“Why wait?” I ask. I don’t know how, even with all my pestering, there is still so much about this man that I don’t know.
He catches my hand, bringing it to his lips. “Now is not the time.”
“When will it be the time?” I ask, staring at his mouth.
“In truth, Laz, I am not sure,” he says, releasing my hand. “But I will know when it’s come upon us.”
Chapter 61
Interstate 10, Southern California
September, Year 27 of the Horsemen
It’s only after I’ve eaten breakfast and I’m preparing to get on Thanatos’s horse that the horseman’s earlier words echo in my head.
I am the one who can take the living and raise the dead. The one who can resurrect souls.
I pause mid-step.
The one who can resurrect souls.
I suck in a sharp breath.
My attention shifts to Death, who stands on the other side of his horse, packing up my water jug and a blanket into one of the saddle bags.
“You can resurrect people?” I ask, my voice hushed.
“Lazarus, you already know this,” he says. He doesn’t even pause in his work.
“No,” I say carefully, my skin pricking, “I know you can reanimate a person’s remains, but you said earlier that you can resurrect souls.”
That gets the horseman’s attention.
He pauses what he’s doing. After a moment, his gaze moves to me. His face is as cold and uncompromising as I’ve ever seen it.
“You can,” I breathe, reading the truth on his features.
I don’t know why, but the thought closes up my throat. Maybe it’s hope at Death’s abilities or maybe it’s resentment that he must’ve deliberately kept this from me until now. Had I not even caught the nuance, would he ever have admitted as much?
To be able to resurrect souls … That opens an entire realm of possibilities. Perhaps I don’t have to simply settle for Death giving up his task. Maybe he can also undo the damage he and his brothers have wrought.
All those people who have passed …
I could get my family back. All of them. My mother, my brothers, my sisters, their spouses and children. Even my biological parents, who were taken from me when Pestilence first rode through, perhaps they too could return …
I stride up to him and I’m desperate, so desperate. And of course this is why Thanatos never spoke about it. I grab his hand, holding it to my chest.
“The day I first met you, you had just taken over a dozen family members from me,” I say breathlessly. I can only imagine how feverish my expression must be.
Death casts me a wary glance. “And you want me to bring them all back for you,” he says.
Yes.
He’s already shaking his head. “Lazarus, you do not know what you are asking.”
“You’ve showed me every other one of your powers,” I squeeze his hand, “show me this one.”
“It is a damnable, unholy power,” Death’s voice rises. He removes his hand from mine.
“And your others are not?” I challenge. I’ve seen him kill off cities, collapse buildings, grow plants, change the weather, and raise the dead.
“No.”
“You are wrong,” I tell him fervently. “This one, this power, is a miracle.”
A muscle in his jaw jumps. “You think you understand my powers better than I do?” Death says hotly. “You think I am so blinded by my purpose that I cannot see the truth for what it is?” His nostrils flare. “There is a reason life begins with birth and not resurrection. This is no miracle,” he vows.
I don’t believe him, I do think he’s blinded by his purpose.
“Please,” I say, even though it’s futile. The man who won’t spare a single city definitely won’t bring someone back from the dead.
I feel my hope splintering apart, but I won’t let this go. I won’t.
The horseman stares at me for a long moment.
“Fine,” he growls.
I open my mouth, ready to argue— Fine?
… Does this mean he’s going to do it?
“Seriously?” It comes out as a hoarse whisper.
Death looks as incensed as I’ve ever seen him. Incensed, but resolved. “I will show you the futility of what you ask,” he says darkly.
I close my mouth, my pulse pounding so fast I feel vaguely ill.
He’s going to do it.
“Who would you like me to bring back?” he demands, the same angry gleam in his eyes.
My lips part as we stare each other down. There are so many people I could choose. My friends, my neighbors, my birth parents, my siblings.