“And why is that? Is there no longer trust between us?”
Her mind searched for words. She wished she’d been better prepared. “My father wished to keep it a secret. Secretly.” Keep a secret secretly? So stupid. She cursed herself.
James’s eyes narrowed as her heart beat in her ears. “Is that so?”
She shifted. “Yes.”
“And when will you be able to share this secret secret?”
Norah cleared her throat. “Soon. I hope.” And she did hope.
James nodded with a pondering frown. “It’s interesting.”
She frowned. “What is?”
“When you lie.”
Her stomach tumbled.
He stopped and turned toward her, his eyes holding her captive. “You always seem to have a valiant reason, as I’m sure you do now. But you are lying.”
Norah’s breath caught in her throat, and she nearly choked as she swallowed. She couldn’t bear his gaze, but she couldn’t turn away.
“Will we leave it at that?” he asked. “Or will you tell me what’s really going on? I care for you very much, Norah. Will you not let me help you?” He waited for an answer.
If Catherine was afraid he’d tell the rest of the council about her memory, he’d certainly tell them she was lying. She might as well come clean. And he did seem to care for her; she felt as though she could trust him.
“I don’t know where I’ve been,” she finally admitted. “Alexan—the lord justice found me in the Wild, where I’d been lost, but everything before that day is just… gone.”
James’s brow dipped, and his lips parted slightly before he drew them into a frown.
“Along with all my memories,” she added, “of everything and everyone.” She didn’t know what else to say. Her heart raced.
“Hmm.” His frown deepened.
Norah sighed with a small shrug. “Adrian discovered me as well. I’m finding I’m not very good at hiding anything.”
“You never were. We’ll figure out how to manage that.”
Her heart skipped a beat, and a wave of hope ran through her. “You believe me? And you still support my coronation?”
She stood under his heavy gaze, feeling the threat of his condemnation, until he finally said, “An Andell with no memories is still better than a gullible teenage girl and Lord Allan’s influence on the throne. Although, I’m not sure how many councilmen will share that view.”
It wasn’t quite the endorsement to bolster her confidence, but it was better than she’d feared.
He paused. “Who else knows?”
“Ummm… Adrian, Grandmother, and my guard. And Alexander, of course. Grandmother was adamant we tell no one else.”
He nodded. “She’s right. Listen to her, Norah. She knows how this game is played.”
It didn’t feel like a game, at least not a fun one.
“We’ll have to move up your coronation,” he said. “As soon as possible.”
Her chest tightened. “Wait, no”—she shook her head—“now that you know, you can help me. We don’t have to rush into this.”
“On the contrary; time is of the essence now. It has to be before the state. The council, particularly Edward, will want to meet with you first, but there’s absolutely no way you’ll make it through a state meeting without revealing yourself and your situation.”
Was that really so bad? “What would happen? Will they not support me as queen?”
James paused, mulling over her question, and then said cautiously, “I fear they won’t if you give them a reason not to.”
“Why?”
“Evangeline has a legitimate blood claim to the throne, and she’ll do as she’s advised.” He locked his eyes with hers. “That’s always been the concern with you, Norah.”
Her eyes narrowed. “So, they’ll look for a reason to give Evangeline the throne over me because they fear I won’t do as I’m told?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It sounded pretty close.”
“Even so, who do you think will make the best decisions for a kingdom?” he asked sternly. “A young girl who knows nothing, or a council with the wisdom of generations?”
Norah stepped back, her mouth open, but no words would come out.
James’s face was firm, and his mouth was pressed thin. “While we don’t always agree, those on the council carry Mercia’s best interests in their hearts. We make decisions for the good of our kingdom and the good of our people. Now, I will support you, Norah. I will help seat you on the throne, but you must listen and take it seriously. Do you understand?”
How else does one take a queenship if not seriously? She nodded, although she wasn’t entirely sure what she was agreeing to. Was this a commitment in exchange for his support? She didn’t know if she even wanted his support. Would Evangeline on the throne be such a bad thing? But she didn’t have the time to ask him. Or the courage.
“What of your selection for lord justice?” he asked, pivoting the conversation. “The crown is heavy, and you’ll tire with a kingdom on your shoulders. You must choose your lord justice wisely.”
Yes, that’s what she needed help with—a justice. “I was looking for you to help me with that. I wanted to discuss a few names with you: Lord Bosley, Lord Branton, and Lord… Seymour.”
He raised a brow. “Lord Semaine?”
Norah cursed herself. At least he already knew her secret. Otherwise, that would have been yet another giveaway.
“Choose Alexander,” he said firmly.
“W-Why?” she stammered in surprise.
“Why would you not?” he tossed back.
It was a fair question. One she had asked herself. He was justice now. Catherine had chosen him. Why shouldn’t she? She gave a small shrug. “It’s just a big decision, and it needs to be right.”
“Do you feel it’s not?”
“It’s not that.” She paused, searching for words. “I’ve only known him for a few days.”
“My dear,” James said with a rich warmth in his voice, “you’ve known him your entire life, and there’s not a man alive more committed to his duty or more loyal.” He paused. “You know, when Catherine selected him, the council worried he was too young and not ready. I worried that myself. But his father had prepared him for this role since he was a child, and over these past three years, he’s done a damn fine job at it. He’s kept this kingdom safe. His words are wise and true. He even manages to persuade Catherine at times, and that alone is a god’s feat.”
Norah couldn’t help a small smile. That did seem like a god’s feat. Her heart warmed. Alexander sounded exactly like the kind of man she should choose. “But what about the others?” she asked. “Like Lord Branton.” She couldn’t go back to her grandmother without at least one more name.
“No others. Choose Alexander, Norah. You asked my counsel, and I’m giving it.”
It wasn’t counsel that Catherine would be happy with.
“I guess I just need to think about it.”