Avery holds out my sports coat and speaks before I can. “You’re up.”
I can’t help my smug smile. “I tried to sleep. A call woke me up. Not your call, which was a little disappointing.” I lean against the doorframe and she takes a tiny step backward, still holding my jacket out. “This might be better, though.”
“I’m crazy for bothering you this late, but you forgot your suit jacket. I wasn’t sure if you’d need it tomorrow.”
I cock an eyebrow. “For what?”
She sucks in her lips, her cheeks flushing. “You know…for like meetings or…meetings.” She snorts in laughter at her lame excuse as I take the jacket from her and toss it behind me. It hits the floor with a clank, the metal buttons meeting the hard floor.
“What’s up, Avery? Do you want to come in?” I hold out my hand, but she doesn’t take it. She only shakes her head and shrugs.
“The last time I had sex outside of a relationship is when I was seventeen. It was so awkward, I was happy to leave for college and never see him again.”
I nod along, unsure of where this is going. “Okay.”
“I’m not a hookup kind of girl, so this is new. Everything is new. I thought I was okay, but I couldn’t sleep. Tonight was…”
I raise my brows fully, feeling my forehead crinkle. “How was it?”
“Physically? Spectacular. By far the best I’ve ever had… But my heart feels a little empty right now. I guess I wanted to come by and ask you for more advice.”
“Being?” I scour her eyes, looking for a clue. Is she okay? Is this too much, too soon?
“Does it go away? How many hookups until sex doesn’t feel so…hollow?”
If you’d just take my hand and come upstairs, get under the covers with me, let me hold you, you’d know… It wasn’t just a hookup. “Honestly?” I let out a breathy, humorless chuckle. “I’ll let you know. According to my research so far, it’s a lot.”
She rolls her eyes. “Ah, dammit.”
I want her to come inside, but I know if I close the space between us, she’ll just back farther away. I have to play this carefully. I don’t even know what I’m playing for. Let’s say Avery and I give it a go…we’d be on a timeline. One summer to decide if we’re the real deal. That’s a lot of pressure for two people with broken hearts. Avery’s wounds are fresh. Mine are older, but they never really healed.
“Is that what you’re looking for?”
“Hm?” she asks, lifting her eyes to match my intense stare.
“Hookups? I thought you were a relationship kind of girl. Are you wanting to explore your options when you go back to California?”
Her laugh is bitter, mixed with a scoff like I said something ridiculous. “I just want to have options, Finn.” She points to my chest, then to hers. “We are different. You walk into a bar and you see options. I walk into a bar and just hope I’m even seen. It’s why…” She takes another little step backward as her eyes drop once more.
“Why what?” Don’t stop. Talk to me… Just come inside.
“Why I fell in love with Mason. He was the first guy to ever really see me. He was the only man to ever pick me over Palmer. It’s hard to look past her. She’s stunning, obviously—”
“She’s attractive, I’ll admit,” I interrupt. Avery bobs her head, pretending like my statement doesn’t offend her. How many times has she been passed over while her best friend gobbled up the attention? “But I think you put more stock in that than you should…”
“Huh?” Her face screws up in confusion. Ah, fuck it. I take a large step forward through my doorway. My bare toes nudge against the edge of her flip-flops.
“Real beauty isn’t loud and demanding. It’s subtle.” I tuck a loose strand of her rich, dark hair behind her ear. “Men look past you because you represent what they’re scared of. Palmer’s the kind of attractive you enjoy for the night. You have the kind of beauty you worship for a lifetime.”
She rolls her eyes and tries to step away, but I grab her by her shoulders.
“Stop that,” I command.
Her eyes bulge. Clearly, my tone startles her. “Stop what?”
“New lesson. You want your love life to be satisfying, right?”
She simply nods in response.
“Then learn to take a compliment. Stop flinching every time I tell you you’re beautiful.” Hooking my finger under her chin, I slide my arm around her waist.
“What’re you doing?” she asks in a whisper.
“Listen to me, okay?” Using my finger, I move her chin up and down, forcing her to nod. “Avery, look at me.”
Her eyes lift, but she’s trying to look over my shoulder. I’m not satisfied.
“Hey, I mean really look at me.” I try to control my breathing, but my chest tightens when her misty green eyes lock onto mine. “I noticed you in the car that day. Not Palmer. You’re exactly my kind of beautiful. I’m looking… I see you.”
At first, I think my finger is shaking, but turns out Avery’s chin is wobbling. “Okay,” she mumbles.
Shaking my head, I lean in a little closer. My lips are almost touching hers. “If I were to tell you you’re great at your job as a brand consultant, what would you say?”
“Thank you,” she says without hesitation.
“Why?” I stroke my thumb across her soft, warm cheek, still holding her head up with my finger tucked under her chain.
“Because I know. I’m great at my job because I work really hard. It doesn’t mean I can’t get better, but I know I’m good.”
“Exactly. So when I tell you you’re beautiful…” I press my lips against hers. It’s hardly a kiss. Just a curious, reassuring touch. “Just know it…say thank you.”
She finally smiles, understanding my message. But much to my dismay, she cradles my hand in both of hers before pulling it from her face. “Thank you, Finn. That was sweet.” She drops my hand but doesn’t pull away.
“What is it?” I study her clouded expression, her eyebrows angled, her thoughts clearly racing. It’s a familiar look and I can’t quite put my finger on it.
“Maybe that’s what went wrong with Mason. How could he want me if I didn’t want myself? Maybe he would’ve complimented me more if I had just said thank you. I always used to brush him off and tell him he was only saying things to placate me.”
I suddenly realize I recognize the look on her face. I used to wear it whenever Nora and I broke up. When we weren’t together, but I was still in love with her. Avery’s not ready. They just broke up. What was I thinking? You don’t forget four years in a couple of weeks.
“Maybe if I had talked to him more,” Avery continues, “it wouldn’t have ended like it did. Maybe I can learn to talk to men the way I can talk to you.”
I touch my knuckle to my lips and ask the question that’s been burning in my mind since the moment I met her. “Why do you talk to me like this? Why are you so at ease?”