“Baked potatoes, cereal—”
“Does cereal count as making something?” he asks with a teasing smile.
I proceed to roll my eyes. “And dip,” I finish, pointing to Dex’s kitchen table that is currently displaying five different bowls of various dips.
“Holy crap.” Finn follows my finger and assesses the table. “That’s a lot of dip.”
I nod so enthusiastically, my hair falls over my face. “I’m pretty passionate about dip.”
Finn chuckles. He smacks my ass casually, ignoring my girlish yelp as he passes by me. Finn sets his drink down and proceeds to pull the Saran Wrap off each of the glass bowls. “You made these just for me?” he asks, cocking one brow.
“Yep.” Slaved away all day.
He immediately shoves his finger into the first bowl, then shamelessly sucks it clean. “What the hell is this masterpiece?” He dunks his finger in again.
I proceed to fetch the new bag of pretzel rods off the kitchen island and hand it to Finn. He opens it with ease, gleefully dunking the thick pretzel stick into the dip once more. “Honey mustard but with a twist—I use spicy brown mustard and dijon. I know—it shouldn’t work, but it’s tasty, right?”
Mouth full, he nods and gives me a cheesy thumbs-up.
“Don’t fill up,” I say. “We still have buffalo chicken dip—yes, with actual chicken so I can try to pass this off as a real meal, French onion dip for the potato chips, I have French baguette for the bacon cheddar chive dip, and for dessert, banana cream pie dip with Vanilla Wafers.”
Finn looks at me the way you’d look at a puppy tripping over its big ears. Adorably…with a little pity. He’s silent, but his shoulders are shaking, so I know he’s laughing at me.
“What?” I ask. “Look, it’s the best I can do. I struggle in the kitchen…”
He shakes his head, a goofy expression on his face. “You are so cute. Never have I been treated to a feast of dips. This is a new standard for date night, by the way.” Grabbing the bowl of banana cream pie dip, he places a quick kiss on the top of my head as he passes me. “Can we start with dessert?”
Wait, date night?
“Of course.” I collect both of our drinks and a box of crunchy vanilla cookies and join him in the living room. He scowls at me when I join him on the couch, leaving at least a foot of space between us.
Raising up his arm, he invites me to cuddle into his chest and is less than pleased when he sees me grimace. “Okay, what’s with you tonight? Did I do something?” I don’t think anyone else in the world would notice, but I see it—Finn seems to shrivel in his seat. Just a hair. Almost unnoticeable…except I notice. “Are you upset with me?”
“Why would you think that?”
“No kiss hello. You only want to talk business tonight. You’re sitting over there like I’m contagious. I’m counting down the minutes until you start giving me the silent treatment.”
I roll my eyes so hard they strain. “I hate the silent treatment. Such a waste of time. I’d rather be in a screaming match than play the ice out game.”
Finn points to his chest emphatically. “Me too.” He shakes his head like he’s trying to shake off a bad memory. “It was my ex’s favorite game to play. After a while, I started picking up on the little tells that I’m in trouble. Starting with”—he gestures to the space between us—“she wouldn’t let me touch her.”
“Oh, hey—no.” I reach over to squeeze his knee. “Okay, I just…look, I feel guilty.”
He raises his dark brow. “Why?”
“Because all we do is talk about my needs. I promised to help you with your business and I haven’t been doing that. Every time we’re around each other, we seem to—”
“Get naked?”
“Exactly. Is this too much sex? It was just supposed to be a favor.” Leaning forward, I collect the energy drink from the coffee table and pop the lid. These are even more delicious when Finn brings them to me. It’s a telltale sign he’s thinking of me, even when we’re apart.
“It won’t last forever,” he says. My chest immediately tightens as the pang of rejection shocks me.
As a knee-jerk response, I nod enthusiastically, pretending like I’m not caught off guard. “I know. I wasn’t thinking this was serious or anything.”
“No, I mean, it’s fun right now because it’s new. It’s exciting. It always starts this way when you’re with someone new. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying it while it lasts. So yeah—it’s a lot of sex. Great. Let’s have a lot of sex while we can.”
Funny. Mason and I never had a honeymoon period. Did it fade? Absolutely. But I can’t remember it starting off passionate like this. Everything from my past relationship was so careful and calculated and…boring.
“Did you and Nora have a lot of sex?”
“Yes,” Finn responds without hesitation. “Pretty much daily when we were together.”
“Oh.”
“But it wasn’t like this.”
The light flutter in my chest comes alive. My mouth begins to water in anticipation like he’s about to say something really important. All I have to do is ask. “Like what?”
“Nora used sex for control, I think. If I was having sex with her constantly, I couldn’t possibly have the time or energy to be having sex with anyone else. It wasn’t for enjoyment, it was more of a way to prove myself. To prove how much I loved her and wanted her, but even daily wasn’t enough. Nothing I did made her feel less insecure. I was always in trouble. I’d get side glares, silent treatment, hell, sometimes she’d all out scream at me in public. She never trusted that I loved her and only her. No matter what I did, there was always something wrong. I literally was afraid to be around the woman I loved because I knew our next big blowout was just around the corner.”
How strange. Here I never thought people who looked like Finn would have intimacy issues. We were both starving in our prior relationships—just starved of different things.
“That sounds a little like…” I bite down on my lip, debating whether it’s my place to say. But we’re friends. This is something I’d say to any friend. “Emotional abuse.”
Finn closes his eyes and nods. “It took me a really long time to admit that. It didn’t sound manly to admit I was being treated poorly in my relationship.”
I wrap my hand around his fingers and squeeze. “I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re doing better now.”
Returning my warm smile, he brings my fingers to his lips. “If you’re thinking I’m only doing this so you can save my business, you’re wrong. I like being around you. You make it easy to smile.”
Oh geez. That jolt in my chest. The pulsing shocks and vibrating tremors taking over my body from the inside out are most definitely feelings. Real fucking feelings.
“But I’m starting to feel like I’m using you.” That’s a half-truth. More accurately, I’m starting to worry that I’m blurring lines. It started with no feelings. Now we’re at okay, just feelings for the summer. And I’m getting dangerously close to, heart freaking ripped to shreds when I have to leave this man and get back to reality. “I don’t want you to feel like my sex toy.”