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The Life She Wanted: A Novel(13)

Author:Anita Abriel

Pandora stood for a moment taking in the estate. Lillian’s father, Leland Clarkson, had made part of his money from the railroads that stretched from New York to Colorado. After that, he invested in coal mines to fuel the engines and founded a steel company to build the trains.

Inside, Lillian stood in the middle of a group of girls, showing off her diamond ring. Pandora hadn’t expected how much it would hurt to see Lillian, in a turquoise silk dress and looking even more radiant than last weekend.

As the girls moved into the living room, Pandora stayed a few paces behind. The room had a timbered ceiling and paneled walls decorated with hunting trophies. A stone fireplace took up one wall, and round tables with pedestal legs and glass tops were arranged throughout.

Lillian’s mother, Vivian, walked toward her. Vivian was quite young, with Lillian’s brunette curls and brown eyes behind dark lashes.

“I’m Vivian Clarkson. You must be Pandora,” said Vivian. “I saw you playing tennis at the Winthrops’ party last week at Rosecliff.”

Pandora wasn’t here to talk about tennis. She had to get the guests to notice her dress.

“I’ve played since I was a child.” Pandora nodded, eyeing Vivian’s dress. “What a lovely dress. Is it a Molyneux?”

Vivian glanced at Pandora in surprise.

“I bought it last year in Monte Carlo. How did you know?”

Edward Molyneux was one of Pandora’s favorite British designers. He was opposed to any kind of adornments, and his dresses were known for their simplicity.

“Molyneux has one of the most popular salons in Paris,” Pandora said offhandedly. She didn’t reveal that she’d never been to Paris, that she’d only read about Molyneux. “Greta Garbo is a big fan.”

“Lillian and I hadn’t packed enough dresses for all the parties and dances Owen and his family invited us to while we were in Monte Carlo,” Vivian recalled, gazing fondly across the room at Lillian. “I knew right away that something was growing between Owen and Lillian. They really are perfect for each other.”

Pandora expected to feel upset, but she found Vivian warm and friendly. Pandora couldn’t help but like her.

“I’m sure it will be a beautiful wedding,” Pandora said.

“The bride makes a wedding beautiful,” Vivian said wisely. “And being surrounded by her friends. Lillian didn’t have many friends growing up. She missed more than a year of school.”

Pandora remembered that Lillian attended the exclusive all-girls’ Spence School in New York. She had assumed that Lillian was popular.

“Lillian doesn’t talk about it, but it isn’t a secret.” Vivian noticed Pandora’s surprised expression. “She contracted polio when she was ten, during the New York epidemic of 1916. It’s not so bad for smaller children, but Lillian nearly died. She could hardly breathe, and we worried that she’d be paralyzed. I didn’t leave her sick room for months.

“When she improved, the doctor insisted we move to the mountains for her lungs. By the time we returned to New York, the girls at school had formed new cliques, and Lillian was left out,” Vivian said. “In a way, it brought us closer, but young women need girls their own age to confide in.”

Pandora knew she should feel sorry for Lillian, but it didn’t excuse Lillian’s bad behavior. And in a way, Pandora was envious. Vivian had changed her whole life to care for her daughter. Meanwhile, Pandora’s mother hadn’t loved Pandora enough to stay.

As Vivian led Pandora into the dining room, Pandora wondered if Vivian and Lillian had a deep mother-daughter connection that Pandora had never known. Pandora longed for something like that.

The bridal tea was held in the glass atrium. Old-fashioneds were served in glass jars, and there was champagne and fruit punch. Maids passed around plates of deviled eggs and oysters on the half shell. Pandora had never tried oysters before. They were prepared in a cream sauce and baked with bread crumbs and a squeeze of lemon. Pandora couldn’t wait to tell Esther about them.

After they finished eating, the conversation moved from where Lillian and Owen would spend their honeymoon to what style wedding dress Lillian should wear.

“When I get married, I’m going to ask Pandora to sew my trousseau,” Virginia announced.

Pandora smiled inwardly. Virginia had vowed she would never get married. She was only trying to help.

“I didn’t know Pandora designed dresses,” Lucy Vanderbilt commented.

“Pandora works for the Van Luyens.” Lillian smiled sweetly at Lucy. “Our housekeeper, Alice, does our sewing. It’s wonderful to have someone available to sew on a button or fix a zipper.”

The heat rose in Pandora, and it took all her willpower to hold her tongue.

“Pandora is much too talented to do that kind of sewing.” Virginia smoothed her skirt. “She made my dress, and the one she’s wearing.” She sipped her cocktail. “Pandora’s father is Willie Carmichael; he played at Wimbledon. A while ago, he was asked to play at Madison Square Garden. His photo was in the newspapers. Pandora was wearing one of her dresses and she was in the photo too. Afterward, the phone didn’t stop ringing with women who wanted to know where Pandora got her dress.”

Pandora chuckled to herself. Archie often said Virginia should be an actress. She had no problem telling little white lies.

It was true that Willie was asked to play at Madison Square Garden, but only because his former pupil, the French tennis star Suzanne Lenglen, was competing. The newspaper did carry a photo, but Pandora was in the back, and no one could see her dress. The only phone call she received was from a reporter wanting to know if Suzanne was retiring after her win at the French national championships in Auteuil.

Lucy Vanderbilt and the other girls studied Pandora’s and Virginia’s dresses with new interest.

“It is difficult to buy one’s whole wardrobe in Paris,” Lucy Vanderbilt reflected. She turned to Virginia. “That is the prettiest fabric. It reminds me of Chanel’s latest collection.”

Pandora couldn’t help but be pleased with Lillian’s tight-lipped smile. She was sure the other girls at the bridal tea would ask her to design dresses for them.

For the next week, Pandora jumped every time the phone rang. She was certain one of Lillian’s guests would order a dress. But the calls were never for her. Her stomach was tied in knots, and she had to force herself to eat.

She dreaded what would happen if her father found out what she had done. She could tell him the truth, but he might get so angry, he’d stop speaking to her. And she’d feel so ashamed. It was better to wait and hope that her plan worked.

On Saturday, Pandora was sitting in her bedroom reading a book on Madeleine Vionnet when her father burst through the door. She had never seen him look so angry.

“I came across this in the drawer,” he blurted as he waved an envelope. “You were supposed to mail it last week.”

Pandora gulped. It was the registration paperwork for secretarial school. And it was late.

“I went to the bank to withdraw the money and send it myself.” Willie kept talking. “The teller said you already took out the money. What did you do with it?”

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