Caro wanted to believe her, but Mimi didn’t know what Trey was capable of. She hadn’t seen the look in his eyes. Caro tried to reach her arm out to touch Mimi’s face, but couldn’t. She couldn’t move like she wanted, and it hurt too much to think of trying again.
“Remember, day after tomorrow is the surgery on your shoulder,” Mimi said, triggering Caro’s memory. It was broken, her shoulder. They’d told her that yesterday. A fuzzy calendar flipped in her mind.
Yesterday was Tuesday. Today is Wednesday. It was Monday afternoon when I was at the house and Trey came home.
“I don’t want him to know about the baby. He’ll kill me if he gets the chance,” Caro said. “When he gets the chance.” The panic and the urge to cry had flown over. If Caro looked up, she could see it—a toy plane gliding through the blue and clouds of where the hospital ceiling should’ve been. It flew toward the door and slammed into it, crashed to the floor. A puff of black smoke sputtered from the back end and it disappeared.
She could also see Trey standing over her with both hands holding her hair, his fingernails pressing her skull, slamming her head into the concrete. Telling her he’d kill her because she was so fucking stupid and hardheaded, and he was so fucking tired of her.
“Not gonna happen, Ladybug. No way in hell, so stop that. All you need to think about is yourself and my precious great-grandbaby girl. I’m knitting this pink blanket for her,” Mimi said.
There was a vase of sunflowers next to Caro’s bed, another on the table underneath the TV. Another big one on the table outside the bathroom. A box of cupcakes from the bakery was on that table too. On top of her on the hospital bed, a soft, fluffy sunshine-yellow blanket. Ada Plum had worked her magic on the room.
Caro lifted her left arm—the one she could move freely—and touched her face.
“Careful, honey,” her grandma said.
“Can I take this off and see it? Can I see my face?” Caro asked, gently touching the gauze. Her chin, her cheek, the spot underneath her eye that hurt so much. The urge to cry flew over again. The toy plane soared up and through the window next to them. The curtain blew in and out like the whole world was taking deep breaths. Caro looked at the sunset-sky. The horizon, an orange scratch. “Is this a bruise? A cut?” Caro pointed to her mouth and the skin underneath it that was unwrapped. Touched tenderly and winced.
“Both. He hurt you everywhere. He broke your bones. Tried his best to squeeze the life out of you, but he failed. Let’s give your face a few more days to heal. No point in you looking at it right now and getting yourself worked up. We’ll fix it, so give it time. Let’s eat a cupcake. You know Ada has filled this place with flowers and treats. You should see the nurses’ station. Well, you can’t even see the nurses’ station for all the sunflowers Ada hauled in here. The girls will be back in the morning. They’ve barely left your side. I had to make them go home and get some rest,” Grandma Mimi said.
She pulled the cupcake box off the table and moved her chair closer to Caro’s bed. Mimi poured some water from the pitcher into a cup and put a straw in it, held the straw to Caro’s lips and she drank.
2004
28
The morning after Kasey left Goldie, Grandma Mimi handed Caroline a letter, telling her she’d found it under the ladybug rug.
Caroppenheimer,
I know how mad you’ll be at me, but I also know that deep down （after you get over being mad!!） you’ll understand. I don’t want you to worry about me! I ditched my phone. I’ll get a new one soon. When I’m settled, I will call you and check my email. I want to hear all your news! All your new pies and whether you ever work up the nerve to tell Beau how you feel about him! （You totally should, by the way! It’s clear the boy is in love with you too, Caro!）
Tell Grandma Mimi thank you for everything. Please let her know I’m okay.
I love you, Caro. So much. I’m sorry we didn’t get to do more together before I had to say goodbye.
RACK forever.
Kase
*
Caro was hanging at Rosemarie’s until her diner shift. Ada had just taken a tray of fries out of the oven, and Rosemarie was digging into a small carton of chocolate ice cream with a big spoon. She let her dog lick some off her fingers.
“Roses, stop! Dogs can’t have chocolate ice cream,” Ada said to her.
“Oh, right,” Rosemarie said, snatching her hand back and wiping the rest on her shorts. She breathed in and out—sad and dazed.
“Ada Plum, if you’re eating frozen French fries, we’re definitely in a major crisis. I mean, I’m a mess too, but we’ve got to hold it together,” Caro said. Ada had her head in Rosemarie’s fridge and didn’t respond until she’d found the bottles of ketchup, mayo, and mustard.
“Kasey’s gone and it calls for junk. Rosemarie, does your mom have Maldon salt? The big flakes? Where’s the garlic powder? I can’t find it,” Ada said, putting the condiments on the middle of the kitchen table.
Rosemarie pointed to the cabinet that held the spices, told her everything was on the second shelf.
They watched Ada get the spices down and put the fries on a platter. She seasoned everything and put it on the table in front of them. Rosemarie scooped the ice cream and fed herself, then Caro. Ada made them plates and stole a spoonful of ice cream to dip one of her fries in.
“Like, what are we supposed to do now? Seriously. I don’t know what to do,” Ada said. She was eating and crying. Caro started eating and crying too. Rosemarie leaned down to pet her dog. Petting and crying.
“I wish we’d been able to kill that bastard. Maybe everything could’ve been different, and Angie wouldn’t have gone out on the boat,” Caro said.
“Do you really think that’s how she died?” Rosemarie asked them. Caro didn’t know what she thought.
“Everyone else might’ve lied about that, but Kasey? She wouldn’t lie about it. Not to us,” Ada said.
“Right, but it doesn’t make sense. Where’d Roy go?” Rosemarie said.
Ada shrugged and got up to grab a box of tissues from the hall closet. She sat and snatched three out for them.
“He left right after the funeral. I don’t know. He’s into so much shady shit, but Kasey said he’ll leave her alone now that her mom’s gone. She said he probably has, like, a million women with terrible taste in men lined up to be his next old lady,” Caroline said, wiping her eyes. “God, I’m so tired of crying.”
“So, she told us all the same thing. That she’ll call us soon, and she will. I have her dorm address and everything. She hasn’t fallen off the face of the earth. She just needs some time, that’s all,” Rosemarie said.
“Right,” Ada said.
“So why do we feel so awful?” Caro asked.
No one answered.
*
When Beau was going on break, he asked Caroline if she wanted to smoke with him, and she said yes.
“That Almost Summer Pie you made is my favorite, just so you know,” he said, when he was finishing his cigarette. She was still smoking. She’d never smoked a cigarette outside of his presence, and she wondered if he knew that. If she should tell him. Shouldn’t she tell him something?