“Do you ever think about how Roses and Ada have these, like, perfect lives and you and I—” Kasey stopped and shook her head like she was attempting to process the enormity of it. “I mean, duh—Grandma Mimi is obviously amazing, but—”
“Yeah, I think about it,” Caro said. She thought about it a lot. She had no choice. An easy, unstoppable jealousy ran through her like a hot current when she saw Ada with her daddy. Mr. Plum was crazy about his kids, and not only was Rosemarie’s dad so cool with Caro, but he was also cool with all of them. He never seemed to tire of them hanging at their house after school or eating everything they could find in the fridge, and although Ada’s mom could be uptight, she was hella fun once she had her wine for the night. She let the girls get away with everything without a peep. And Angie. Kasey’s mom, Angie, was, like, one of the nicest women Caro had ever met, so no, it didn’t make a lick of sense that she’d tied herself to Roy, who was probably the meanest man on earth. Caro’s parents didn’t care about her, and she’d known that her whole life, but yes, she had her grandma, and Kasey didn’t have much, but she had Angie.
An invisible thread that tied Caro and Kasey together a little bit tighter than it did with the others was that they knew exactly what pieces were missing in their life. Even so, they both tried their best to be grateful for what they had. To hold on to it, no matter what. They both knew how easy it could be to let that hope go and sink.
So they never let go.
“You know how much I’ll miss this when I’m gone off to school, so let’s agree to never talk about it, okay? You’ll have to find a way to send a fresh, hot pie to me in New York, or I’ll cry myself to sleep every night,” Kasey said, chopping and carefully wiping away her tears.
“Okay, but I never want to talk about you leaving, so let me tell you about this pie instead. This is Beau Bramford Pie. Figured I’d call it that since I’m clearly in love with the damn boy.” It was the first time Caro had said it aloud to Kasey （or anyone）。
Kasey just smiled at her, and Caro loved that she didn’t make a big deal about it. It was so obviously obvious it was ridiculous to point it out, and therefore, it required no response. Like Caro mentioning she had a human body or red hair. She moved to the stove and turned the burner down; the chocolate was melted and ready. The crusts already lined the pans. She was making two: one to keep and one to give Beau at work tomorrow. She’d lie and tell him she called it Almost Summer Pie, and he’d love it. She knew it.
“What would you put in a Silas Castelow Pie?”
“Apples. Cinnamon and apples. He’s a simple man,” Kasey said.
“Let’s make one of those for him tonight too. Are you tired yet?” Caro said, going back for more pie crust. There were never fewer than four pie crusts waiting in the freezer.
“No. Let’s stay up and bake. Then we can go drop it off on his porch like pie fairies.”
“You know, despite everything we have to deal with, aren’t we the best girls in the world?”
“Yes, we are. We’re the best girls in the world.”
2019
13
Rosemarie
When Rosemarie and Leo were finished singing at Taylor’s reception, she checked her phone and saw three missed calls and voicemails from Esme. Esme thought she was mad at her, and Esme wouldn’t take I swear I’m not mad at you for an answer, because she never did. Leo was at the table next to Rosemarie, leaning back with his tie undone talking to some guy she maybe half recognized but couldn’t remember. Leo knew everyone; Leo talked to everyone. Leo Bell never met anyone he didn’t find fascinating.
Rosemarie stepped left and scanned the scrum, finding her friends. Kasey and Silas were standing close to each other by the oak tree, their faces twinkled by the pink lights wrapped around the trunk. Silas was telling Kasey something funny enough to make Kasey touch his stomach and laugh. Silas was such an animated storyteller and so catholic in his interests he could’ve been talking about literally anything. Ada and Caro were obsessing over the cupcake display, which was decidedly not their job that night, but Rosemarie would never tell them that. They’d surely scratch and hiss if they couldn’t fret about all things Plum Bakery together. Rosemarie stepped away to listen to Esme’s voicemails.
Hey, Rosie. I hope tonight goes well! I’m so sorry I can’t make it down yet. I love you, okay?
I’m assuming Leo is your date tonight. I’m excited to meet him soon. I’ll be there soon.
I miss you. I’ve been so busy…you’ve been so busy…I’m not trying to blow up your phone…but I miss you. I want to know how you’re feeling and that you’re taking proper care of yourself. I know how important it is for us to be together right now…and I guess I just want to know that you realize that and miss me too.
Leo is my date, yes. And I am his.
Also, I am yours. And you are
mine.
I am feeling okay and taking
proper care of myself yes!
And of course I miss you （and
realize the importance of spending
time together）。 How in the world
could I not miss my heart? Let’s
sleep and talk in the morning? x
*
Rosemarie knew Leo had been the one to ask the DJ to play “Purple Rain.” It was no surprise when he found her outside of the tent and bowed to her, held out his hand. Over his shoulder, she saw Caro and Trey walking away. Trey had his palm pressed against her back. Rosemarie took Leo’s hand but quickly let it go and stepped forward.
“Caro! Are you leaving?” Rosemarie said.
Caroline turned around and Rosemarie saw that she’d been crying. That asshole was always making her cry.
“Yeah. I’m tired. Call me tomorrow, though!” Caro said.
Rosemarie walked to her. Trey didn’t look at Rosemarie. He was busy acknowledging someone behind him who’d said his name. She hugged Caro tight.
“You don’t want to stay for the sparkler send-off? It’s in, like, half an hour,” Rosemarie said.
“I’m tired,” Caro said again.
“Okay,” Rosemarie said, wishing she could say something else. Wishing some Random Act of God would keep Caro from walking through the dark and getting in Trey’s car.
“Love you, Roses,” Caro said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Hey…you’re okay?” Rosemarie asked.
Caroline looked at her and said yes.
“Love you too,” Rosemarie said. Trey had turned around and was already walking away.
Rosemarie went to Leo and they danced to the rest of “Purple Rain,” but it felt like there was a wet rope in her stomach that was only getting heavier. She had faith （didn’t she?） that above their heads, the sky was still lousy with stars and that God was watching. Wasn’t He?
2004
14
Rosemarie and Sparrow were lying out on Rosemarie’s trampoline because that was a thing they did now. Also a thing they did now, ever since the prom after-party: kiss. That was it. Just kiss. When no one else was around, they kissed, even though Sparrow made a point of telling Rosemarie that she wasn’t a lesbian. The last time she said it, Rosemarie parroted her and said she wasn’t one either, and she didn’t even feel bad for the lie, because it wasn’t a lie since she was technically a label-hating bisexual anyway.