—Jane Austen
2019
17
Kasey
Kasey was leaving Goldie the next morning, so she headed to Caro’s early to surprise her with strawberry muffins and coffee from Plum Bakery. It was the sort of thing Caroline would do for her, especially because Caro was a natural early bird and Kasey had to teach herself to be one. When they were in high school, Caro bribed Kasey with homemade doughnuts and treats and strong coffee with cinnamon and whipped cream to wake her up when she slept over in Caro’s bed. And back then, when Kasey needed to talk about her shitty home life, Caro was all ears. Now, Kasey could sense that it was Caro who needed an ear bent for her. Maybe over coffee and muffins, she would tell Kasey the truth about her long-sleeved dresses, about her reluctance to tell any of them much more about Trey or what happened when they were alone together in that house.
Kasey parked by the double garage. One of Trey’s trucks was in the driveway, but Kasey didn’t know if that meant he was actually there. She got out of her car, stepped toward the door, and knew for sure Trey was inside because she heard him shouting. Caro’s voice answered him, and she was shouting too. Kasey froze.
After a few seconds, she leaned over.
She could hear them well since the window was open a smidge, and if she stood to the side, she could see them because one of the curtains was twisted up.
Kasey saw Caroline walking away, saw Trey grab her arm and snatch her back.
“Trey, let me go! Let me go, Trey!” Caro said. She sounded so scared Kasey pulled out her phone. She could call Silas. He could help. She was looking down at it when she heard Caro scream. When Kasey peeked through the window again, Trey had Caroline pressed against the wall, holding her throat. He kissed her and asked her if she wanted him to say he was sorry. He kissed her harder and asked it again. Caro tried to wiggle away. “Please leave me alone!”
There were times when Roy was smacking her mama around and if Kasey interrupted, Roy got even madder and meaner. Kasey knew better than to knock on the door. It could make everything worse. Remaining calm—because she knew if she gave in to it, she’d have a full-blown, out-of-body flashback of growing up with Roy—Kasey knew what to do. She put her phone against her ear and called Caroline, who always kept her volume turned up.
Kasey heard the ring against her ear and inside the house at the same time.
“It might be the bakery. It’s important, so let me go! Let me go right now, Trey!” Caro said.
Kasey watched Trey take Caroline’s face with one hand and squeeze it.
“Stop fucking up!” he said to her before pushing her head back against the wall. The picture frame behind her smashed to the floor.
Caro disappeared down the hallway and answered Kasey’s call.
“Hi, Kase,” Caroline said, sounding so normal it made Kasey’s heart ache. Her mind rushed to all the other times when Caro sounded normal too. Caroline had told Kasey to stop keeping secrets, but everything in the past six months had clearly been an act.
Kasey didn’t have the time to sit with that sadness.
She stepped to her car and got inside. Started the engine, hoping and praying Trey wouldn’t hear.
“Caro, I was gonna stop by with coffee and muffins this morning if that’s okay? Or…we could meet up at the restaurant later for dinner? Ada said we should eat after the place closes a little early tonight so we can have it all to ourselves,” Kasey said a bit breathlessly, trying her best to keep a lift in her voice even though it was shaking. Her hands were too.
“Thanks for the offer for this morning…but, um, yeah, let’s do tonight. Dinner works best. I’ll be there at nine. I can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow. I miss you already.”
“I miss you already too. Okay! Sounds good. How’s your morning? How are you?” Kasey asked as she reached the end of Caro’s driveway and backed into the street, drove away.
“I’m good. Going down to the bakery in a bit. Is it hot as hell out there already? Hmm, maybe I should swim first. Trey’s leaving in just a minute,” Caro said.
Kasey was scared to leave and scared to stay.
She took deep breaths. She glanced down at the two coffees in the cup holders, the muffins in the paper bag on the car floor. She thought of Caro alone in that house with that fucking monster. The same way her mom had been alone in the farmhouse with that other fucking monster.
“Enjoy your swim, Peach. I’ll see you tonight. Can’t wait,” Kasey said.
“Can’t wait!”
Kasey pulled far enough away from the house and off to the side of the road so she could watch Trey leave, and when he did, she followed behind him at a good distance until he turned and disappeared.
*
Kasey drove to the police station and asked for Silas. When he walked into the lobby, she handed him the coffee meant for Caro and held up the bag of muffins.
“Hi. I realized I don’t know how you take your coffee or if you even like coffee now. It’s been a long time. There are enough muffins in here for a few of y’all. I would’ve brought more but—”
“Thank you. I love coffee. This is amazing. My favorite kind of surprise,” Silas said. Kasey remembered that he’d said the same thing to her that night he and Grayson came over to Ada’s when they were in high school—that night they listened to The Chicks down by the lake and kissed for the first time. “And this is yours,” he said, pulling her dangly pearl earring from his pocket and handing it to her. She took it and thanked him. Ordinarily she would have savored how he’d been walking around all morning with her earring in his uniform pocket, but she was still too shaken by what she’d witnessed.
“How do you take your coffee?” she asked him.
“How do you take yours?”
“With all the good stuff.”
“I take mine black.”
“Well, that has lots of sugar and cream in it.”
“Delicious,” he said, taking a careful sip. “Are you all right?”
“Sure. Yeah. Thank you. Um, Si, I feel like I’m waiting around for you to be mad at me, and I’m leaving tomorrow, so…can we go ahead and get it over with?” Kasey said, trying to focus. She couldn’t tell him what she just saw at Caro’s, because she had to tell Rosemarie and Ada first. She couldn’t even sort out her feelings or the best thing to do about what she’d seen yet, and she knew it would haunt her. But yes, she could blurt out something else that was weighing on her.
So there she was, standing in front of Silas Castelow, wishing he’d fuss at her for running away. Wishing he’d tell her again how much she broke his heart. How he thought he’d literally die from it. Then, she could finally tell him she thought she’d literally die too.
But she hadn’t died.
She was still here.
So now what?
“Yeah, um, step out here with me real quick?” Silas said, moving toward the door of the station and holding it open for her. She walked out and he followed her. She was clutching the bag of muffins with both hands like a little girl with her school lunch. A few cars whizzed by in the morning heat. One of them honked at Silas and the guy stuck his hand out of the window, waved. Silas waved back and then started talking. “Kasey, come on; we were kids. And you had to deal with entirely too much darkness growing up. Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I slowly realized all you weren’t telling me? Yeah, it broke my heart when you left, because to me, we were golden. That’s what made sense to me when we were in high school, but that was a long time ago—fifteen years. I don’t blame you for leaving. I don’t,” Silas said, shaking his head.