I might’ve crossed a line. Avery’s a big girl and can make her own decisions…but she cried in my lap last night over what this guy did to her. It’s not right. “You want to get good at sex to win him back?”
“No, Finn. I just want to feel better about myself.” She hunches her shoulders. “I don’t know how else to say it. I want sex to be exciting, not so nerve-racking that it’s scary. That’s all.”
“Okay,” I say and her eyes perk up, so I quickly clarify. “Okay as in I get it, but I need some time to think about it, Avery. It’s not because I’m not interested. It’s because…”
Because we can talk. And you’re fun. You’re comfortable enough with me to ask me to teach you how to have good sex? It’s clear we already like each other. If we fuck, we’re going to fall for each other. I’m sure of it. And neither of us can handle that right now. Neither of us can handle the fallout of yet another breakup. Not to mention Avery’s clearly not over her ex. Nora still haunts me…
This is a terrible idea.
“Because what?” Avery asks, reminding me I didn’t finish my sentence.
“I just need to think about it. I want to help you, but I don’t want to hurt you. I have to think about what that means.”
She gives me a small smile as she nods. “Okay. Think about it. In the meantime, let’s get back to business.” She sits a little taller again. “I seriously think you should consider a new logo.”
It could’ve gone worse…
Definitely.
Maybe.
Shit. What is wrong with me? Finn intoxicates me with his humble sexiness. It’s annoying really. He tempts me on purpose, just to prove I’m like every other woman in the world—enraptured by him. But then he adds to the pile by playing the good guy? Concerned about hurting me? Not wanting to be reckless about casual sex? Who is this guy? It’d be easier if he was just a sexy pig. But it’s clear there’s way more to Finn than I realize.
I shut off the hot tub and cover it back up. Finn got a call and left ten minutes ago, abandoning me with a heaping serving of regret. I can’t believe I asked him to teach me sex. I grumble out loud in frustration. I’ve never felt more stupid in my life.
I collect the empty beer bottles from the deck and rinse them before I throw them away. It’s 9:48 on a Saturday night, but it feels more like a stroke past midnight. The pumpkin has smashed. My dress is torn. My horses are rats. The spell is officially over.
Walking past the aquarium in the living room, I wish Cherry a good night. Sweet fishy dreams, my friend. The little red fish, whom I’ve dubbed she, is darting across the tank again, back and forth, back and forth, tirelessly. I’ll see you in the morning, you little spaz.
I’m on the fourth stair when I hear a heavy pounding at the door. What in the world? Palmer? No. The police? Still in my swimsuit, I tighten my towel around my body and head to the front door.
I open it a crack until I realize it’s Finn. Opening the door wide, I see he’s flushed and a little sweaty. He takes a step forward and leans into the doorframe wordlessly.
“Hey,” I say. “Did you forget something? Or did you miss me already?” I tease. He doesn’t match my humor. His brooding eyes are dark. Clouded with something heavy.
“You’re really serious about this?” he asks in a strained mumble.
What is wrong with him?
“You want me to teach you how to have good sex?”
Why be ashamed? My foot is already in my mouth. I should go ahead and swallow it.
“Yes.”
Finn walks through the door, grabbing my hand as he passes. “It’s time for your first lesson,” he grunts as he leads me past the kitchen, to the staircase.
“Where are we going?” Dumb question, I know. Bedroom, obviously. But I’m really nervous.
“Where do you think?” he asks, sounding a smidge on the side of annoyance.
“Bedroom.”
“Closet,” he says over his shoulder as he pulls me up the stairs.
Oh no.
“The big mirror.” Finn tightens his grip around my hand. “I want you to see everything I’m about to do to you.”
12
Avery
I lost my virginity in the back of a Pontiac the summer before college. It was to a boy named Lucas. Thirteen years later, I don’t remember much about the mechanics. I just remember it being uncomfortable, brief, and just about the biggest letdown that year and that’s even after I got my rejection letter from Berkeley. Lucas praised me afterward, telling me we were so hot together, but what we did had nothing to do with together. I got nothing from it.
I was simply a vessel for his release.
I really think the way I lost my virginity cursed me and set the entire tone for my future sex life. Mason was the third guy I’d ever had sex with. Let down Lucas. Quick-to-come Cameron. And last, but not least…mundane Mason. But I loved him, so what was mundane, was tolerable. It was fine. I was fine.
Until tonight.
When the curse is broken.
Because the way Finn is looking at me like he’s going to devour me whole, makes me think this one night is going to be the redemption of my entire lackluster sexual saga.
Here. We. Go.
Finn lifts me like I’m light and places me on the counter in the middle of the master closet. I flinch when the cool granite touches the bare back of my thighs. That’s how you know this is a multimillionaire’s closet. Why the fuck do you need granite in a closet?
I swing my dangling legs out of nerves, my heels hitting the back of the cabinets like an antsy child.
Finn pulls off his shirt, disorienting me with his chest and abs that are so perfectly sculpted I want to touch them to make sure they’re real. He stands between my legs and presses his palms against the tops of my thighs to stop my fidgeting. “I know you’re nervous,” he says with a sly smile. I nod in reply, expecting him to tell me not to be, but he goes in a different direction. “You should be.”
“Should I?”
He scrunches his face. “Yeah, of course. I always get a little nervous when something really fucking amazing is about to happen.” It’s like a shot of adrenaline pools between my thighs.
My lips part in surprise. “See? How do you do that?”
Wrapping his muscular arm around my back, he runs his lips up and down my neck. I start to go hazy from his heady smell of sweat and cologne. He smells so damn good I want to taste him. “How do I do what, Avery?” he growls into my ear.
“You talk about sex like it’s natural.”
“It is.”
“You seem so sure this is going to feel good for both of us.”
He nods into the crook of my neck. “I am.”
“How do—”
“Are you still on your period?” he asks, interrupting my questioning.
I shake my head. “No, it was the tail end yesterday, completely gone today.” I clear my throat. “Would that have been a…should I not…you know. Is that a deal breaker for guys?” His forehead crinkles as he raises his brows.
“Not for me. Dex has the best walk-in shower to fuck in. It has a bench.”
He’s not wrong. I love Dex’s shower. There are two rain shower heads and massage jets in the center. His large built-in teakwood bench is clearly custom-made. Although, my stomach churns when I think about how Finn knows Dex’s shower is ideal for sex. He’s done it here before. I wonder how many other women he’s put in front of this mirror.