keep going.”
“Here’s where it gets a little magical,” Flor says with a wink. “Like I said, the death card also means transformation, and I pulled the wheel of fortune card, too. You’re in the middle of all this. It’s an intense time of change for you. Everything feels upside down, but that’s just your perspective shifting. You’re seeing glimpses of the way things could be, aren’t you?”
It comes in snapshots: The beginning of this trip to now, my camera in my hands, Gram’s letters. Paul and his cardigans, his kind smile and even kinder words. Theo and his X-ray eyes. The moments I’ve captured on film and video. That email from the Tahoe resort. Home. Theo’s house and the spaces I could fill—his kitchen for dinner, his bed some nights.
That last visual sinks its claws in. “I do. But I question if it’s real.”
Flor places her hands over the cards, as if absorbing their energy. “That’s normal. You’re in build mode, and that feels scary. But give yourself credit for your bravery. That’s what’s going to carry you through. You think you’ve given up, but you haven’t. You’re just resting before you build the rest.”
Sometimes hope hurts when it grows too quickly. Right now, it’s so big inside my body I want to scream. Instead, I let out a breath. “Thank you.”
Flor gives me a warm, guileless smile, like she didn’t just strip me down to my bones in front of the man who’s stripped me nearly that far.
“All right, now it’s Stern and Silent’s turn.” Flor sweeps my cards up and starts her shuffle over again.
Theo leans over, whispering, “You okay?”
I nod. “It’s just intense. You’ll see.”
He makes a sound in his throat, full of doubt, but then Flor murmurs, “Wow,” and his penetrating gaze darts to her.
“What?” he asks, edgy.
Flor inspects the spread, her eyebrows arched high. “Well, it looks like your world is crashing down around you.” She pins him with neon eyes, placing her fingers over two cards. “Does that resonate?”
She says it like she already knows it does. It’s telling when Theo doesn’t respond.
Her appraisal is brief but keen, and she holds up the card. It’s a stone tower, aflame, with people falling out of it. “This card means crisis and transformation. Something’s happening or happened that’s shaken the foundation of everything you know. I also pulled the ten of swords—” She pushes it across the table, the corner catching in a wood grain. The pop it makes sounds like thunder against Theo’s silence. “These swords have found their target. Could be you, could be a relationship. There’s a sense of betrayal, right?”
“Did I get the two worst cards because I don’t believe in this or what?” Theo asks, but his voice is unsteady.
“They’re not the worst cards,” Flor argues. “I mean, listen, does anyone want these cards, especially together? Knee-jerk response would be no. But this is destroying what no longer serves you so you can come back stronger, in a different way. You’re preparing for a transformation.”
Theo releases my hand, pointing between the two of us. “How can we both be transforming?”