“I think so,” Kasey said, nodding. She was ripping the paper napkin in front of her to shreds, surely thinking about her stepdad, all the Earls in this world who weren’t worth a shit.
“I’m praying for it. Hoping for it. I feel it,” Rosemarie said, finishing her coffee and nodding too.
*
Caro’s still in a coma. Going back
to the hospital in the morning. I
love you, Esme.
I love you too, Rosie. I’m so sorry
and I’ll keep praying. I’ll be down soon.
Rosemarie didn’t feel like singing, and she told Leo that first thing. Leo knew everything about what was going on, and he’d made tea and peanut butter cookies, but she didn’t feel like drinking or eating anything. She forced herself to take small sips of water. She was so tired and her head hurt; she needed to sleep and sleep. She’d been avoiding the calls and voicemails from her doctor, and the day had been too much. She felt so fragile, like a feather could split her in two. They got on the couch with Basie snug next to them. Rosemarie lay in Leo’s arms and he held her like that. She fell asleep quickly with her ear pressed to his chest, listening to his heartbeat thumping like a train over tracks.
2004
22
At the graduation party, Rosemarie found her daddy and told him that her car was in the school’s parking lot with a dead battery. Sparrow had come up and hugged her before disappearing with Frankie, and Rosemarie hadn’t sorted her feelings out about that yet. Those feelings were lighting up, humming through her like fireflies as she walked across the backyard toward Ada and Kasey. They’d put drunk Caroline upstairs in Ada’s bed for a quick nap.
“I can’t get in touch with my mom. She won’t pick up,” Kasey said. Her hands were shaking. “I…I don’t know what to do, because she’s supposed to be here. If she’s not here—”
“She’s supposed to be here,” Rosemarie said. Shit. Shit. Shit!
“Right. But she’s not,” Kasey said. “She won’t pick up.”
Kasey may have been freaking out, but Rosemarie could tell from the look on Ada’s face that Ada was in supreme panic mode.
“I keep telling Kase we need to go find her! I keep telling her maybe I didn’t put enough onions and jalapeños on the black-eyed peas. I put a lot of hot sauce, but maybe she wouldn’t know it’s hot sauce. Maybe she’d think it was ketchup or something! Kasey, your mom loves ketchup. We have to go right now. Maybe she’s—” Ada’s eyes were watery. She was blinking too much and talking too fast and being too loud.
“Shh. Shh, seriously, stop,” Rosemarie said, looking around to make sure no one was close enough to hear. She pulled them back a bit toward the garage. “Ada, she didn’t eat the food.” Rosemarie was 99 percent sure of herself. “Kasey, try calling again.”
“Please call her again,” Ada said.
“Ada, girl, you have to chill,” Rosemarie said. She had to!
“Okay. Okay. I’m calling her again,” Kasey said.
“She didn’t eat it,” Rosemarie repeated. She peeked around the corner and saw Grayson walking toward them. She nudged Ada, and Ada whipped her head around to look at him.
“Is she picking up?” Ada asked. “Fuck, Kase, does your mom sometimes not answer her phone? I knew this wouldn’t work. This was so stupid! There’s no way we could pull this off!”
“Sometimes she doesn’t answer, Ada. Sometimes she’s busy. She probably got stuck at the store…busy with…something…and look, Grayson will be over here in, like, three seconds, so shut up. Right now,” Rosemarie said through gritted teeth.
“Kasey, is she picking up?” Ada asked.
“Mama?” Kasey said into the phone.
“Is it her?” Ada asked. “Kase, is it her?”
“Mama? Where are you?” Kasey asked into the phone. She turned to the girls with one hand on her heart. She gave them a thumbs-up.
“Oh, thank God. Tell her not to eat the fucking black-eyed peas!” Ada said with a strong snap of relief in her voice.
“What’s up, y’all?” Grayson asked when he stepped to them.
“I’m dying of thirst. Come with me,” Ada said, flipping the switch and beaming up at him. She linked her arm with his and pulled him away.
Rosemarie spotted Leo in the middle of a small crowd and returned the thumbs-up to Kasey before joining them. Leo was playing the sax solo from “Careless Whisper” for whatever reason. Where did he get a saxophone? Also, why? It was the only thing that had made Rosemarie laugh at the party, and she felt disconnected from reality when she did it, because they were just having a collective freak-out, and now she was laughing. Everything was so weird. There RACK was, deep into carrying out a legit murder, and Leo was as Leo as ever. So good at being funny, dancing, and playing the sax so effortlessly, the same way he played every instrument because God had apparently snatched talent from some other people and given it to him.
When it came to the legit murder, Rosemarie had made her peace with it. She was born and raised hating injustice. Her parents were black people from the Deep South, so obviously they had no real faith or trust in the justice system. So often women who had to deal with physical and emotional abuse in their own homes rarely ever told anyone, and when they did, no one did a damn thing about it! Roy needed to go. Period.
“My mom’s fine and at the store doing inventory. She said it’s her job now that she’s assistant manager. I told her the food in the fridge at home was for Roy and Roy only. She said he probably has to go out of town or something. Maybe for the night. She apologized a lot and said she wants me to enjoy the party. Not to worry,” Kasey said, stepping next to Rosemarie, still holding her phone by her face like she was frozen.
“So, what do we do?” Rosemarie said. She found Ada on the other side of the yard. Rosemarie tried to wave her over without making a big deal about it. Thankfully, Ada saw, said something to Grayson, and walked to them alone.
“Nothing. Forget it. Everything’s…I don’t even know where Roy is! The car not starting was the first thing to go wrong, and it set everything off crooked, and Caroline’s drunk…and everything’s ruined! Everything we were supposed to do, none of it is happening,” Kasey said. “Rosemarie, it’s not your fault—that’s not what I mean.”
“I know, Kase. I know,” Rosemarie said, but she did love hearing it anyway.
“I’m so scared I can’t even think straight. I’ve been smiling but I’m a mess, y’all. I don’t think I can go through with this. Maybe we should do something else, but not this. I think I’m having a panic attack. Am I having a panic attack?” Ada said, breathing hard.
“Obviously yes. Just breathe slow. You’re okay. Put your head down or something. Be cool, Plum,” Rosemarie said. She put her hand on Ada’s shoulder and pulled her close. Caroline’s red hair swished their way.
“Slept some of it off! What’s up? What phase are we in now? Operation what?” she asked, obviously half-drunk.
“Kase, tell us what we can do. We’re not gonna let him get away with this. We—” Rosemarie said quietly as they tightened the circle. They were in the darkest part of the yard not lit by the lanterns or twinkle lights; everyone was drenched in the gray-dark now.